3 Tortoises

[winegirl]

Three tortoises, Rodney, Derek and Gary, decide to go on picnic.
Rodney
packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches.

The trouble is that the picnic site is ten miles away. So, it takes them
ten days to get there.
When they get there Rodney unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Gary give me
the
bottle opener." "I didn't bring it," says Gary

I thought you packed it," Rodney gets worried, He turns to Derek,
"Did
you
bring the bottle opener?"

Naturally Derek didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from home
without a bottle opener.

Rodney and Derek beg Gary to go back for it. But he refuses as he
says
they will eat all the sandwiches.

After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives
that
they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees.

So Gary sets off down the road at a steady pace.

20 days pass and he still isn't back and Rodney and Derek are
starving,
but
a promise is a promise. Another 5 days and he still

isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it
any
longer so they take out a sandwich each

and just as they are about to eat it, Gary pops up from behind a rock
and shouts

I KNEW IT' ........ I'M NOT F***ING GOING!"