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Post by monica on Nov 16, 2009 23:32:21 GMT
Hey Bean
hoep you hada good day - looking forward to catchin gup soon Love
Monica
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Post by winegirl on Nov 19, 2009 19:35:33 GMT
Hows ya bird??
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Post by winegirl on Nov 25, 2009 20:22:51 GMT
Mate - I owe you a HUGE apology. I have not been good enough in getting back to you today. I have to keep my phone in a room away from the patients so was only getting your messages when I went in to check. I am so sorry. I should have kept it in my pocket if I had had a brain.
How are you doing tonight?? If you need a chat just message and I will ring.
You are strong bird, and doing great! BELIEVE in yourself a bit more!
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Post by bean on Nov 25, 2009 21:11:09 GMT
Mate you owe me no such thing so shut up. God you were at work and i shouldnt have texted you at all, i thought you would only check at lunch or home time and dont expect you to be at my beck and call, no way. In a way i was trying to distract myself by texting so i didnt freak out but i realise this is too much and it is me who should apologise to you hunni. I told you im needy didnt i? and i put too much on my friends. Im sorry mate, i know how important your work is (even if you are only crayoning !!).
Im shattered and bit stunned to be honest, like im in a shaken state of shock and feel funny inside. That de-personalisation and displacement stuff kicking in today, im not really here at all, and all the blame is on me. But please dont worry about me ill be ok. Made big shepherds pie for everyone for tea and it went down a treat, i also had some! Off for a game of distraction crap on f/b, and a cuppa now. Please please please H, never apologise for not being bloody superwoman, you cant be everywhere at once! Luv yu x
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Post by bean on Nov 30, 2009 18:29:49 GMT
Hey Need to put red cross outside the door! Rs been full of cold, Joe has cold, Daniels been off school today with tummy upset and Martha is really quite poorly, she looks terrible and is burning up but her hands and feet are freezing, shes wheezing and generally crap. Which is typical - its her second birthday tomorrow.
The wedding was fab on saturday, lovely day, everyone looked great and had a good time (mum was doing my head in - snapping at dad and bursting into tears, until i had a word with her - go into that later). Anyway ended up quite pissed, had a dance etc.
Marthas birthday is bringing lots of feelings back, of vulnerability, especially cause shes not well, keep thinking somethings gonna happen to her. Read two stories today, both of 7 year olds who were abused and raped, dont think this has helped. I want to just be happy and forget everything bad thats happened. Im sick of thnking of Him and the other Him and being afraid, and im sick of my mum putting him on a f**king pedestal and putting him first even though he's dead and we're all here alive and living. Oh my head is messed up and im feeling quite angry about things, especially as my own marriage is suffering because of these feelings, im scared stiff about everything, but most of all im scared about what im doing to myself at the moment.
Need to go be Florence Nightingbean now, bring on the calpol, hoping little martha is better tomorrow for her birthday. xx
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Post by Hopefulnot logged on Dec 1, 2009 8:12:19 GMT
Hope you both have a good day today XX
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Post by winegirl on Dec 1, 2009 14:19:42 GMT
no worries about earlier - will catch up with you again later when i get out of here xxx
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Post by monica on Dec 3, 2009 18:58:28 GMT
Hey
How is Martha? Hope she is feeling better - there are so many bugs/viruses around at the minute.
And importantly too - how ar eyou doing? You've gone tonnes to contend with at th eminute. Could you tell R how you're feeling at the minute - maybe he might lay off a bit if he's giving youa hard time.
Will be on sporadically as computer still not right even thought paid £125 to get it fixed. Not what I need before Xmas!
take care
Monica
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Post by winegirl on Dec 4, 2009 11:09:59 GMT
Hi Mate
Hows you? I am around all day today (off sick) so ring if you need to chat?
Martha any better yet?? Did you get much sleep last night??
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Post by bean guest on Dec 4, 2009 23:52:05 GMT
Hi Roys not gving me hard time its just me. Im ok x Sorry didnt pick up earlier Monica, left the phone in the bedroom and have no credit apart from texts at mo.
dont talk to me about sleep at the mo, not good, thats why i had three diazepam, felt like taking the bloody lot if it would give me sleep. xx
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Post by winegirl on Dec 5, 2009 8:20:25 GMT
And still awake at 1am!? You ok??
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Post by bean guest on Dec 7, 2009 1:22:01 GMT
:-[Not good, just burned my wrist. xx
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Post by monica on Dec 7, 2009 9:26:23 GMT
Oh sweetheart! How is the burn? How are you this am?
Love
Monica
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Post by cheshire on Dec 7, 2009 11:47:53 GMT
Hi Bean,
Thinking of you and here if you need to talk X
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winegirl not logged
Guest
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Post by winegirl not logged on Dec 7, 2009 17:15:23 GMT
I am glad you decided to stay in bed - thats why i didnt ring you this afternoon as was hoping you had slept through the day and didnt want to wake you.
I rang Hubby and asked if he could pick Isabelle up tonight so I could drive up to you until roy got home, but he has to work till 7pm. I know what it feels like to want to be on your own, but when you feel like this just having someone sitting quietly somewhere in your house can help, I am only sorry there was noone around to do that for you today, though i know you felt like you didnt want anyone around anyway.
Everything you have, your children, your husband, friends are there because of you. You are loved and wanted. Your kids are a credit to YOU, noone else. You have helped make them what they are today and should be proud of how you have raised them.
Gove yourself some slack, y0u need to start seeing what a wonderful person you are. Today was a crap day so write it off and start a fresh tomorrow.
Around all night if you need an ear x
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