|
Post by susanneb1984 on Feb 14, 2006 12:33:19 GMT
Definately! I had a wonderful birth with Thea, was back having sex 4 days later, lost the weight quickly, bonded with the baby and I still got pni.
|
|
|
Post by susanneb1984 on Feb 14, 2006 12:49:28 GMT
Ok, now for GJ's!
Although we thought Thea was 38 weeks, it turns out she was likely to only be 33/34 weeks when she was born. I was in labour for a total of 4 hours 37 mins, and loved every minute of it. She was a wonderful baby, spent 10 days in neonatal, but was a dream, slept 12-16 hours a night from 3 weeks old, hated to be held, just liked to sit on her own and play, she's still the same now! lol
So when I fell pregnant with GJ, I thought it would be the same. You get told ur 2nd baby is on average twice as fast as ur first, I knew it was likely I'd be early again and thought a 2 hour labour, I can do that, although I did want a bit longer, felt kinda cheated with Thea! lol
Anyway, I fell pregnant quickly, and this time the morning sickness wasn't as bad, it was more kinda now and then than Thea was! GJ didn't like tuna, although cucumber soothes your throat on the way back! pmpl
I stopped smoking with GJ, determined to have a healthy baby. Everything sailed like a dream, I had a few problems with my heart rate going sky high, was 141 beats a min at points, more than GJ's! lol
Anyway, 33 weeks came and went, 34 came and went, I was examined at 34 and my cervix was closed, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. 35 weeks, 36, 37, 38 came! lol At 38 weeks, I thought I was in labour, so went to hospital, I was barely 1cm, oh the joy. Especially when the midwife said that doesn't mean I'm in labour as it's unlikely ur cervix is fully closed once you've had one baby!
So my due date came and went, by then I was seriously not happy!
She was due 30th August, 31st August about 9pm I had a show, yuk it looked like a lump of vaseline! lol 4am 31st Aug, I woke up with contractions, about 6 mins apart, nothing I couldn't cope with. Remembering this is actually making me feel sick, and shaky, not nice! 8am came and we rang a friend who was having Thea. We got into hospital at about 12 noon, and I was examined, she said only 1cm but definately a labouring cervix, so she did a stretch n sweep. OMG that hurt, I was sweating with the pain. She sent us away for an hour to walk around the hospital. I started contracting every two mins, really intense, so after an hour I went back up and started on the gas n air, about 30 mins later, I felt like I was progressing quickly, but they only examine you every 4 hours, so on with the panting! We asked the midwife how far she thought I was, and she said she'd write it down in case she was wrong. She then said 'If your any less than 5cm, I'm going home' so I said 'If I'm any less than 5cm, your going to cut her out!' Anyway, she examined me, 2cm! I was gutted.
Anyway, this continued, the head midwife wanted to send me home because technically I wasn't in labour! I'd have loved for her to say that to me! lol I'd have waddled off the bed and socked her one! pmpl
They broke my waters at about 8pm, and GJ opened her bowels, not nice. At about 11pm, they decided I could push but because of my back all I'd had was g&a and pethadine, wish I'd have had the epidural now! lol
Well, the pain was unlike anything I've ever felt before, and I became hysterical, I couldn't push for screaming, and all they kept saying was 'Stop getting hysterical you silly girl, your wasting your pain' But I couldn't do anything else, finally at 00:43am on 1st September, she was born, almost 21 hours after the first pain.
I will never have another baby, she hurt too much and I couldn't do it again! The first time me n Alan had sex, I was so scared the condom would break that I cried all the way through!
When they handed her to me, I turned to Alan and said 'Take her away, I don't want to know, please just take her' so he did, and when I went to sleep, I remember hoping she wouldn't be there when I woke up. I'm still trying to bond with her now, and yes we are getting there, but it's been hard work!
|
|
|
Post by Veritee on Feb 14, 2006 12:53:15 GMT
Post crossed with your last one Susanne - got to go to the hospital app now so read it later Vee
____________________________________ Yes so true - we get PNI with bad births and good ones.
But I still think anything that makes the3 birth experience better is a good idea...
