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Post by kankick on Nov 21, 2007 18:17:20 GMT
Thanks first off to everyone in this site.I bin reading a lot of posts and really does help.My situation is like this.....
Im 24, my girlfriend is 19.We jus had a baby 3 months ago.Due to some circumstances i had to leave my girlfriend when the baby was about a month old but we had discussed she would join me as soon as.Two weeks after i left she started acting differently and didnt wanna move when i asked or even to visit but kept threatening to give up my baby.Thought she would neeva do something like that.But at the time she wasnt talking on the phone but sounded very quiet which was very strange coz she is the exact opposite.Even went to see them twice i had to coz she wudnt move or visit.
Two weeks ago our baby was taken away by social, she was out twice at two a.m and cops brought that to her.I just got a call from social and the cops explaining what was happening.At that time my girlfriend was threatening me that she will take her own life.That has been the most trying time in my life.
Her dad came and took her, at that time she was alryt.A week later she went bersek, started slowly but heard some of the things she was doin and it aint easy for me typing this.... She would strip naked, talk a lotta things that didnt make sense and scream at any1.It wasnt an easy decision to make but me and her dad decided after a long wait that she had to be admitted.Its now about a week since she has been in hospital.First i didnt understand what was happening till i did my own research to get to the bottom of this.Everyone can imajine how i felt towards her after my baby was taken away but little did i know what she was goin through.
She is still on the psychiatric ward and is slowly recovering and please any help would be greatly appreciated.
Is this MAYBE because she let the baby get taken away or is PP.?And what happens after all this is over with?Does it reoccur at a later stage? Can it get any worse like maybe she can be disturbed for life?She is just on stabilisation drugs at the minute and we have been told if there is no improvement she will be sectioned.
Any help will be apprecdiated plizzzz. Thanks...
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Post by cheshire on Nov 21, 2007 19:57:53 GMT
Hello there,
I am so sorry to hear that you and your girlfriend are going through such a very difficult time. It's difficult to know what to say, as I really feel for your girlfriend right now and know it must be terribly hard for you too at the moment.
I suppose if I was to advise anything - and it sounds like this is what you are doing by researching etc.anyway - I would say try if at all possible (v. hard) not to judge her at the moment as she is clearly very unwell. She may give no impression whatsoever (probably the opposite) that she needs you - but deep down believe me, she does need the support (sorry, sure you know that - I suppose I am coming from the sufferer's perspective)
It is impossible for us to say whether this is PP or not - but hopefully the hospital can shed some light on this. But the main thing is she is very ill and needs a lot of help and support. Women recover, so I would not worry about the long term right now. How can we help? We'd really like to support you if we can?
Love Hopefulxx
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Post by winegirl on Nov 21, 2007 21:39:14 GMT
Hi there, welcome to the site x
I am so sorry for everything you and yor girlfriend are going through, it is clearly a terrible time. As Hopeful has said, please try not to judge her through this. She is very ill and needs your love and support until she gets better. Recovery can be a long and bumpy road, but we do get there in the end.
Where is your baby now? Have you had any access?
Please come back to talk to us anytime, we are here to suport you and your family x
WG x
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Post by marion on Nov 22, 2007 12:56:48 GMT
Hi there and welcome to the site
Please try and be there for your girlfriend. She is crealy very unwell and needs you so much right now. I have not suffered with pp but have had very severe pnd being admitted to psych hospitla for a very long time. I am still recovering slowly but I do not believe there will be long tmie effects for me. As I see pni (pp or pnd) it is a one off episode of mental illness triggered by the birth of a baby but it will subside in time.
I hope you get to see your baby soon. This must be a very hard time for you as well as your girlfriend. I hope you have lots of support around you too.
Please come back on here and let us know how things are developing. Eventhough it is ainly women who post on this site we are there to support the partners just as much and would like to offer that support to you to.
Love Marion.
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Post by kankick on Nov 22, 2007 14:39:42 GMT
Thanks a lot guys for the reassuring messages...
My baby is still with social services, i will be seeing her in a few days time.A lot has been happening as yu all can imagine and i haven`t been able to go visit her.As for my girlfriend i am by her side through this but feel she pushes me away coz she wont confide or really tell me as a partner what it is she is goin through.After the baby was taken away, a day into it all, my girlfriend just jumped on 2 ask me if we were still together or she shud just muv on, gt me ryt i didnt undastand this and thats y i have so much in my mind.Maybe it was just this illness like i did say she had been acting strange nway.
When all this started i had detered feelings towards her for letting the baby get taken away and was busy seeking advice so i can get full custody of the baby as i was thnkin of the baby at the time.That was my main priority.But wen things turned a few days later and she had to be admitted into a mental hospital i didnt know what to think.
The doctors haven`t diagnosed or told us what it is, they just treating it as she is depressed but we got a scare last weekend as she was refusing to take medication to calm her down as she was agitated and really distant.They told us they would have to section her and put her on a different medication if she doesnt show any change.Thats my worst nightmare.Dont know if anyone thinks like this but that type of medication i dont really trust and i strongly believe it can turn yu into something you not.We explained to her what was goin on and that she needs to help herself and honestly since then she has been doing quite well.
At this moment i dont really know my girlfriend, coz b4 i kud even tell wat she was thinkin but ryt now im blank.As for the baby she says she wants her back n all.
I am by her side and she even knows that coz i know she needs me the most ryt now.Has any1 eva gone thru this coz im scared quite honest and keep thinking wat the future holds for us.This shud have been the happiest days of our lives but its the exact opposite ryt now.
