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Post by tabbysmum on Apr 15, 2008 14:58:01 GMT
Does anybody have any theories or understanding as to why we get these thoughts? for me the thoughts are about harming my child (all based around my own phobias) and my own theory is they are something to do with my biggest fears and the heightened awareness I already have within. But I'd be interested to know what anybody else thinks or has been told - thought might make us feel a bit better if we can share some understanding.
x
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Post by littlelotty on Apr 15, 2008 15:40:22 GMT
Hi
For me the thoughts relate to a lot of my childhood memories and they have come back as fears, flashbacks, nightmares etc and the need and fear to protect my LO in order that she does not have the childhood I have. The trouble is they are not rational and gives her no space to make the choices or mistakes as I want to protect her all the time.
I am working with a counsellor around this and my childhood so I will let you know if I get any more insight.
Just remember the fears and thoughts are irrational and not something we would carry out just, although it is hard to think of this when you are having them.
Not sure this has helped you!
Take Care
LittleLotty xx
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Post by cheshire on Apr 15, 2008 16:50:38 GMT
Hi Tabbysmum,
I had these at the beginning and they were highly invasive, jumping from high points, crashing car, dropping baby, dying, family going to die etc. I have to behonest and say they have not gone completely, but I can manage them rather than them ruling me. I have read somewhere that these are one of the 'last' symptoms to go fully?
I suppose I see it as the anxiety causing the 'what if'/ dreaded thoughts; like our anxious imagination presenting the worst possible scenario/ things you could never possibly do....but in a way that is actually frighteningly convincing? This does improve with time x
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Post by AnxiousMum on Apr 15, 2008 17:27:58 GMT
Hi girls, Good topic! I have wondered this soooo many times too and have searched/asked etc. What I've been told is when you feel anxious, you think anxiously, which kinda makes sense. However, what I don't get is why is gets to the point where you question yourself and it really feels like you want to do something? I know in my heart I would never do anything, but when you mix in some panic/adrenalin it actually makes you question yourself. Why the body reactions too? ? Its like our mind tries to trick us. The experts say to accept the thoughts and let them float over you - yeah right "mmmm I may be a child abuser" - think that with no anxiety! I've tried and then I get anxious for not feeling anxious and the questioning starts all over - its a fantistic way to live. Sorry wee rant! I'm interested to see what others think though and you're right, it may help us better understand. It'd be good if some professionals wrote here as I think this would help too. Hope this goes away for all us sufferers real soon! Best wishes, xx
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Post by cokey on Apr 15, 2008 18:11:52 GMT
I was told that when we have kids everyone has these thoughts because our protection mechanism goes into overdrive. People suffer from OCD everyday but the nature of these the harm thoughts probably stem from your need to protect going into overdrive because remember the thoughts are the exact opposite of what you want tp happen.
In some cases, the thoughts are based on fears from personal experience. Justme would agree with that because her fear is based on having the same illness as her mum (hope you don't mind me bringing you into it jm?). Mine is that I will kill myself and that is because I don't want anything to burst my bubble.
The most common are the harm ones or the sexual ones. Sadly its because we are such protective caring people, we get this OCD.
Its pants though.
The anxiety causes the brain to reason with body I am guessing and thats why most people with OCD are intelligent and imaginative.
Wish I was thick lol
Cokey xxx
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Post by tabbysmum on Apr 15, 2008 18:45:17 GMT
So because my phobia's - water, heights and my neck being touched are part of my thoughts, is that because my protection mechanism has gone into overdrive and I'm terrified of her being harmed in that way? And if so, why do I think I might do it if I'm so scared of it myself? I'm just going round in circles here aren't I
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Post by cokey on Apr 15, 2008 19:57:55 GMT
dunno lol
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Post by cheshire on Apr 15, 2008 20:19:03 GMT
Hi tabbysmum, So because my phobia's - water, heights and my neck being touched are part of my thoughts, is that because my protection mechanism has gone into overdrive and I'm terrified of her being harmed in that way? And if so, why do I think I might do it if I'm so scared of it myself? I'm just going round in circles here aren't I I am no expert - but I can really see where you are coming from, from a personal perspective. What you wrote there struck a chord with me (if you don't mind me saying): And if so, why do I think I might do it if I'm so scared of it myself?I almost wonder fi you have answered the question? x
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Post by tabbysmum on Apr 15, 2008 20:25:01 GMT
I kind of feel that I do understand it and have answered the question, but it's not helping me deal with it any better unfortunately
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Post by winegirl on Apr 15, 2008 20:30:51 GMT
I am just about to come onto this in my mental health course i am studying so i will jump to it tomorrow and let you know what i come up with xx
Tabbysmum - hang in there babes, take one day at a time - it really does work xx
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Post by cheshire on Apr 16, 2008 10:51:32 GMT
Hi Tabbysmum, I know - it is hard to deal with & to shut them out. All I can say is that from experience, it will improve. I was recommended this series of books by my GP: 2nd one down by Paul Gilbert www.lovehealth.org/books/depression.htmHow are things today? Hopefulx
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Post by tabbysmum on Apr 16, 2008 13:17:47 GMT
Today's pretty bad, after last nights massive freak out cos I was in the house with her on my own I just feel dreadful. Spent all morning crying but have calmed down quite a bit as keeping myself busy. Got to get through the next 3 nights on my own yet - I can sense that the living room is going to be undertaking a massive spring clean!
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Post by littlelotty on Apr 17, 2008 12:07:18 GMT
Hi Tabbysmum
How are you feeling today? It is no bad thing to be crying - I have been told it is better to let it out than keep it in! I too clean alot when I am stressed or taking my mind of it. It is my way of keeping something in control as everything else is out of control.
I would try and not look too deep with the thoughts - I don't want to open any wounds but would question if your thoughts relate back to the past and the fear of being harmed, water, heights etc. I don't know your past so can't say this for certain but I know that some of my worst fears are because of my past and the need to protect her too much.
I hope this makes sense!!
Take Care
LittleLotty xx
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Post by tabbysmum on Apr 17, 2008 12:16:57 GMT
Hi Littlelotty,
I'm feeling much better now thanks, managed to get through last night on my own by keeping busy and so far today am ok. I do feel the thoughts are becoming a bit of a habit, I was discussing this with my gp and she agreed it is a behaviour pattern that needs breaking. My counsellor said the thoughts never go, because everybody has them, it's just that you don't notice them when you're not anxious so as time goes by I should cope with them better. I can relate to some of the bits about my past but not others, probably buried somewhere. But for now I'm trying not to dwell on my anxiety and my thoughts and keeping myself busy - I have just eaten a Toblerone, I have some more in the fridge ;D
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Post by cokey on Apr 17, 2008 12:49:58 GMT
Hi Tabbysmum
Don't like toblerone but have had one cream egg so far - maybe we should start a chart of chocolate eating!!
Cokey xxx
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