Post by sifreynir on Oct 26, 2006 13:22:55 GMT
If you read my previous two birth stories you will see that there was alot of baggage from them. I was so desperate to have a homebirth this time and remove the doubts about myself that the other births had left.
Wee Andrew born 16th October 2006:
After being told after a monitoring session at the hospital that I wasn't in fact dilated much more than 3cms (being previously at 5cms) and that I wasn't effaced at all (being previously told I was 75% effaced) I had all but resigned myself to the fact that my body had indeed failed. Despite many attempts I wasn’t able to examine myself and my OH was unsure at what he was feeling. I was just one of these women that didn't work properly and I should get used to the fact that doctors would always have to intervene to save my babies from the wrongings of my body.
I was planning on calling the midwives the following day (Monday) and asking them to break my waters or at very least book me in for induction as my body obviously wasn't doing anything properly it seemed a waste of time stressing at home getting my hopes up for nothing.
6.25 am woke up needing the toilet. Felt like I really needed a poo. I made it to the bedroom door and had to slow down a bit..."wow" I thought, "this is going to be a painful poo. I must have really bad constipation" :-o
I made it to the toilet, sat down...managed a wee...got back up because I couldn't 'do' anything and went back to bed.
Shortly after this my OH's alarm went off. Seconds later I got that 'toilet urge' again and tried to roll round to get off the bed for toilet again and couldn't move. At this point I let out a moan...it woke OH up properly and he switched on the light to see if I was okay.
I told him it was just bad constipation and went to the toilet again whilst he hovered nervously.
For an hour I paced up and down the bedroom and stairs landing backwards and forwards to the toilet, convinced it was just constipation that was trying to work its way down and it was just babies head in the way that was causing the discomfort...because of course my body didn't work ...I couldn't possibly be in labour...
I sent OH downstairs to wake my mum up...spent a few more minutes arguing with her about constipation; both her and my OH convinced that I was in fact in labour.
I did actually manage a 'movement' the relief was fantastic but I also felt a bit stupid because I had just agreed for my OH to ring the midwives (this was about 7.30am). "brilliant" I thought..."I have just called the midwives out their bed because I couldn't have a poo!"
I came out of the bathroom and had a go at my mum and promptly had another contraction :oops: eating my words about constipation after it subsided.
I was going to ask my OH to check my cervix but realised pretty quickly that I just couldn't lie down. My mum did take a look and a little feel. I sort of squatted over her head whilst she lay on the floor....brave woman...can only imagine her face if my waters had gone! She didn't feel inside just around my vaginal area and found it was quite hard. Didn't give me too many details at the time just said it was a good job I had called the midwives and shouldn't we get the waterproof sheet down. She said later she knew at that point the baby had probably already started to make its way down the birth canal.
Things were getting organised. The kids had woken up and mum was organising their breakfasts in the kitchen whilst me and my OH dealt with the contractions. I couldn't sit or lay down so with each one I held onto my man. It was so re-assuring to have him just hold me. It was terrible dealing with the two contractions he missed, you see the dustbins were due to be collected that morning and he needed to get them out, especially considering the sort of rubbish that would be thrown out after the birth, so he had to leave me to get it sorted. I started with another contraction whilst he was trying to put his boots on and lifted him to standing by his shirt collar so I could hold onto him again :-D
I did try to log on to contractionmaster.com to get an idea of how far apart the contractions were, but I couldn't get to the computer once one had started so never managed it. They were coming quite close together. We never timed them; they were just very close and very very strong.
I did have gas and air in the house along with the rest of the homebirth pack but I wanted to stay off it for as long as I could. I didn't have any idea at what stage during my labour I was and I didn't want the stuff unless I felt really needed it.
The blankets and things I had prepared for me to give birth on were set out on the floor in the living room. I put on the lamp and switched down the lights. The kids were now well aware that something was happening. My daughter got a little upset because she could see what pain I was in. I wasn't able to speak to her properly to reassure her because the contractions were so close together so I told her to speak to nanny.
