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Post by nicola1712 on Dec 28, 2008 20:25:49 GMT
My LO is 18 months old and over the past two weeks has turned into the moodiest child in the world it seems - throws a tantrum every five minutes.
My god, it is like dealing with mini me with PMT! Slightest thing triggers her off and she just throws herself on the floor and grimps. Sometimes it works up to a whopping tear and snot soaked session - but it is more throwing things across the room..... HELP!!
Is it quite normal for them to start this early - I thought I had anther 6 months yet........?
DH and I have tried ignoring it when it happens which works sometimes - she realise it is getting no attention and gives up. My mum distracts her with something more interesting and makes me feel bad for leaving her but I haven't got the energy to keep finding more fun things every time she does it.....am I being a bad parent?
xx
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Post by cheshire on Dec 28, 2008 20:32:12 GMT
Hi Nicola, My two were different re. this - different extents at different points. I think it is way more stressful when it's your own, and it's easy to quickly run out of energy/ inclination to deal with it. Just do what you can - you are definitely not a bad parent, you wouldn't be worrying if you were  Hopefulx |
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Post by lizcreed on Dec 29, 2008 11:25:04 GMT
Still think girls are the worst and they get more moody with age. I dont think you are a bad parent at all. I have tried the distraction thing but its hard when you are trying to do something and have to stop to get them out of it. I tend to ignore it now, when my 18 year old was about 2 I actually stepped over him in the middle of our local shops and carried on walking !!! He realised pretty quickly I was ignoring him and got up to catch me up  It is so frustrating though and I have been in tears many a time as I didnt think I was a good mum and it was my fault. You need to find something that works for you, some people can ignore others cant, try different things. Let us know if you come up with any new ideas too Liz x |
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Post by nicola1712 on Dec 29, 2008 20:01:23 GMT
Thanks ladies - she has been a bit better today and only started this evening prob once she started getting tired. DH has gone back to work so things are more routine again so maybe Xmas threw her out completely.
When she did have one earlier I moved her to where I could see her (she started in the hallway by the front door and I didn't fancy sitting there waiting - bit draughty!) and left her to it. She kicked and screamed and I got on with something else. She then stopped got up and went and found some toys to play with! I was pretty gobsmacked and impressed it worked!
I also used distraction later when I had more energy and time to focus on her and that worked but you have to time it right I think, if she is too far gone then prob best to just walk away......am learning!!
xx
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Post by littlelotty on Dec 29, 2008 20:59:04 GMT
Hi Nicola
Just wanted to add my LO turned into a little monster around 18 months and i thought i was going to lose it as i was really ill then as well but i can say you are not a bad mother - i think you are a great mother and you wouldnt be caring if you were a bad mother. Distraction is good but you are right it is draining. I have used distraction, when and then - so i say when you put your shoes on then we can go to the park and it makes such a difference! and naughty step and time out. It is the hardest job in the world i think looking after a toddler and i think every mother deserves a medal!
Take care hun
Littlelotty
xx
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Post by nicola1712 on Dec 30, 2008 11:27:27 GMT
Thanks LL - glad we will get through it!
Am hearing lots of stories of children turning into nightmares at 18 months cos of the frustration thing which is reassuring. Reassuring that it isn't anything I am doing wrong anyway.....keep asking DH if I am wrong cos I am not patient enough wth her but he agrees she is just being hard work at the moment and she has to start learning that the whole world doesn't revolve around her and that she upsets me when she is like that which is why I have to walk away until she stops.
Wow - all those lessons for us all!
xx
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Post by littlelotty on Dec 30, 2008 20:43:20 GMT
Hi Nicola
Well the last few days i could of left my LO she has been so bad - they know what buttons to press! And she normally drives me to the limit and at this age it is relentless. I often think i must be the worst mother ever cause of how i feel and that i do struggle with her but there are also many times when it is great. I went on the confident parent, confident kids course and it was great and really helped me. My hubby is going on the confident dads, confident kids course in jan so looking forward for him to doing it.
Hope your LO has given you some rest!
Littelotty
xx
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Post by winegirl on Dec 31, 2008 9:29:41 GMT
Oh yes, 18 months.. i rememebr well. Gulp. LOL
Yep, ignoring it is the only answer. Trying to plead, reason, bribe and get angry just gets you worked up too. I still do it with my LO. She has two choices, she either carrys on her tantrum while mummy does something else or she snaps out of it!
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Post by nicola1712 on Dec 31, 2008 11:54:16 GMT
He he that's what I have started saying now - ok you have your little tantrum, I am going to do xxxxx over here. She soon stops and comes over to see what i am doing.
Sorry to hear your LO is testing you too LL! I think our neighbours are having problems with their little one too - she is three, but the past few days all I have heard through the walls is her whining and crying. JShows that they have probably heard my LO recently too!
xxx
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Post by littlelotty on Jan 2, 2009 19:18:29 GMT
I think every mother must go through this and any that says they never had any i reckon is probably lying!!!
Must make us good mothers that they feel comfortable to have the trantrums!
littlelotty
xx
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Post by nicola1712 on Jan 2, 2009 20:25:34 GMT
That's a good way of thinking of it - she plays me up cos she is more comfortable around me - I will try and remember that when I am close to screaming!
xx
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Post by winegirl on Jan 2, 2009 22:05:41 GMT
The new one I have started with Isabelle is to copy her tantrum. It pees her off and gets her more stressed initially when I start screaming and throwing myself on the floor with her, but gradually she is starting to understand if I look daft - so must she!!
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Post by littlelotty on Jan 2, 2009 23:51:05 GMT
i love that WG and i can have it a couple of times and my LO laughs at me and she stops lol so it does work xxx
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Post by winegirl on Jan 3, 2009 9:20:43 GMT
My LO gets even more wound up with me but I end up finding it funny, which is better than getting stressed out!
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Post by nicola1712 on Jan 3, 2009 19:05:13 GMT
Good way of getting it out of your system too! My friend actually had the guts to do that in a supermarlet when her LO went off on one. He stopped straight away and fell about laughing and never did it again. VERY BRAVE LADY!!!
xxx
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