Thanks so much for your story Susanne it is good to get the other side as birth stories are not always bad and I guess the experience of most mothers must be OK or their would be 'hell up' as they say from mothers all the time
I only had one birth so I do not really know
VeriteeXX
|
|
|
Post by susanneb1984 on Feb 14, 2006 12:54:43 GMT
I've experienced both a wonderful labour and a horrific one, so I think I kinda have a view of both sides. Although having GJ has certainly stopped me wanting anymore, I'm just glad Thea came first! lol
|
|
|
Post by cheshire on Feb 14, 2006 13:11:14 GMT
My first birth experience was a good one I think. I knew when labour had started and we went in to hospital, but it progressed VERY slowly and I started to get anxious as my brother lost his first baby just a few months before (he was still born), so I had some pethidine - and apart from being sick, thoroughly enjoyed the feeling while it lasted. ...! Anyway, hubby was getting hungry and so went off for some food and within minutes of him leaving the room, my waters broke - and I rang for a midwife. I must admit, it was getting quite painful and I asked again for the epidural I had hoped to have.. By this point, some work men had come to fix the curtains in my 'room' and so I had to vacate the room where I was (by this point hooked up to a monitor) and was left standing in the corridor, waiting for hubby, in pain . Husband finally returned after what seemed like ages - and I said to him, as I was doubled over in corridor, wow this is getting seriously painful (turns out I was in transistion) so I was finally moved from the corridor to a delivery suite - and I asked for an epidural but unfortunately it was TOO LATE! I wasn't in there long at all before I got the urge to push..and I finally gave birth to my lovely baby girl, standing up. I managed a bit of gas and air at the pushing stage - I remember now saying to the midwife ''this doesn't help ONE BIT'' and she retorted ''you try doing it without love..'', lol. My heart was fit to burst when I saw my daughter for the first time and I was unable to take my eyes off her the whole night long.. The whole labour was only a matter of a few hours - and I remember them saying 'if you have another, it could be even faster. And GOD they were right, only trouble being my baby son was over 3lbs heavier and born at home with no pain relief I'll save that very short story of my second birth experience for another day!
|
|
|
Post by JDM not logged on Feb 22, 2006 17:09:25 GMT
Hi Guys
I have just been reading all of your stories which are all so different bur yet so familiar. I thought I would share mine it may help someone in some small way.
I had a great pregnancy up until 36 weeks when I woke up covered in an awful rash which itched like hell. I went to my GP who said it was heat rash, we were in the middle of a heat wave at the time and I went away with anti histamines. They didnt do much and when I saw my midwife she admitted me with suspected liver problems the itching was driving me crazy. All my blood tests were clear and they could not find the cause but discharged me and said they would see me in clinic. I went home that night and had a fall while fetching something from the car, so I was back in hospital again with a sprained ankle and a sore backside! lol! However my bp was sky high in A&E so I was admitted to maternity. I asked to go home the next day and as my water sample was ok they agreed but my community midwife said she would visit next day to check my bp. The next day I was eating my lunch when I heard a pop and then felt a trickle followed by a huge contraction. I felt excited but then I looked down and it was green, not good I thought so I called the Hospital they said I should go in straight away as the baby could be in distress. My mum came and took me to the Hospital when I arrived I was examined to be 4 cm and hooked upt to a monitor straight away. The Dr came and said the trace was fine but in view of the fact the waters were heavily stained with meconium they wanted to give me something to speed up the labour. I was then moved in to a store room - yes a store room I was told this was the only delivery room available as the labour ward was under rennovation and the only other rooms were in use. I was extremely worried that I was in a room directly opposite the visitors who I presume could hear everything that was going on. The midwife passed a very flippant comment something like this is where we normally keep all the spare cots and things but it will have to do and with that they wheeled me in. By the time the bed was in there was not even room for a chair for my hubby so he just perched on the end of the bed. The toilet was at the other end of the ward and therefore I would have to march down the ward past all the visitors with my drip trolley to have a wee. I said I did not feel comfortable about this so they handed me a bed pan. after about four hours the pain was unbearable and I asked for an epidural as the gas and air wasnt working the midwife left to page the anaethetist. When she returned she said he would not come when I asked why she said probably because he doesnt really get on very well with us. I felt upset that I was in the middle of Hospital politics. She then went on to tell my hubby all about a recent hospital meeting where things had been said by both departments and since then they were being awkward about any requests from the maternity ward and so she