Post by cazfletcher on Jul 9, 2006 16:47:15 GMT
ok this is a long one, get comfy every1
i had been with stuart a year when i found out i'd become pregnant while on the pill. hours after i told him i was pregnant, he was seen by mutual friends in his car with another girl, who id been warned about as she was the town bike and had her eye on him.
our friends came and sat with me at our flat while another friend drove after stuart.
things were bad after that. i went for a dating scan and was told i was 15 wks gone. by this time, stuart had convinced me to become friends with this same girl, emma. i was vulnerable and needed a friend, so when we got a 2 bedroomed house, and she said her mum beat her with a pan, i let her move in. i will always blame myself for the consequences.
it became obvious that they were having an affair, but each time i questioned them, they would deny it and call me paranoid. i found out from her mum months later that emma had told her of her plan to move in on stuart by any means possible, and that emma had beaten herself up with the pan.
anyway, in dec 2004 i had a threatened miscarriage, and was in hospital for 3 days. when stuart visited me, he always brought emma with him. the day i was allowed to go hime, he sounded really disappointed and nervous on the phone. they bith came to get me. when we got home, they wouldnt let me go upstairs, of course i went, and found her pillow on our bed, and her dirty thong on the floor. stuart swears to this day they never used the bed in there.
we were evicted from the house on 9th march,20 days before i was due. we moved in to stuarts family home. i just wanted to rest, but his mum just kept pushing me to keep going and do housework and stuff, even tho it was hers to do.
i was admitted to hospital on the 27th march with early labour symptoms, then a further 3 ocassions over the next week. i got sent home each time. stuart was getting very annoyed at being disturbed.
i saw my midwife at the surgery on april fools day 2005. i burst into tears and screamed at her to get my labour moving coz i was in so much pain, the baby was so low down. she gave me a sweep and sent me home.
at 11pm on the 2nd april, i was addmitted to hospital and was told i was in established labour but it was moving slowly. stuart wasnt really happy with me as CSI was on tv. :ostuart fell asleep at one stage and really didnt look like he wanted to be there. i refused an epidural but had a shot of pethidine at midnight. i also had gas/air and a ball.
by 4am i was 7cm so they told stuart to make the phone calls but it would be a while yet. cavan was delivered at 5.34am on 3rd april 2005. stuart stayed long enough to walk down to the ward and sit with cavan while i had a bath. no one would help me breastfeed and i ended up with black nipples and mastitis. we took cavan home on 5th april after pressure from stuarts relatives and the hospital. cavan ended up with jaundice so i had to go back to hospital.
life with a baby just wasnt what i hoped it would be, i had no support from anywhere, had no time to eat or sleep and no one offered me a rest. i will never have another child.
i had been with stuart a year when i found out i'd become pregnant while on the pill. hours after i told him i was pregnant, he was seen by mutual friends in his car with another girl, who id been warned about as she was the town bike and had her eye on him.
our friends came and sat with me at our flat while another friend drove after stuart.
things were bad after that. i went for a dating scan and was told i was 15 wks gone. by this time, stuart had convinced me to become friends with this same girl, emma. i was vulnerable and needed a friend, so when we got a 2 bedroomed house, and she said her mum beat her with a pan, i let her move in. i will always blame myself for the consequences.
it became obvious that they were having an affair, but each time i questioned them, they would deny it and call me paranoid. i found out from her mum months later that emma had told her of her plan to move in on stuart by any means possible, and that emma had beaten herself up with the pan.
anyway, in dec 2004 i had a threatened miscarriage, and was in hospital for 3 days. when stuart visited me, he always brought emma with him. the day i was allowed to go hime, he sounded really disappointed and nervous on the phone. they bith came to get me. when we got home, they wouldnt let me go upstairs, of course i went, and found her pillow on our bed, and her dirty thong on the floor. stuart swears to this day they never used the bed in there.
we were evicted from the house on 9th march,20 days before i was due. we moved in to stuarts family home. i just wanted to rest, but his mum just kept pushing me to keep going and do housework and stuff, even tho it was hers to do.
i was admitted to hospital on the 27th march with early labour symptoms, then a further 3 ocassions over the next week. i got sent home each time. stuart was getting very annoyed at being disturbed.
i saw my midwife at the surgery on april fools day 2005. i burst into tears and screamed at her to get my labour moving coz i was in so much pain, the baby was so low down. she gave me a sweep and sent me home.
at 11pm on the 2nd april, i was addmitted to hospital and was told i was in established labour but it was moving slowly. stuart wasnt really happy with me as CSI was on tv. :ostuart fell asleep at one stage and really didnt look like he wanted to be there. i refused an epidural but had a shot of pethidine at midnight. i also had gas/air and a ball.
by 4am i was 7cm so they told stuart to make the phone calls but it would be a while yet. cavan was delivered at 5.34am on 3rd april 2005. stuart stayed long enough to walk down to the ward and sit with cavan while i had a bath. no one would help me breastfeed and i ended up with black nipples and mastitis. we took cavan home on 5th april after pressure from stuarts relatives and the hospital. cavan ended up with jaundice so i had to go back to hospital.
life with a baby just wasnt what i hoped it would be, i had no support from anywhere, had no time to eat or sleep and no one offered me a rest. i will never have another child.
It sound slike you've had such a tough time even without the PNI!! Keep talking x xIt helps. Do you feel a liteel better for letting go of that story? x x x Here for you x