Help and advice needed for husband

[garydunlop]

Hi all

so glad to have found this forum.

Long story im afraid, but here goes


After a very stressful time at work, including a fall, my wife was in hospital for a weeks or so, she came home and returned to work, sever weeks later we went to a familty wedding (at 35weeks)

we thought her water had broke, and that ended up with another weeks stay at maternity, which ended in her having a pyscotic break, diagnosed as PP

she was in a pyhciatric hospital for 3 weeks, before being discharged and cam home to await the birth. all was going well, although she spent much of the time in bed and very tired, after the birth, which apart from 2 tears, went well, she went down hill within a few days

the birth plan with the doctors always had a possibility she would go to the mother and baby unit, were she has been for 10 days now

she is coherant, and has been since the birth, just very very low, worried about binding, being a good mum etc etc, and desperately missing me and home

prior to the birth she was on haliparadol, she is now on an alternative, plus anti depressants


i am really confused, as to wether this is PP, or "just" PNI, she want to come home (its our first child) as she is desperately lonely, although i am there up to 8 hrs a day, plus parents visiting etc

she is getting no 1 to 1 psychiatric help as far as i cane see, she is alone on the mother and baby ward, with baby in a locked nursery, and can only go in there when he is awake, for feeds etc, which she has found hard, she is now bottle feeding , as breast was to stressful for her


HELP


i dont know where to go, the dr has suggested ECT, but this seems far to risky, and after reading other PP sufferers accounts, my wife seems no where near that bad

[cheshire]

Hi Gary

Welcome to the sitex

Our Patron Elaine Hanzak suffered PP and was treated with ECT.

You can read about it here:

www.elainehanzak.co.uk/

Look after yourself - this is very hard for you toox

Hopefulx

[vicky]

Hi,

I can only speak for myself I too was diagnosed with PP when my daughter was 2 days old and spent nearly a month in psych unit. There were no spaces at a mum and baby unit and at that time I refused to take my daughetr with me anyway. I wasn't sectioned as I went in voluntarily but this your wifes rights and possibity of leaving etc are very different if she was sectioned.

My time in hospital was primarily about me and my baby being safe there is very little real therapy etc that happened there for me at least and to be honest i was not in a fit state to recieve it counsellign etc will all come much later.

I was lucky as when i was discharged we baby, husband and I moved in with my parents for 6 months. Your wife will need lots of support etc and is will take a long time for her to become the woman that you love again but I can promise you she will come back.

All I can say is follow the guidance of the experts but also trust your instincts and overall remember the safety of you all is paramount. But you will need lots of support I still have a home start volunteer that visits me every week for half a day and a psychiatric nurse that sees me once a week. My daughter is 14 months but I need almost constant daily support from in my case from my mum. So its prob worth trying to explore what support you can have at home now I have heard of other people paying for a nurse to come in daily depends on circumstance and what suits your family.

PP and PNI to me are so closely linked. PP is obviously very disturbing I was hearing voices/seeigns things etc but with medication this was controlled within a few weeks leaving me with the dreaded depression which has been far more crippling to deal with.

Hope this helps

Vicky

[garydunlop]

she was sectioned about 4 weeks before the birth, and discharged(taken off section) and allowed home after a 2 1/2 week stay

she is a volunterry patient now

today has been a better day, her key worker says she has noticed her mood lifting, and we hope to hear tommorow if we are allowed a home visit, so fingers crossed

when i return to work, i have arranged to move in with my parents during the week, so she has lots of support and guidance

[winegirl]

Hi Gary

It sounds like you are very clued up already with how to deal with this situation, and with the love and support from your family and friends you will all get through this.

Its a long and tiring road, and there will be times when you and your wife will wonder if it ever ends. But it does, and that is what to hang on to.