felt it would be unlikely I would get one because of this. I was so upset about what I was hearing I had planned to have an epidural all the way through my pregnancy as I am not big on pain and no had told me that not having one was a possibilty I was distraught and in agony I begged my hubby to do something so off he went to complain to the Dr. Turns out he grabbed someone on the corridor who he thought looked like a Dr and it turns out to be the head consultant! he came in and straight away said he thought I was over contracting the midwife returned at this point and looked very worried when she saw him. She talked to him about the problems with the anaesthetists and he said he would sort it. He also turned down the drip which seemed to help, he was a kind man and I started to feel better when he said he would sort things out. Half an hour later he must have done something because the anaesthetist arrived. He refused to do the epidural with my hubby present I still do not know the reason why this happened. He took 12 attempts to get the epidural in I do not think it was my imagination but I was in pain but I think he was swearing the whole time using the f word which upset me even more. The epidural did not work and the midwife said she thought he had probably done it on purpose to make her job harder. I was in so much pain I just wanted to smack her in the mouth to shut her up! She clocked off at 9pm thank god and I di get a lovely midwife who examined me and said I was 8cm and she did not think it would long she said she was sorry the epidural had not worked but she would get me some pethidine (the other midwife refused as she said she did not have time to get any sorted before she finished). The pethadine worked thankfully and I gave birth my beautiful baby boy at 12.07. I felt nothing. I told the midwife I didnt feel anything she said she thought it was the pethadine but she would keep an eye on me I latched him on to the breast I felt empty. My lovely midwife left me with a support worker (another bitch) to help with an emergency the support worker told me to get out of bed and shower I said I felt a bit sick and shaky she said what do you expect you have just had a baby and I need to clean this room anyway. So i got up and showered. Thats the last thing I remember I came round in the shower on the floor naked I had cut my head I felt dizzy and pulled the emergency cord. A dr came past and helped me up and got me a wheelchair and a towel she got me to bed with another midwife they took my bp which was low and they said my pulse was racing. They checked my blood loss which was fine and said I should rest the other midwife helped me get dressed I did not know where my baby was but did not think to ask. My husband appeared with him about an hour later he had been sitting in the room still and no one had been and told him anything. It was 4 in the morning and he left. I could not sleep or look at the baby. I thought I would probably die in that bed but no one cared. Looking back i feel that this was the start of my pni just 4 hours later. I have been crying while typing this but I feel better for outting it into words. My husband felt I should have complained but I really did not have the strength then. I would like to have another baby but I could not afford it as I would have to go private as the NHS system scares me now I dont think they have the resources or the staff to care for people properly. I collapsed several times over the next couple of days but they discharged me anyway when my gp came two days later he ordered urgent blood tests which showed my iron levels were very low. He said I should have had a blood transfusion in Hospital but they had never checked my iron levels. He agreed to treat me with iron.
JDM
|
|
|
Post by yoyo on Feb 22, 2006 20:38:28 GMT
HI JDM
You did well to post your story - sorry it was upsetting to do it but hopefully you feel a little relieved? What a horrid experience. WHen you read over the stories here it's no wonder we feel so traumatised and ill. The system really needs to change - esp with all the hopstial politics so clearly highlighted by your experience!!
Glad you had a few nice staff members a long the way and an understanding GP.
I understand completely why you don't want another NHS baby!! Me too! ALthough I'm sturggling with the whole do I ever want another baby which is a different story altogether.
As for complaining - its a tough one. My experience of complaining was pretty pathetic but I did feel a sense of relief just writing my points of view and posting them off to someone I must say x
YOu take things steady x x x x
|
|
|
Post by Veritee on Feb 22, 2006 20:54:24 GMT
Your stories are so heart rendering - I thought mine was bad but others are far worse and the staff involved seem to show such a lack of understanding for the needs of women in labor ....
A storeroom as a birthing room, a room miles from a loo, left standing outside in a corridor attached to drip in labor, women in labor being caught up in hospital politics, women being discharged without their iron levels being checked and needing transfusions - I could go on.
These are nightmare scenarios and should never happen to any woman with any birth!!!
No one can make your birth go well always but you are entitled to good care and a comfortable place to give birth always
we should really send these stories to Tony Blair or someone - his wife has had enough babies and I bet she never got such appalling care?