My mum was an absolute gem with the kids; she was there with them the whole time explaining everything to them.
I felt I needed the gas and air, so mum got it out and turned it on....relief for a while. I sat on the floor naked bolt upright, there wasn't another position I felt comfortable in and was too hot to stay clothed.
Laura was the first midwife to arrive at around 8am (the one I didn't really like but by this time I was not caring) she busied herself about...doing whatever it was she was doing whilst I and my OH just held each other. The contractions were very strong, very close together the gas and air was hardly helping however the nozzle gave me something to bite on and I lived in hope lol!
At that point the running commentary started in my head. What on earth was I doing, this was definitely just as painful as being induced, how on earth would I cope at home, how stupid was I, what if I have another 12 hours of this.....don't be daft what would they do any different in hospital that you can't do at home, they would just take you in for a c section now stop being stupid and BREATH DAMN IT, it will be over soon just keep going….you know the really bizarre talking to yourself stuff.. :oops:
At a later point the other midwife Jackie arrived. She did whatever it was she was to do. Not much filtered through the contractions, I was so deep in concentration I didn't take in what was happening around me, and baby was my concern.
I remember my children. My daughter came in with a really worried look on her face and just stood there for a few minutes with her hand on my hair stroking it. My son who was his usual awkward nervous self...wandered to the door and asked if I was alright, then left again. I remember feeling emotional about it at the time but I don't think I cried.
I remember needing Drew’s hand to hold, I had often thought about that when I visualised the birth, he is such a strong man, and I needed him there so much. He spent the whole time rubbing my back and kissing me and telling me how much he loved me…..
For most of the labour the kids were with my mum. Mum reminded the midwife that I wanted the kids there if they chose it…she had either forgot or was hoping she could avoid it, but since mum mentioned it she couldn’t really refuse. She asked my mum and the kids to stay out of the living room until it was ‘time’.
I moved onto all fours, at some point. I remember being amazed at myself for deciding to do it and then feeling my confidence boom again when the midwife told me I was in the perfect position to give birth for the way the baby was coming out.
Our oldest cat Greebs, was sat next to me for most of the labour….right up until the point I let out a scream…I think then he decided his job was done! I was surprised to turn round at one point and see him there, he wasn’t the cat I expected to be there and he wasn’t impressed with Laura at all! She tried to move him over but he wasn’t having any of it!
I tried to figure out at what stage I was at, where my baby was in relation to being earth side. I didn’t manage it until he was nearly crowning and then it was unmistakable. My waters broke (at around 8.30am), Drew told the midwife that he thought they had broken. I had just had a HUGE contraction when I began to feel the urge to push. I looked down beneath my legs just after the midwives put another sheet down over them and saw bloody water dripping down and started to cry. I think the midwives thought I was upset by the colour…but I was crying with joy, my body broke the waters not THEM! I didn’t have time to explain another contraction kicked in.
Not sure at what point the kids and my mum came in the first time I became aware they were there was when I heard my two children saying “push mummy push, you are doing great!”. I think I would have cried there and then if I wasn’t busy at the time! Apparently the kids were brilliant through the actually birthing stage; they sat and watched me push their baby brother into the world. My daughter was in complete awe of it all…my son bless him spent the first bits peeking between his hands and hiding behind his nanny, but once she explained a few things, his squeamishness left….I am so proud of them both!
Feeling my baby move down I was in pure disbelief – had been for the entire thing. I was constantly assessing everything comparing it and re-comparing it to my previous experiences. It was just as painful as being induced and I wondered if I had made the right choice.
