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Post by Scarlet on Dec 12, 2007 11:12:58 GMT
Hi Kankick,
I think perhaps the social workers didn't see if because it was a gradual build up. Either that or she was wearing a mask and hiding it. It's often more difficult to hide it from our nearest and dearest, but from strangers it is easier, also perhaps she masked it because she was afraid they would take her baby.
As for her not mentioning or speaking about your baby, I was the same. For the first few weeks I couldn't even acknowledge that my baby was mine, I just kept on referring him as 'the baby' and I couldn't help it. She is not in control of her own mind and thoughts at the moment Kankick, and 28 days is a short time in the grand scheme of things it really is.
I was in hospital for 3 months myself, and if I hadn't had family support and help with my baby afterwards, who knows I may have had to stay longer. I was lucky though because my baby was with me in hospital.
I just want to reassure you though, that she will recover, although this may be a slow process that could last a year or two. She is also going to need to be cocooned with love and support at home and to feel safe and secure, and she'll need help with the baby and also medical support. There needs to be a support network for her when she comes out of hospital, and perhaps someone to be with her 24 hours for the first few months and to take over many of her motherly duties (although not completely) until she can be slowly acclimatised and make a bond with her baby.
Like Veritee says, please take care of your own emotional wellbeing. Do you have family or friends that you can offload to, it really will help. Please don't isolate yourself.
Scarlet X
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Post by kankick on Dec 12, 2007 14:08:11 GMT
Hi yall?Talk to the hospital evryday like morning and late at night just to check how she is getting on.Things aint looking that great from what i sense.But as yall know this is one mad road we in.Just trryin to hang on and take it easy.
I have family i can offload onto but i dont want to bother them coz they worry a lot too and its gonna affect them knowing what im really going thru.Neva tell it all just try to make out like everything is alrite coz i dont want them to be worried u know.Know it sounds krayzie but they been affected by all this and just had to put on a mask and make it out like everything is alrite.Even when they koll and ask i just say evrything looks better.Specially my pple they worry a lot so dont want their lives stressin coz o me.
As for help i will seek some but i think im alrite.Just have to keep busy and my mind occupied all the time.Just feel like being on ma own ryt now.
Will keep yall posted on how everything goz thoh cuz i more than appreciate this...
Thanks..
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Post by winegirl on Dec 12, 2007 15:44:51 GMT
Hi Kankick
I can understand your reasons for not wanting to tell your family too much as not too upset them, but maybe if there is just one person you could talk to it may help. It is important you dont become isolated in all of this - and it so easily done!
How is baby at the moment?
WG x
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Post by kankick on Dec 12, 2007 16:25:40 GMT
The baby is alrite thanks....Growin alot big now, too bad cant be there everyday really feel bad u know.But like i said i am working on gettin her to be with me like till the mum is ok but theres a lotta things i gotta go thru but am bizzy on it.Hopfully it gonn b soon cuz its killin me havin someone that dont even relate to any of us havin to take care of ma BABY.Know they professionals and that but they doin they job at the end of the day and God knows wat they mty b doin....Sorry bt i don trust nutin...
Wall i been crying on pple n honestly dont wanna bug anyone ryt now coz theres a new page to this everyday.This forum has helped me alot.God knows wat.. if it wasnt for this site coz i have learnt alot.
Gonn let yall kno how things develop hyt.Thanks alot again..
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Post by winegirl on Dec 12, 2007 23:01:00 GMT
Glad baby is ok hun, noy long now before you wil have the LO with you properly and it you can start building your lives up together. Thinking of you.
WG x
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Post by Scarlet on Dec 13, 2007 9:02:22 GMT
theres a new page to this everyday. This forum has helped me alot.God knows wat.. if it wasnt for this site coz i have learnt alot.
There is indeed, but it does get better Kankick and things settle down and life goes on.
Keep us posted
Scarlet X
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vicky
Full member
Posts: 47
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Post by vicky on Dec 18, 2007 21:11:50 GMT
such a difficult time for you all Kankick. My daughter is 18 months old now and i too was in a psych unit for several weeks. It take time, medication and the support of a loving family and partner but you can recover. If it is PP it is totally linked to giving birth so it would be very unlikely for your partner to experience anything like this again. good luck with social services and with the dcs.
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Post by kankick on Dec 19, 2007 14:58:11 GMT
Hi yall?Thanks a lot for the messages.Well things are still the same, guessin she will be in hospital throughout the festivities.She is still to herself bt tymz like last night she called me and we chated for while bt you know just wish it be for longer coz i got a lot to discuss with her.
The baby is alright and all.Will keep you guys posted.Tymz i feel like giving in and just concetrating on the baby but it aint an easy thing bt of course i do think about it at times.Know its ridiculous thought bt im gettin affected by this and feel like maybe if i dont put my mind off things i mite suffer sumthing too.Bt yt again i love her and wanna help...
Hard!!!!!Bt wont give up on her...EVA..
Keep yall posted..Thanks...You guyz are great, tymz i wonder what n where i wud be ryt nw if it wasnt for diz forumz...
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Post by kankick on Dec 21, 2007 16:43:52 GMT
Hi guyz....
My baby is to be put in the same unit as the mother.Mother ,baby unit.Thats like the bast thing thats happened so far.Feel something is changin coz even she called me herself and let me know.Am so relieved, see some light.
Merry Xmas to everyone in this site and yo families. U guys are greaatt..!!!! Appreciate all the help ive got here.
Lata.
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Post by Scarlet on Dec 21, 2007 16:48:52 GMT
That's great news Kankick, and the way it should be for both mum and baby.
Here's wishing you a lovely Xmas too and I hope in 2008 you see your GF make great strides in her recovery and you have your little family back home with you, which I am confident will be the case.
Scarlet X
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Post by winegirl on Dec 21, 2007 20:11:09 GMT
Hi Kankick
Fabulous news!!! This really is a massive step forward and I am very pleased for you both.
Hope you have a good Xmas too and the start of a great new year to come xxx
All the best
WG x
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Post by cheshire on Dec 21, 2007 20:18:18 GMT
That is great newsx
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Post by kankick on Dec 24, 2007 18:00:58 GMT
Thanks guys, i feel betta even thoh it aint gonn b the Xmas i expected but i see better days ahead.
Yu guys are the greatest...
Love yall...Have the best o festivities..Thanks..
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Post by winegirl on Dec 24, 2007 20:14:00 GMT
Hi Kankick
I hope you guys manage to have a nice Xmas even though it wasnt what you were hoping for. All the best for the New Year to you all x
WG x
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