VeriteeXX
|
|
|
Post by yoyo on Feb 22, 2006 21:01:23 GMT
True!
|
|
|
Post by francoise on Feb 23, 2006 9:48:33 GMT
hi girls
i was in two minds whether to read these or not but i did and im glad i did , i had two very easy no problems births with my first two kids and no pni either then leons was hell , crap midwife , agony and everything was awful , i am worried about this one coming but i have time to decide what to plan for with it , i was gonna have an epidural but i shant now coz i couldnt bear it if it went wrong so im going keep reading the stories and see what looks like the best way to go but im so scared of it , its nice i had two good ones but they still hurt like mad but were quick and the midwives were ace and i was ahppy with the whole experience if you know what i mean but im not sure how to het my head round this birth , hmmmmmmm
francoise xxxx
|
|
|
Post by monica on Feb 23, 2006 14:59:47 GMT
Hi
With my eldest, my hind waters went on sun night. Went in and they admitted me. Nothing happend for 24 hrs then my bf went home and the contractions started. They were well painful and I went up to the midwife on teh ward, thinking this babe's coming soon as she gave me paracetamol suggested I have a bath as she said you've got ages to go. It was hell after that. They wouldn't let me call my bf. I had a bath but all it did was slow down the contractions and I had trouble getting out of thebath. I spent the whole night on my own in agony, crying.
In teh morning, I begged them to take me to the labour ward as I couldn't go on (I was only 2 cm). On tehlabour ward, I had to call my bf from a payphone as no one would do it for me. He'd phoned the ward I had been on and they said I'd had a comfortable night!!!
Opted for an epidural, which was lovely. After 6 hrs, he was born. It took me 2 hrs to push out my babe and after an episiotomy, he was born knackered, but thankfully fine.
On the ward, I was in agony. I couldn't sit down for 3 days as I'd bent my coccyx (only found out about this months afterwards. My varicose veins were inflamed so everytime I moved I'd get searing pains down them. My boyfriend decided to celebrate and went on a 3 day binge. He's turn up hungover as hell and couldn't help me at all.
But in spite of that, didn't get PNI.
My second son's birth was exactly as planned. Woke up at 6am and felt this pressure down below and then contractions started. Got to abotu 12pm and they were coming every 4 mins but were bearab le. Went into hospital and was checked - was 4 cm. The midwife, gave me a bit of a sweep (but didn't tell me). We went outside and the contractions were getting really intense. Went back in and was bellowing like a cow. Was checked and was 9cm. Midwife who was great, filled up the birthing pool, I got in and shortly afterwards, my son was born. Midwife was great. Really clear, consice and supportive. I felt so much better after the birth than after my first.
But in spite of the perfect birth, I got PNI!
Monica
|
|
|
Post by loriwest on Feb 23, 2006 20:42:55 GMT
Hi All
I have been in contact with Veritee, who suggested that this would be the best place to post my message.
My name is Lori West, and I am mother who is hosting a free workshop in St Albans, Herts on 11 and 18 March 2006 for mothers traumatised by childbirth. I am completing a transpersonal psychotherapy training programme, and this workshop will comprise the final part of my qualification.
I have been inspired to work with mothers suffering from birth trauma after having seen how detrimental the effects of a traumatic birth can be on two people in my life – my mother and a close friend. I have devised the format for the workshop after having given birth to my own child, when I could understand a) the profundity of the experience of childbirth, and b) what was needed in the way of support for mothers giving birth.
I will use a combination of discussion, guided visualisation and creative activities to help participants come to some resolution with their experience. I will also teach some useful tools, including EFT and a body-centred meditation that will help participants manage negative emotional effects of the trauma and promote a greater sense of health and emotional well-being.
If you would be interested in attending this workshop, please contact me on 07770 918275 or lori_west@btinternet.com, no later than 09 March 2006.
Warm regards
Lori West
|
|
|
Post by branwen on Mar 1, 2006 9:35:59 GMT
Do you mind if I post my birth story here?
I went into hospital when I was 28 weeks pregnant, with high blood pressure and severe difficulty breathing. I couldn't walk without getting so breathless I thought I would faint. I was diagnosed with a stenosis, a blockage in my windpipe, and pre eclampsia. At 29 weeks pregnant, I had an emergency operation on my windpipe to help remove some blockage. No one new if I and the baby would get through it, but obviously, they were ready to deliver the baby if they needed to.
I was so scared, I was convinced I was going to die. As I was taken down to theater, I was in tears. My partner ran off to be sick, and I just begged my anaesthatist to save my baby whatever happened.
6 hours later I woke up, relieved to find that myself and baby were ok - even though the operation wasn't much of a success, and I still couldn't breathe very well.
I spent the next 5 weeks in a maternity ward, waiting for delivery. The pre eclampisa was getting worse every day, and so was my breathing because the swelling in my windpipe made breathing/sleeping unbearable.
Finally, at 33 weeks, my blood pressure became uncontrollable and my daughter was born by emergency c/s. My blood pressure dropped so low, I was struggling to stay conscious. My daughter was born weighing just 3lb6oz. She was brought to me briefly. I couldn't believe she was mine, I didn't know what to do. I knew people were watching me, so I gave her a kiss. I felt so depressed and emotional.
