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Post by winegirl on Feb 13, 2009 11:30:29 GMT
Hi Hun
Oh you really have got it all on with your kids appointments! I guess they will never grow up being scared of hospitals! I hope they all go ok xx
As for your CBT today, well you may have already had it by now, but I am sure it will be fine. The first coupld of sessions can be a bit tough, but it wont be long before you start to see the benefits.
Let us know how it went when you get chance??
WG x
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Post by michelle1985 on Feb 13, 2009 11:45:42 GMT
gggrrrrr it turned out to be just a quike chat to see how they would help me i am now on a waighting list for anything up to a year to get the cbt ;( feela bit sad now.. michelle
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Post by winegirl on Feb 13, 2009 11:53:56 GMT
Oh hun sorry about that. But in teh meantime you can buy a book on CBT techniques or even get a few of youtube?? Every bit helps babes....
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Post by michelle1985 on Feb 13, 2009 14:12:54 GMT
thank you is there a book you could recomend love.. michelle xxx
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Post by winegirl on Feb 13, 2009 15:50:05 GMT
Yeah I have some reading material at home. When I get back I will have a look at it and get a list for you x
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Post by michelle1985 on Feb 16, 2009 17:44:46 GMT
thank you verry much i think it will be a good thing to arm my sef with as much knolege before starting and maybe i will be half way there before i get to the cbt. im still feeling possitive that it will help my day to day life.. and no i don't think the kids will be afrade of the doctors or hospital. im sure it will all be fine the only apointmeant that worries me is the hart one on the 10th of march i just hope they say the whole has healed it self.. but no point in getting orked up over it at the momn't hope yoru ok love. and again thank you for replying it makes me feel a lot better knowing some one is about. im only sory i dont post much. i must kick my ars in to gear and give some thing back.. oh and i have an intervue on monday next week for uni and i am allready panicking so pma for this next week michelle xxxx
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Post by monica on Feb 16, 2009 22:39:49 GMT
Hello
I feel so guilty for not having posted in your diary for literally months - I'm so sorry, I just don't go on here nearly as much as I should and I tend not to have the time to follow the diary section.
Huge congrats on the birth of Joseph - he sounds beautiful. Fingers crossed foryou for the 10th March - hope all is well. Reflux is a bugger - my nephew had it badly and was much smaller and weaker until he started solids and it seemed to sort itself out. He is 2 1/2 now and big lad. By the way, what's a Nissan fundo? You mentioned you want one done now. How's Joseph doing in general? How's Emily? How's your oh?
How disappointing re: cbt. I think that's quite common though. I got an appt for counselling 2 years after getting PNI then to be told there is another year's wait for it due to staff shortages. It' sfrustrating when you feel you could benefit from something now.
Huge congratulations on geting an interview. What course do you want to do? You are fantastic doing a course - good for you girl.
All thebest
Love
Monica
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Post by winegirl on Feb 17, 2009 12:54:01 GMT
Ooh i havent been on here for a couple of days (up to my neck in it) so didnt dig that stuff out for you - but WILL do it. Hopefully i will get home later and get child to bed at a reasonable hour so will have a hunt through then.
How are you feeling today? Still on the positive side??
WG x
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Post by michelle1985 on Feb 17, 2009 22:31:02 GMT
m sat hear in fluds of tires. i have just wrote every thing i am feeling down it took ages i was posting it on the support bit and it has all gone when i tryed to post even the flaming laptop hates me and wont let me tell people how i am feeling there is just no bloody point in trying i am sick of the bloody thoughts i am having i am going to die i know i am going to die every breath every pain i no it is a step nearer death no one will beleve me but i know. there is no use in talking anymore some one is against me some one wants to sceare me i havent slepped for 2 weeks properly thinking of how it will happen will just die will it be painful will i be aloan or will it be with my family will we crash... i don't want to die but i dont want to life a life of allways thinking of deing i cant help it i try to stop the thoughts but i can't i cant sleep i cant think i dont feel happy when i look at the kids the spark has gone again out of m hart. well i guess they wont remember me when i am dead. i don't even no why i am wrighting this i don't htink i know what is wrong with me anymore i feel like the meds have stopped working i cant speeke you my husbands anymore he just says ring doc take meds what blody help is that ffs.. i am just so sceared.
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Post by monica on Feb 18, 2009 10:19:37 GMT
Hi
Please believe me this is a blip - this is not the real you talking. Wanting to die, scared of dying, catastrophising, thinking the whole world is against you are typical symptoms of pni - do try and hold on to that thought. This blips ill pass and things won't seem so bleak.
In the meantime, call the dr - sayit's urgent - get your oh to do it you can't face it. If you feel meds aren't working, it's worth discussing this with dr however, you still get blips with meds. Either way, talking to someone objective will probably make you feel better.
Men, unfortuatenly sometimes tackle issues and problems in completely different ways ot us. They tend to try and solve the issue where as maybe you need someone to listen and giv eyou sympathy. My bf is the same in this.
Sweetheart, thinking of you
Love
Monica
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Post by michelle1985 on Feb 18, 2009 15:14:53 GMT
i don't feel much better couldnt get to speek to my doctor. hubby gone to newcastle for the night to a consert so he wont be back till erle morning so i am on my own all night im sceared we the kids have gone to bed i will have too much time to think. and since i havent slepped propely for a few weeks i probebly wont be asleep.
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Post by winegirl on Feb 19, 2009 18:09:38 GMT
Hey Michelle
Sorry missed you last night - you ok?? How did you get on home alone? You feeling any better today babes???
Thinking of you x
WG xx
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Post by michelle1985 on Feb 22, 2009 21:44:58 GMT
i got on fab on my own i gave my self a bloody good talking to and i feel a lot better. still not 100% but getting there. i am a nurvouse reck right now i have my interveiw at uni tomorrow i am so sceared im sceared that i wont get in im sceared that i will brake down in the interveiw. or if i did get it i wont keep up. i ones was such a confident person i know i have dislexia but it never botherd me but now i guess im a sceardy cat. michelle
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Post by winegirl on Feb 22, 2009 21:56:44 GMT
Hi Hun
What course is the inerview for?? You will be fine. I remember when I had my interview for my nursing thinking I would die before I even got in there - and was fine. But I do remember the fear and how unwell i felt before hand! You will be fine once you are in the room I am certain..
If I can do it after 2 years of being nearly housebound - then you can too!!!
Will be thinking of you mate - GOOD LUCK!!
WG xx
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Post by michelle1985 on Feb 22, 2009 22:20:59 GMT
thank you love. im doing health and social care. wanted to d my nursing but didnt get on. but i do like the one i am going for. will wright more tomorrow
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