Any help plzzz.N once again really appreciate the replys.... Desperate Partner....x :-[ :-/
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Post by marion on Nov 22, 2007 14:56:23 GMT
Please dont worry about the medications she is put on in hospital. The one to calm her down was probably lorazapam. I have been on this and it's very good for taking away anxieties. The medications wont make her into a person she's not - all they will do is help her get over her depression or what ever is wrong with her. I have been put on all sorts of meds the scariest of which was being put on an anti psychoitc - you think you must be really mad to be put on something like that but it's not like that - it's just to help you with your thoughts.
How is your girlfriend finding the hospital? They can be very scary places when you first get admitted and you dont know what's going on. Have they suggested a mother and baby unit so that she could be with her baby?
I know what you mena when you say this is dupposed to be the happiest time but it's not - I was so happy when my little girl was born and just 8 weeks later it all came crashing down around me. But I can assure you that it will get better for you, your girlfriend and your little one. Once they get her one the rights meds she will start to feel her old self again and you will see your girlfriend emerging s the woman she was before.
Please keep us posted with how she (and you and the baby) are doing
Love Marion.
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Post by kankick on Nov 22, 2007 15:17:04 GMT
Thanks 4 the reply once again...
My girlfriend is alright with the hospital, she hasnt said anything like she dont like this there or that.As for the baby unit, the problem is her dad took her to his place which is a different city from where she lived as this was just a temporary thing, to try talk to her and find some answers but then she started gettin ill there and had to be admitted that side.So now, she is in a different city with the baby altogether.U can imagine.....
I will be seeing social workers as well in a few days time to talk for the first time and maybe they will understand the need for her to be put close to the baby.
How long the most can this go on?Or does it all depend how bad it hits you?
Really helps though knowing and talking to people that have suffered mere similar experiences.And plizz guys really appreciate the thoughts and advice.Will let yu know what the doctors say and how she is gettin on as i am gettin a lot of insight on this site.
Thanks....
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Post by marion on Nov 22, 2007 15:22:52 GMT
Hi Kankick
How long it goes on is like asking how long is a piece of string. I think it all depends on if you acknowledge you are not well and get the help you need early on which sounds like what your girlfriend has done. If they can get her settled onto the right drugs I'm sure she will start to feel better in a few weeks as that's how long it takes for the anti d's to get into the system. Then she can start to recover and get her life back on track.
Love Marion.
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Post by Scarlet on Nov 22, 2007 15:32:18 GMT
Don't despair Kankick,
This is a temporary illness, and she won't have for life. I spent 3 months in hospital (July~Sept 2006), but just over a year later (my baby is 14 months now) I can say that I am almost fully recovered. You just have to be patient and support her in any way you can. Don't talk about seperation or make comments that judge her, as this could delay her recovery because her mind is fragile.
I refused medication as well, and they gave me psychological support at first, but them I decided on the meds and took them for 4-5 months (a cocktail really of ADs mood stabilisers and anti-anxiety pills ~ and I was 8 months pregnant at the time), but I have been off all medication for about a year now.
It obviously depends on the circumstances and the severity of the illness to how long it can take to recover, and recovery is quite a bumpy road with lots of mood swings and tears, so be prepared. It may seem like a very confusing time for you and you don't know which way to turn, but be reassured that with yours and her family's support she WILL make a full recovery, please convey this message to her, as she probably won't believe it right now.
When she comes out of the hospital it may be a good idea to give her the link to this site and we will be there to support her through it. And of course we will be here to support you, so ask us anything you want.
Scarlet X
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Post by kankick on Nov 22, 2007 18:33:26 GMT
Thanks spans again for the replies.Now i get an idea of what my girlfriend is going through and no doubt this is all thanks to you wonderful people on this site.
Guess its all about patience and being there all the way, which i dont have any problem with coz i will stick by my partner nomatter what.Guess anyone can understand my plight especially if you dont know a lot about the illness.As for support i do reassure her plenty times everyday that she will get better and we by her side.
I will make sure that she registers on the site aswell as soon as she is out of hospital.And by the way she is seemingly calm lately and she will be seeing a doctor tomorrow who will let us know whats going on, but from how she has been and how she is now, i do have utmost hope that it wont be that long before she is back on her own self.Just that at times if you dont know you have these questions you ask yourself and cant find the answers but thanks to these forums i now can understand some of this.
Will keep you guys posted on any changes and really appreiate the help. Thanks....
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Post by marion on Nov 23, 2007 12:47:00 GMT
Hi Kankick
I am glad your wife seems calmer. That is good. Let us know how she gets on with the dr. Is there a computor with the internet on in the ward? There is on the ward I am on so I can access this site eventhoguh I am in hospital.
Love Marion.
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Post by kankick on Nov 23, 2007 15:29:35 GMT
Hey Marion...
I will ask today.Think it will help her a lot honestly.Thanks for the thought.And will definitely let yall know how her assessment with the doc goes...
Thanks..
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Post by winegirl on Nov 23, 2007 18:34:17 GMT
Hi Kankick,
Just wanted to say that you are clearly a fabulous partner and your OH is very lucky to have your full support. I hope we can continue to offer extra suport to you at this difficult time x
WG x
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Post by kankick on Nov 23, 2007 21:41:09 GMT
Thanks a lot for dat message.Makes me feel betta.Am doing my best in diz difficult tymz.Just wish this could pass asap so we kud be happy like we supposed to be.Thanks to these forums i got more than just faith that my girlfriend is going to be alrite and evrything gonn b alrite and we will be that happy family we always was.Nomatter how long that gonn be i will still be there for her.
Will let yall know wat the doctors say and any other developments tomorro...
Thanks...
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Post by winegirl on Nov 23, 2007 21:45:00 GMT
Best of luck for tomorrow Kankick. Hope it all goes well with the drs.
Take Care
WG x
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