The pain in my back was horrendous, I kept trying to imagine what it would have been like to do this labour in hospital…induced strapped to a bed only able to deliver on my back…the visualisation worked…I convinced myself with that I had in fact made the right choice lol
I pushed out babies head and then a few seconds later out the rest of him came. All 60cms, 9lbs 6ozs of him…It took a few seconds for me to register that the main job was done, they shouted it was a boy and I heard them ask Drew if he wanted to cut the cord…which is probably when I realised lol. But when I looked down to see my wee boy he wasn’t there.
I found out a few seconds later he was covered from head to toe in poo (hence the concern from the midwife about me crying when I saw my waters, they realised then there was meconium in the waters) and they were just cleaning him up, making sure he was breathing etc. They wrapped him up and gave him to Drew whilst the midwives concentrated on getting the placenta out.
This was another part of the birth I was concerned about, having had a previously retained placenta (even though I know it was most likely the inducement that retained it in the first place) I was concerned that it would happen again and result in being transferred to hospital for an operation and completely ruining my plans. So I concentrated on getting placenta out….which I did! They said it was a bit ragged and had started to shut down, but otherwise fine.
They bathed Andrew before I got to hold him properly but amazingly I don’t feel bitter about this. I got to hold both my other children immediately after their births, but I didn’t get the recognition on their faces when I spoke to them until months later because of all the drugs involved in the labour, birth and afterwards. With Andrew, as soon as I held him and spoke to him, his eyes flickered towards me in instant recognition…it’s been the same since.
It took from my first contraction to the birth of baby Andrew 2hours 45mins…..all without intervention, my body did it all. I have to admit to being in shock until the early hours of this morning (18th October) when I think I finally recovered mentally from it all. I don’t know how ‘normal’ this is due to this being my first un-intervened birth.
It has all just been mind blowing. When you have two previous bad experiences of birth there is a lot to assess amongst all the usual hormonal upheaval.
I have been able to bath in my own bathroom, have my family around me, birth in a way that is comfortable to me, not having constant monitoring of everything I do for speculation and correction by hoards of staff midwives…amongst other things.
The labour was very fast, I wouldn’t say any less painful than my previous births however this is quite likely down to the speed of it.
I am just soooo much happier this time in comparison to how I was after giving birth in hospital.
Wee Andrew born 16th October 2006:
After being told after a monitoring session at the hospital that I wasn't in fact dilated much more than 3cms (being previously at 5cms) and that I wasn't effaced at all (being previously told I was 75% effaced) I had all but resigned myself to the fact that my body had indeed failed. Despite many attempts I wasn’t able to examine myself and my OH was unsure at what he was feeling. I was just one of these women that didn't work properly and I should get used to the fact that doctors would always have to intervene to save my babies from the wrongings of my body.
I was planning on calling the midwives the following day (Monday) and asking them to break my waters or at very least book me in for induction as my body obviously wasn't doing anything properly it seemed a waste of time stressing at home getting my hopes up for nothing.
6.25 am woke up needing the toilet. Felt like I really needed a poo. I made it to the bedroom door and had to slow down a bit..."wow" I thought, "this is going to be a painful poo. I must have really bad constipation" :-o
I made it to the toilet, sat down...managed a wee...got back up because I couldn't 'do' anything and went back to bed.
Shortly after this my OH's alarm went off. Seconds later I got that 'toilet urge' again and tried to roll round to get off the bed for toilet again and couldn't move. At this point I let out a moan...it woke OH up properly and he switched on the light to see if I was okay.
I told him it was just bad constipation and went to the toilet again whilst he hovered nervously.
For an hour I paced up and down the bedroom and stairs landing backwards and forwards to the toilet, convinced it was just constipation that was trying to work its way down and it was just babies head in the way that was causing the discomfort...because of course my body didn't work ...I couldn't possibly be in labour...
I sent OH downstairs to wake my mum up...spent a few more minutes arguing with her about constipation; both her and my OH convinced that I was in fact in labour.
I did actually manage a 'movement' the relief was fantastic but I also felt a bit stupid because I had just agreed for my OH to ring the midwives (this was about 7.30am). "brilliant" I thought..."I have just called the midwives out their bed because I couldn't have a poo!"