I am glad it looks like your wife is starting the road to recovery with her mood lifting, I really do wish for all the best for you guys x

Winegirl x

[destiny]

Hi

I wish I could answer this from my partners point of view but sadly I can only talk from my own experience of PP. I was diagnosed 1 month after giving birth and was sectioned involunarily in a main stream psychiatric hospital whilst waiting for a free mother and baby unit space.

I would suggest allowing the professionals to lead, advise and offer the correct support and therapy. I am surprised they have talked about ECT as I had thought that this was used for patients who do not respond well to drug therapy. I suggest reading up and asking loads and loads of questions concerning the support that she will receive.

There's not much written about PP (I've searched loads) and it's rare to find sufferers but what I have found out is how symptoms differ. I was psychotic rather than depressed and suffered with hallucinations, panic attacks, voices, mania, OCD, paranoia and the like...

Your wife will want to come home and she will probably try her best to convince you that she is ready to come home. This may not be the case. The professional will know best. PP recovery can be speedy and successful with the correct support and treatment.

I wish you and your family well.

x

[destiny]

PS - I have read Hanzak's book. It was very enlightening. Her experience of ECT was a positive one. Like you I was sceptical but what ever works...

[garydunlop]

long meeting today with pyscologist, nurses,social workers, mental health peeps etc

upshot, they are hoping weeks, not months, she can come home for a day saturday, will be going out with her support worker for a coffee wednesday, and we hope for some weekend leave if she improves enough for this.

she is now bottle feeding, so medication can be increased with no worries about baby(brandon). Brandon is doing fantastic, now up to 120ml per feed(11 days old)

positive day in parts, although she is very low, especially in the mornings, she was talking of feelin suicidal(down to her low feelings) with the nurse this morning, hence no leave this weekend

but in all she seems to be slowly improving

[vicky]

It sounds like things are definetly going in the right direction. I have heard of PP sufferers going back to work when the baby was 6 months and feeling back to "normal" then so some people do recover quicker than others. You obviously are getting the support you need etc So pleased brandon is doing well Lottie was bottle fed too and she is a really confident happy and content baby. I can honestly say and everyone else does too that Lottie appears totally unaffected by the events after she was born and I'm sure Brandon will thrive. Good luck.

[garydunlop]

thanks, they are not totally happy with her going home for the day, but they are allowing it, with our support there for her

she will be going for a coffee with her new support worker wednesday, so hopefully in the long term this support will help her open up, and i had a LONG chat with the child services lady at mine today, hopefully as ive been very honest, she has a clear idea of our family dynamic

we have a very difficult, and old (75) mother in law (lisas mum) who has been a pain in the arse, doesnt understand mentle ilness etc

im spending a few nights at my parents, get some decent meals in me, done all the house work this afternoon, get the place tidy for her day visit


thanks for the support

Gary

[vicky]

Hi Gary,

My husband says that the time when I was in hospital was for him the worst time so hopefully the worst is over. I had an email volunteer through this webite that was a past sufferer and I did find this really helpful so perhaps Lisa will benefit from that in the future too.

Its a shame that Lisa's mum isn't more supportive butit sounds like there are lots of other people she can go to.

Hope the visit home goes well.

vicky

[garydunlop]

hi, the home visit has gone really well, she was a little down/low as expected, but got better as the day went on, she fed, changed and bathed him with me, and even put him down herself, once she rocked him to sleep, she doent really see the improvement in herself as yet, but me and my parents really noticed the small things, like her putting him down herself, and helping me bath him etc etc

lets hope the meds continue to help, and she continues to improve

[vicky]

Really pleased that the home visit went well bathing and feeding the baby is a big thing I wouldn't even touch Lottie until she was over 2 months old so sounds like she is doing really well. I guess its just one step at a time.

All the best

Vicky

[garydunlop]

all change!!!

her regular doctor is back from a 3 week holiday, all her medication is changing

hopefully good news

she is still recovering nicely, and seems a lot brighter that she was last week

[winegirl]

Thats great Gary, and thanks for keeping us updated. My thoughts are still with you, your wife and your little one.

Sending you love

Winegirl x