People came to see me afterwards, and told me how beautiful the baby was (she was in special care, and I hadn't seen her) and I just cried. I wanted to die.
She spent 6 weeks in special care, and then came home with us. I felt so detached, and I didn't bond well at all.
She is 9 months old now, and doing so well. I just feel so guilty constantly. I'm ashamed every day.
|
|
|
Post by bam02 on Mar 1, 2006 9:41:43 GMT
Poor love, I think that would be hard for any one. How do you actually feel now after all this time? I know you say you feel guilty - but was it due to not seeing her at the beginning or you being ill? How are you now pyscically too? What ever the feelings I understand them? I really do?
|
|
|
Post by dustygirl on Mar 6, 2006 14:24:37 GMT
Hello again,i have already posted on the ' introduce yourself' thread giving a brief mention of my birth story but feel that now i am ready to tell my story fully.Appoligies if you have read some of it already. We were delighted but a little nervous when i discovered i was pregnant. I got morning sickness from about 6 weeks, but though it was fairly bad i got through it at 13 weeks and had a straight forward pregnancy. At 41 weeks my waters went on a friday evening i was in bed and jumped up thinking oh my God i have wet myself !!. Anyway we phoned the hospital and cos i had no contractions they said come in in a while when you are ready. I was examined about 5 30am and told to go home, that my labour should start within 12 hours.Iwas told to record my temp also cos there could be risk of infection due to waters breaking. We spent that day at home waiting and waiting and nothing.Ihad to go back in the evening again to be checked but still no sign of labour , i felt absolutely fine.We were told that if nothing happened overnight i would be induced in the morning -Sunday May 2nd. So,nothing happened, back we went and i was booked in and waited again.Iwas given prostaglandin gel in the afternoon and had some v mild pains . Eventually after a few examinations ( v painful ) they sent me to a delivery room to have a drip started. I then realised that due to being hooked up to a drip i could only venture a step of the bed to a chair or sit with my legs over the side but i could not walk round, this idea was not ideal.Ithink cos i had to just lie there i felt the pain stronger and time passed slowly and i still was not progressing. My contractions were erratic cos the midwife turned up the drip more and more to get things going.Ihad loads of internal exams during that evening and srarted to dilate bit by bit.Sometime during the shift change overs my own midwife from our local surgery came on , i was glad to see a familiar face.She then discovered that my bladder was full to bursting -- sorry i should have added i had an epidural at some point-- this was why i could not feel that my bladder was full.Istill think that it must be surely one of the routine jobs for them to do , a catheter after an epidural, i mean how could i feel it. Suddenly,after being told that i was 9.5 cm dilated and things were hotting up it was all change , there was a shed load of people in the room, i had to sign a concent form i was told i needed a c section , i was shaved , stripped off , dressed in a theatre gown , i was lifted on to a trolley and off i was taken. I was feeling disorientated and weak , i remember being so thirsty,but all i cared was that my baby was safe.Ifelt that icould have cried but that it would be all over soon. In theatre i was prepared and eventually my partner was alowed in with me,i remember feeling as though i had a fear inside me but i dare not let it take over or i may have freaked out ,no, i just had to hang on and i did. To this day i dont know have i coped and stayed calm. It seemed as though the op was being done to another person , just inches away i was being cut etc yet it felt surreal, i cannot recall anything that was said by the surgeons and yet my partner has told me that the theatre crew were betting on the baby's size and that he may be 10 lb. I wish to this day that they had lifted him up so that i could se him as he was delivered,i know that ,having been told by my partner that the surgeon had said to the assistant ' pull because he was stuck fast in my pelvis,so maybe they took him straight over to be checked before we saw him but i wish they had at least explained if this was the case.It left me thinking that because i did not see him come out or feel anything , he was not mine. Iknow that is crazy but i felt so out of it and confused and was handed my son - well his dad was- having felt no pain or had no chance to push him out ! Does that sound mad ,i bet those of you have had long painful natural births think i should be damned grateful !!!! After i was taken from theatre and back to the ward, and as time passed in the early days i adored him and took to motherhood well, though had a touch of baby blues on day 3 due to him loosing some weight and me blaming myself for not getting the knack of b feeding but all was well inthe end. So there it is my story and looking back i do think that it has a bearing on how i am now. thanks for reading. TRACY XX
|
|