Sarahjanes diary

[sianyc]

Hey lovely

Has your GP suggested counselling as well as meds? Just thinking that perhaps talking about everything would be just as helpful. You can ask for counselling through your GP if you don't think they'll suggest it - worth considering if you don't want them to just keep increasing your dosage of anti-d's?

[sarahjane]

hiya sianyc,WG i am seeing a psychiatrist every 3 weeks but it isnt really helping they just reveiw me,asked me questions,write it all down and offer me more meds,they are not really helping me on the therapy side of things.Although i am having some private thearpy being arranged by my solitors due to accident in van when i was pregnant,they will also help me with my pni ect..... so that is something positive im looking forward to,it should take with in a month to be arranged. Also WG i wanted to put a pic up on my avatar on here first they facebook.thanx for all your support i love you all on here :)x x

[winegirl]

Ok hun will get you the details for photobucket. I am a bit pants but basically you upload your pic to photobucket than copy the URL into your profile where it says avatar and hey presto! When I get home in a bit I will dig uot the details for photobucket and pm you x

Hows today going mate?

[sarahjane]

hi WG,you have given me the details for photobucket before and i tryed to do it but i really didnt have a clue lol Today hasnt been to bad i went to the pharmancy earlyier to pick up my LO's special formular milk,i have to get it on prescribtion as she has allergy to dairy.Now im at home trying to settle her for bed so i can relax!! me and my OH still not getting on,ive given him the sofa to sleep on at night at the mo! lol hope you had a lovely day x x

[winegirl]

Will get in touch with teh photo thing over facebook. Should be online tomorrow evening if you are about?

[sarahjane]

hey WG,hows you? im having some problems with login in to my face book account,but my brothers really good with pc's and is going to sort it out for me,when its sorted out i will let you know when il be online on facebook. Well todays been a good day me my OH and LO went to visit my grandparents for the day,my mum was there with my little brothers,my oh has sorted his differences with my mum so it was all good! ive been having a lot of chest pain the past couple days,been having some horrible thoughts but some of them are different this time there about death,i keep getting worried when going to bed at night i had a bad dream and woke up half asleep,i actually thought for a split second that my Lo was dead!i know its stupid but i keep getting anxious at night my Lo's in her cot in her own room,i have the monitor on and normaly im ok,but past couple days ive been having scary thoughts! x x

[winegirl]

I used to be the same at LO's bed time - so I took a brave decision and threw the monitor out. It actually made me more paraniod and kept me awake more! It does get better I promise. I go to sleep at night now and sometimes my LO has been known to get up in the night after a nightmare and is basically wacking the hell out of me to try and wake me up!!

Hope you have a good weekend babes...

WG x

[sarahjane]

hiya WG,sorry for late reply my internets been playing up lately,how was your valentines day? mine was ok got some chocolates,teddybear and bottle wine from my OH,i made a nice dinner and baked a chocolate cake which didnt come out to bad! lol! i been having a blip today,drank the whole bottle wine yesterday! went to bed late and had a awful nightmare about my LO that left me feeling low for the whole day having alot of unwanted thoughts . Tamia is still grumpy with her teething,shes so funny and such a little madam shes been throwing tantrums the past couple days ,shes only 10 months lol! x x

[winegirl]

Yeah my LO started the tantrums that early too... still has them and she will be 3 soon!!

I, as you may have already guessed, so have a bit of a thing for wine. And often found that down day follows a day of lots of alcohol. The problem is we are rattling on anti deprsesants but alcohol is a depressant and counter acts against the meds... But who wants to give up a wine??

How are you doing today? Feeling any better?

WG xx

[sarahjane]

hiya,sorry havent been online for a few days,my LO has been ill,she caught one of the colds that have been going around,on tuesday night she started running very high fevers at one point it went up to 40 on thermometer i phoned hospital and they said to keep cooling her down with tempid water and i gave her calprofen which helped a bit,took her gp wednesday they said it a virus.She has been clinging to me the past few day,even slept in my bed cos she wouldnt sleep without me bless her.Ive been feeling ok just tired not had much sleep with LO being ill,the thoughts are alot less at the mo which is making me really positive! i know im getting better and stronger! hope all is good with you x x

[winegirl]

Hi Hun,

Sorry your LO has been poorly Mine always gets a raging temperature with every bug she has too. I remember taking her to the emergency docs with a 40 degree temp and he said `oh the best thing to do when they have a temp is just send them to bed. My son will often get up when he is ill with a temperature hallucinating and talking bullshit but we just send him back to bed to sleep it off!'.

So why do the medics make a fuss about us getting them seen then?? Grrr. He was a funny doc though.

Glad you are doing better babes - definately onwards and upwards I think!!

WG x

[sarahjane]

Hiya,that was definatly a funny doc very professional! Lol! My lo still ill shes full of cold and on top of that teething,she been crying most of day! I got a headache now seriously! my oh has got the cold too! So not getting much help i havent manage to come down with it yet tho.Today just been in all day looking after lo,cleaning,cooking etc... Very bored just want a glass of wine,or maybe a bottle lol! Hope all is good with you x x

[winegirl]

Have the bottle.. feed a cold and all that ! LOL

How is she doing today? Any better? A cold and teething at the same time is NASTY! Remember the sleepless nights well..

WG x

[sianyc]

How've you been lovely?

[sarahjane]

Hi wg,sianyc my lo is much better now,i havent been on here couple days,been going through alot,my relationship is terrible at the mo,my oh has had to stay away for couple days,on wednesday he hit me,he has done it in past but promised he would never do it again! He never keeps his promises i asked him to leave,now hes sorry again! Blah blah! Been feeling so low,my lo woke up crying 5 am and i was telling her to Stop! I had horrible thoughts i was crying trying to settle her,i feel so bad today,i love her but i felt so tired,angry hope u all ok x x