Sazzy's Diary

[sazzythom]

Well thats it now theres no going back. Although i can't say i'm 100% happy my husband is and if he believes in me that much then i have to believe in myself don't i?
Still absoulutly terrified and even more so now their saying baby not growing properly. Something about my placenta not working correctly and being small for dates. And already holding nearly half a stone in water so i'm convinced that the whole waters breaking early thing is going to happen again. I never really enjoyied my last pregnancy but i'm now convinced i'm not going to enjoy this one. Maybe i'm just one of those ladies that don't bloom.

One of the main reasons i agreed to keep this baby is that my husband told me we would be ex comminicated from the church we belong to. I'm not sure this was really the best thing to say to be honest but shocked me considerably.

Another thing i have noticed that no one from our church has congratulated us. I'm wondering wether this is becuase they are thinking here we go again or whether they just don't know what to say but its really playing on my mind. Arrrrgggghhhh!!!!!

[winegirl]

Firstly, I find it really odd that your hubby would use this as a significant reason to keep your baby. And secondly, why the hell would they have to know?

I'll be honest with you, I am an atheist so my opinions are quite biased, and I try to keep my religious beliefs to myself, but even if I were a christian, I would still find it odd that a) this was an imortant reason to have a baby and b) the fact that noone has congratulated you from your congregation!

When will you hear more on how your baby is growing???

WG x

[Bookwormprincess]

Hi Sarah, I hope your faith in yourself grows each day because I think you've come through a lot so deserve a great big pat on the back!

Sorry to hear baby is not growing well, I hope the problem sort of corrects itself. Do keep us posted. I'm not really surprrised you're not enjoying this pregnancy with all that's been going on. My 2nd is easier in some ways than my first but I'm still not "enjoying" it. And it can't just be the threat of PP again because looking back I didn't really "enjoy" my first and I certainly didn't bloom. I find pregnancy really hard going what with the sickness and everything and that's without the baby having problems, like you have to deal with too.

I also find it really hard to believe a church today would ex-communicate someone, that's just crazy. What we all need is love, support and acceptance because we are all human and are trying to do the best we can in this life. We don't need judgement in that way. Has your husband got it right or is he just scared that that might happen? It's a strange argument to use to ask you to keep the baby. Very strange that no-one has congratulated you. Maybe you were right to think about moving churches!

Be kind to yourself.
Love N x

[sazzythom]

Right

I know i haven't been on here for ages but its just been chaos here. Life has a way of keeping u busy even when theres nothing to do. Where do i start. Lifes been so up and down. But i can't go back to far as baby brain has set in and i can't remember to much from uyesterday let alone 3 months ago.

I think i'll start with the day before my birthday. We were going into Birmingham to get something to eat and a movie. I was merrily driving along when a white van pulled out of the road in front of me and i ended up plowing into the side of him. I went mental. He was all calm and collected but i was just so shaken up and angry as he just hadn't thought about what he was doing. Any how. Got the car to Matt's parents who were only just up the road from where it happened and his dad took us the rest of the way into town for our meal and they would sort out the towing of the car whilst we enjoyied ourselves. Well i got through one course of the meal and started having abdo pain and i went to the loo and i was loosing blood. Well seinhg as i had hit the steering wheel on impact i started to fear the worst. Matt and i called his dad for a lift staraight away and got him to take us to the hospital. They couldn't really touch me because of all the bruising coming out so finding a heart beat was impossible. 3 Midwifes later they decided to get a obs doc to scan me. The scan showed baby was ok but part of the placenta had come loose and that was why i was bleeding. Thi shouldn't be a problem as majority of placenta still intact but still very frightening. I spent the next 2 weeks in a lot of pain and we went on holiday the week after. The holiday was a bit of a flop as i spent most of it trying to purchase new car as well as trying to sort insurance out.

Right i'm tired nowso i'll continue tomorrow.

[monica]

Great to hear from you - in fact was thnking about you not so long ago.

OMG you poor thing - that must have been so traumatic for you. I'm assuming baby is still ok? Will keep an eye out for the rest of what 's been happening in your life

Monica