Sarahjanes diary

[sarahjane]

Feeling so low today having a blip! Intrusive thoughts all day,feel sick and depressed dont know whats brought this all one,so fed up of pni,when i think im getting better its always there! Just want to sleep all the time! :(x

[sarahjane]

Feeling so low today having a blip! Intrusive thoughts all day,feel sick and depressed dont know whats brought this all one,so fed up of pni,when i think im getting better its always there! Just want to sleep all the time! :(x

[sarahjane]

I keep double clicking for some reason?!

[sarahjane]

I keep double clicking for some reason?!

[winegirl]

Hey Hun

I have been feeling like this last week too. I think I may have had a wee bug, and the thing with bugs is EVERYONE gets depressed a bit when they have them. So try to rememeber that and not analyse it too much.

How has this weekend been for you? Feeling any better??

WG xx

[sarahjane]

Hiya well im having a really heavy period at the mo,feel really grumpy! Ive noticed a pattern that my blips start about 7days before im due on then when i come on it settles a bit but still have a lot of intrusive thoughts,think i should see my gp? My lo's doing so well nearly 1 now! Just wish i was free completely from pni,its wasted so much time i should have enjoyed! I hate it!aaaaaarrgh! Thats it i need to have a moan! Lol xx

[winegirl]

HI Hun

Yes, see your GP. You can get specialist treatment for PMS related disorders whereas you can be prescribed meds to simply take for those 7 days once a month on the run up to your period.

You will be free of this crap soon hun. You need to give yourself some credit as to how well you are doing! You are way down the recovery road and doing fab xx

How is today going for you hun??

WG xx

[sarahjane]

Hiya,well am off period now feeling a little bit better,last night was terrible i felt really ill again and didnt manage to sleep til 5am felt so low the ocd thoughts were awful and so frightening,i cryed to sleep today the thoughts are alot less but havent managed to get out of my pj's all day! Dont feel motivated to do much,i know its a blip but this one seems to have gone on longer. Hopefully tomorrow will be better going to take my lo to park with oh,need to get out!hope all is well with you x x

[beckah]

Aah love, huge hugs to you. If you ever get like that again, try facebook, see if i'm online, i am usually up till really late. Sometimes it just helps to have someone to talk to, especially as everything always seems much worse at that time of night, night times are so lonely if you're the only one awake.

You are doing so well though babe, you are so strong, always seeing everything so positive. Don't think to much into the fact that you stayed in your PJ's today, it's not surprising if you didn't sleep until late and everyone deserves a rest day.

Enjoy the park tomorrow. Oh and check your message inbox on facebook xxxxxxxx

[winegirl]

Yeah ditto in the FB front.. as beckah can verify, i am all up for keeping you occupied with my gay music quizes! LOL x

Hope you have a nice time at the park tomorrow. Just try to relax and enjoy it hun xx

Take Care

WG x

[sarahjane]

Hey chicks,thanks for hugs and support xxx didnt go to park yesterday felt like shit so spent another day in pj's! Went today tho it was nice to get out,but felt really anxious,took some pics of my lo on the swings they will be on facebook later on tonight,she had a nice time bless her i did get your pm beckah i sent one back did you receive it? X x x x

[winegirl]

Well done on getting out even though you didnt feel like it mate! Its hard isnt it?? I remember it well! There was a time when i would take my LO to the park (10 secs across road from me) and i would be retching with nerves over there! But the more you do it, the easier it gets until you dont even think about it anymore!

I promise these days i would much rather be out doing stuff than in!

How is your bank holiday going hun? Has the Easter Bunny been to your house??

WG x

[sarahjane]

Hey WG, i know what you mean i get so anxious when im out,when i was at the park was having alot of anxiety! Todays been ok blip seems to be alright at the mo,still not sleeping tho ......And yes the easter bunny has visited,its most likely all the chocolate thats cheered me up lol! My poor Lo couldnt have any cos of her allery so we got her a couple of little outfits and soft easter bunny for her to cuddle bless her x x x how was your easter?x x

[winegirl]

Awww bless her... TBH my lo got a coupel of eggs but we got her a little toy and a magazine instead, cant deal with the aftermath of chocolate overload!

How have things been for you the last couple of days??

WG xx

[sarahjane]

Hiya,im feeling so low,i keep thinking something is wrong with me and im not safe around my lo,im having lots of intrusive sick thoughts that are frightening me,my oh has been a complete bastard to me the past couple days,shouting at me calling me names,i know he's triggered it.When we were argueing the other day i was crying and he was calling me a mental case ect.... I had suicidle thoughts. I love my baby but im scared im going to relapse.I dont know what to do x