I came out of the bathroom and had a go at my mum and promptly had another contraction :oops: eating my words about constipation after it subsided.
I was going to ask my OH to check my cervix but realised pretty quickly that I just couldn't lie down. My mum did take a look and a little feel. I sort of squatted over her head whilst she lay on the floor....brave woman...can only imagine her face if my waters had gone! She didn't feel inside just around my vaginal area and found it was quite hard. Didn't give me too many details at the time just said it was a good job I had called the midwives and shouldn't we get the waterproof sheet down. She said later she knew at that point the baby had probably already started to make its way down the birth canal.
Things were getting organised. The kids had woken up and mum was organising their breakfasts in the kitchen whilst me and my OH dealt with the contractions. I couldn't sit or lay down so with each one I held onto my man. It was so re-assuring to have him just hold me. It was terrible dealing with the two contractions he missed, you see the dustbins were due to be collected that morning and he needed to get them out, especially considering the sort of rubbish that would be thrown out after the birth, so he had to leave me to get it sorted. I started with another contraction whilst he was trying to put his boots on and lifted him to standing by his shirt collar so I could hold onto him again :-D
I did try to log on to contractionmaster.com to get an idea of how far apart the contractions were, but I couldn't get to the computer once one had started so never managed it. They were coming quite close together. We never timed them; they were just very close and very very strong.
I did have gas and air in the house along with the rest of the homebirth pack but I wanted to stay off it for as long as I could. I didn't have any idea at what stage during my labour I was and I didn't want the stuff unless I felt really needed it.
The blankets and things I had prepared for me to give birth on were set out on the floor in the living room. I put on the lamp and switched down the lights. The kids were now well aware that something was happening. My daughter got a little upset because she could see what pain I was in. I wasn't able to speak to her properly to reassure her because the contractions were so close together so I told her to speak to nanny.
My mum was an absolute gem with the kids; she was there with them the whole time explaining everything to them.
I felt I needed the gas and air, so mum got it out and turned it on....relief for a while. I sat on the floor naked bolt upright, there wasn't another position I felt comfortable in and was too hot to stay clothed.
Laura was the first midwife to arrive at around 8am (the one I didn't really like but by this time I was not caring) she busied herself about...doing whatever it was she was doing whilst I and my OH just held each other. The contractions were very strong, very close together the gas and air was hardly helping however the nozzle gave me something to bite on and I lived in hope lol!
At that point the running commentary started in my head. What on earth was I doing, this was definitely just as painful as being induced, how on earth would I cope at home, how stupid was I, what if I have another 12 hours of this.....don't be daft what would they do any different in hospital that you can't do at home, they would just take you in for a c section now stop being stupid and BREATH DAMN IT, it will be over soon just keep going….you know the really bizarre talking to yourself stuff.. :oops:
At a later point the other midwife Jackie arrived. She did whatever it was she was to do. Not much filtered through the contractions, I was so deep in concentration I didn't take in what was happening around me, and baby was my concern.
I remember my children. My daughter came in with a really worried look on her face and just stood there for a few minutes with her hand on my hair stroking it. My son who was his usual awkward nervous self...wandered to the door and asked if I was alright, then left again. I remember feeling emotional about it at the time but I don't think I cried.
I remember needing Drew’s hand to hold, I had often thought about that when I visualised the birth, he is such a strong man, and I needed him there so much. He spent the whole time rubbing my back and kissing me and telling me how much he loved me…..
For most of the labour the kids were with my mum. Mum reminded the midwife that I wanted the kids there if they chose it…she had either forgot or was hoping she could avoid it, but since mum mentioned it she couldn’t really refuse. She asked my mum and the kids to stay out of the living room until it was ‘time’.
