elle
New Member
Posts: 5
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Post by elle on Mar 13, 2009 17:30:43 GMT
Hi, My daughter is 7 months and I have been having horrible thoughts for about 2 months also my anxiety levels have rocketed with this. I have worked out that the thoughts are a symptom of OCD and have been kind of releived to realise that people don't act on these thoughts. I recently read that you can get postpartum psychosis not just days after the birth but months after. I am now terrified that the violent scary thoughts may if I become psychotic be acted on. As you can imagine I am really distressed and the thoughts have become worse since I read this. I am in on my own all night with my 2 kids and am terrified that there is any possibility I could just flip and become psychotic and do something awful to the 2 people I love more than anything in this world. Can anyone help?
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Post by cheshire on Mar 14, 2009 8:10:22 GMT
Hi Elle,
It's good that you can see where the thoughts stem from - and it is also common to worry about the onset of psychosis, many of us on here have expressed that fear. It is extremely rare though to develop psychosis months down the line - and I don't think it's something that happens quickly.
Sorry if you have sadi this elsewhere on the boards - but have you seen your GP and would you be able to tell them about these fears, as I'm sure they could reassure you.
Love, Hopefulxx
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Post by winegirl on Mar 14, 2009 9:07:12 GMT
Hi Elle
If you were suffering psychosis you wouldnt be thinking the way you do. Try not to worry. It really is VERY VERY rare.
Have you spoken to anyone about feeling like this?
WG xx
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Post by monica on Mar 14, 2009 11:11:16 GMT
hello
Just want to echo what the other girls have said. You are having horrible intrusive thoughts which are a very common symptom of PNI, however, the fact they are upsetting you and you are able to rationalise them, shows that you arent going to do them and they are not psychotic.
These thought patterns tend to be a vicious circle - you get them so you dwell on them and they get worse. If it helps, do tell what they are about. Very common ones are obsiveness re: health and dying, abusing and sexually abusing your child - someone once said to me it's as if the motherin ginstinct goes inot overdrive - it's natural to worry over your child but this worrying goes out of control and you often even see yoruself harming your child. However, it is extremely rare for wome to act on this.
Support and learning to deal with these thoughts helps hugely. My obsessions revolved arounbd illneses and dying - if someone got a cold I would see it as a horrific illness. Antids helped me hugely.
Take dcare
Monica
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elle
New Member
Posts: 5
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Post by elle on Mar 14, 2009 18:48:57 GMT
Hi, Thanks to everyone who replied. I was hit really hard with one awful intrusive thought out of the blue about 2 months ago and everything has just spiralled from there. One day something will be my obsessive worry then the next something totally different from fear of sexually molesting, then fear of killing my kids, to other horrible things. The weird thing is I analyse the thoughts so much I end up convincing myself I am capable of horrible things or even worse may actually want to do these things. The part that disturbs me most at times is the fear that deep down I may actually be the horrible person these thoughts reflect or that the thoughts are a true reflection or desire that I have. Probably if you over analyse something you can convince yourself of anything, rather than as most people do and just put it out your mind straight away. I haven't spoken to the GP yet but my husband is great and I can tell him and he understands, but I fear having a thought that is so horible I can't even tell him and I get trapped with the thought in my head with no escape from the anxiety. This site has helped me so much and I feel that there are others there that can understand, so again thanks.
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Post by winegirl on Mar 14, 2009 18:58:49 GMT
Hi Elle
It is difficult but I definately reccomend talking to your GP. He/She can put you in touch with the right people to help you get rid of the thoughts.
You are right in what you are saying about analysing them, it really makes things worse. Its hard, but the best thing to try and do is accept that you have had the thought (which is out of your control) and then move on from it without dwelling on it. I know its easier said than done but it does help tackle this thing and get over it quicker.
I am pleased you can talk to your husband about this and he is being supportive. Keep that openess up with hin mate, and thsi will all be over soon xx
Take Care
WG xx
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Post by fluffybits on Feb 25, 2010 22:10:05 GMT
Yes I'm afraid I also get these and got them last time with my pnd. Oh awful fear and dreams of going la la. It is part and parcel I'm afraid of this illness. I have said in other posts that we are going through the worst hormone and chemical inbalances and if you tell yourself this at the time you get these thoughts it really eases them. I also find when I'm in a spiral of the thoughts, I grab my bach rescue remedy and take drops on my tongue. It seems to help me out of the panic. However you are def not alone and I hope that you realise you are not going mad it is this horrible pni x
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Post by winegirl on Feb 26, 2010 10:34:03 GMT
I relied on bachs rescue remedy for a while too - it definately took the adge off things. I used the pastilles in the end though as I seemes to get more comfort from them than the drops.
Well said fluffybits, you have hit the nail on the head xx
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