I moved onto all fours, at some point. I remember being amazed at myself for deciding to do it and then feeling my confidence boom again when the midwife told me I was in the perfect position to give birth for the way the baby was coming out.
Our oldest cat Greebs, was sat next to me for most of the labour….right up until the point I let out a scream…I think then he decided his job was done! I was surprised to turn round at one point and see him there, he wasn’t the cat I expected to be there and he wasn’t impressed with Laura at all! She tried to move him over but he wasn’t having any of it!
I tried to figure out at what stage I was at, where my baby was in relation to being earth side. I didn’t manage it until he was nearly crowning and then it was unmistakable. My waters broke (at around 8.30am), Drew told the midwife that he thought they had broken. I had just had a HUGE contraction when I began to feel the urge to push. I looked down beneath my legs just after the midwives put another sheet down over them and saw bloody water dripping down and started to cry. I think the midwives thought I was upset by the colour…but I was crying with joy, my body broke the waters not THEM! I didn’t have time to explain another contraction kicked in.
Not sure at what point the kids and my mum came in the first time I became aware they were there was when I heard my two children saying “push mummy push, you are doing great!”. I think I would have cried there and then if I wasn’t busy at the time! Apparently the kids were brilliant through the actually birthing stage; they sat and watched me push their baby brother into the world. My daughter was in complete awe of it all…my son bless him spent the first bits peeking between his hands and hiding behind his nanny, but once she explained a few things, his squeamishness left….I am so proud of them both!
Feeling my baby move down I was in pure disbelief – had been for the entire thing. I was constantly assessing everything comparing it and re-comparing it to my previous experiences. It was just as painful as being induced and I wondered if I had made the right choice.
The pain in my back was horrendous, I kept trying to imagine what it would have been like to do this labour in hospital…induced strapped to a bed only able to deliver on my back…the visualisation worked…I convinced myself with that I had in fact made the right choice lol
I pushed out babies head and then a few seconds later out the rest of him came. All 60cms, 9lbs 6ozs of him…It took a few seconds for me to register that the main job was done, they shouted it was a boy and I heard them ask Drew if he wanted to cut the cord…which is probably when I realised lol. But when I looked down to see my wee boy he wasn’t there.
I found out a few seconds later he was covered from head to toe in poo (hence the concern from the midwife about me crying when I saw my waters, they realised then there was meconium in the waters) and they were just cleaning him up, making sure he was breathing etc. They wrapped him up and gave him to Drew whilst the midwives concentrated on getting the placenta out.
This was another part of the birth I was concerned about, having had a previously retained placenta (even though I know it was most likely the inducement that retained it in the first place) I was concerned that it would happen again and result in being transferred to hospital for an operation and completely ruining my plans. So I concentrated on getting placenta out….which I did! They said it was a bit ragged and had started to shut down, but otherwise fine.
They bathed Andrew before I got to hold him properly but amazingly I don’t feel bitter about this. I got to hold both my other children immediately after their births, but I didn’t get the recognition on their faces when I spoke to them until months later because of all the drugs involved in the labour, birth and afterwards. With Andrew, as soon as I held him and spoke to him, his eyes flickered towards me in instant recognition…it’s been the same since.
It took from my first contraction to the birth of baby Andrew 2hours 45mins…..all without intervention, my body did it all. I have to admit to being in shock until the early hours of this morning (18th October) when I think I finally recovered mentally from it all. I don’t know how ‘normal’ this is due to this being my first un-intervened birth.
It has all just been mind blowing. When you have two previous bad experiences of birth there is a lot to assess amongst all the usual hormonal upheaval.
I have been able to bath in my own bathroom, have my family around me, birth in a way that is comfortable to me, not having constant monitoring of everything I do for speculation and correction by hoards of staff midwives…amongst other things.
The labour was very fast, I wouldn’t say any less painful than my previous births however this is quite likely down to the speed of it.
I am just soooo much happier this time in comparison to how I was after giving birth in hospital.
