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Post by stephmum on Sept 11, 2009 20:05:23 GMT
I was just thinking to myself last night how glad I am to have found this site. It has been a source of support and comfort to me. Even when I was too underconfident to post reading about others experiences really helped me.
And at the moment when on the whole I'm not feeling too bad really I am glad that I can try to support others.
Also I feel like I can be me here and say the things that worry me no matter how ridiculous they seem.
So thanks everyone - you are all great x x x
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Post by monica on Sept 13, 2009 5:35:51 GMT
Hello
Don't think I've posted in your diary before - I'm so pleased you're feeling ok. The downs are very much part of this awful illness and as horrible as they are they will get less frequent and less severe in time.
This site is trully amazing! I got PNI after my second child aI found no one really understood what I was going through until I found this site - the ladies are amazing!
Take care
Monica
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Post by sianyc on Sept 14, 2009 14:16:41 GMT
Know what you mean - this site was a real lifeline for me when I was suffering with PNI. I found it after I'd been on meds for about 6 months and just had them increased. It was so nice to be able to rant and rave and ask for advice without anyone looking at me like I was totally bonkers. There's no need to pretend you're ok here and that was the best thing I think.
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Post by juppster on Sept 15, 2009 7:26:42 GMT
Hey Sweetie...hows you? Haven't heard from you in a few days and have been thinking of you...hope Sophie's still managing to sleep through!! xx ;D
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Post by stephmum on Sept 18, 2009 19:42:21 GMT
Oh dear. I have been hibernating. I wouldn't say I feel down as such but I have incredibly anti-social. This I know is not a good sign for me but the thing is I really like being anti-social at the minute. I'm fine with Sophie and himself and I can pass myself at work but I just don't want to talk to anyone on the phone, on the net or worse still in person. Once little miss (who incidentally is sleeping 12 hours a night again ;D ;D) goes to bed I just go to bed myself and either sleep or watch a dvd. I'm not even as fantaical about cleaning.  One of my closest friends is very worried about me and keeps reminding me that this is not a good sign for me and that I should force myself to be sociable. I don't know - if becoming very insular like this has been a bad sign before does that mean it is or now or can things be over analysed too much? Do "normal" people have times when they just want to retreat into themselves for a while? Sometimes I get so tired of having to try to understand myself and monitor my every thought and feeling rather than just being.... I'm confused and a little bit fed up  |
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Post by juppster on Sept 18, 2009 20:12:43 GMT
Sorry you've been feeling a bit down the last few days honey. I know what you mean about not wanting to socialise with people, or even talk to people, either over the phone or on the net, but i don't think that should be a huge problem as everybody needs time on their own.
I guess if you know it isn't a good sign for you it may be good to set yourself a timescale of having some time just "being" and then really try to get back to seeing some friends or just chatting to a friend on the phone??
I must admit, i get these feelings quite often, and although sometimes i beat myself up about it and feel disappointed that i am not making an effort, i think its good for us to have some "time off"...not thinking about how we are feeling or how we "should be feeling" all the time...it gets too exhausting.
So glad Sophie is sleeping for so long...what bliss!! Take care of yourself honey, speak soon xx
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tears
Full member
Posts: 129
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Post by tears on Sept 18, 2009 21:01:24 GMT
Dear Steph, Hi  Just wanted to tell you that i started quetiapine and that i think its helping. Tried to send you a wee email about it but cant work out how to do it. Hope you dont mind me writing to tell you here. Thanks for all your support when i was at my worst. Im on the same dose of quetiapine as yourself as i went on holiday when i first started it and felt crap on a lower dose and remembered how much you were on so bumped mine up accordingly! I hope your wee quiet spell is simply a wee quiet spell and that you continue to feel ok. Big hugs Tears x |
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Post by monica on Sept 19, 2009 12:26:00 GMT
Hi
how are you today? I can relate to being a bit unsociable at the minute as I'm not particularly fussed about socialising and feel as if I want to be left alone. Keep an eye on things - it might be that you just want a bit of space and not necessarily a sign that things aren't well.
Take care
Monica
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Post by stephmum on Sept 19, 2009 20:28:02 GMT
You're so ight Jo it does get exhausting constantly trying to montor moods and see if I'm being "normal" . I'm sure people who haven't experienced mental illness don't spend their time analysing their thoughts - or maybe they do?! Now I'm even arguing with myself. Must be time for bed and hibernation lol
Hi Tears I am so glad the quetiapine is working well for you. Since starting it I have felt better than I have since I was about 6 months pregnant so I reckon it's the right drug for me, plus it doesn't have too many side effects for me. Keep me posted on how you're doing - writeon here anytime.
Thanks Monica - I decided today that I've had a busy few weeks hat with going back to work etc and that it is probably a normal response to want a bit of quiet and some me time. Will keep an eye on things though. From next Sunday I've got a fortnight off work (yippee!!) so think that then is the time to be pushing myself to be sociable a bit more and if I don't feel like it then I'll maybe worry a bit more
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Post by stephmum on Sept 24, 2009 20:40:26 GMT
Well am still hibernating and in true hibernation form have become obsessed with sleep. When I'm not sleeping I'm thinking about when I can next go to sleep. I feel tired all the time. Am getting a bit fed up with it to be honest. But tomorrow is my last day of work for a fortnight so time to get my hibernation and sleep obsession sorted out.
Off to bed now.....
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Post by juppster on Sept 26, 2009 7:14:10 GMT
Hey Steph...
Sorry you are struggling with tiredness at the moment...i seem to go through patches of this so think it is all part of the illness unfortunately.
I hope you manage to get through your last day at work today without feeling too sleepy!!
Have a good weekend xx
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Post by stephmum on Sept 26, 2009 20:00:39 GMT
It's funny because now that I'm on my holiday from work I don't feel as tired. I think it is partly psychological and I feel tired because i start to think of all the things I need to get and done and worry about getting it all done and going to work. Think I feel tired because I have myself convinced I will be tired if that makes any sense whatsoever??? Or maybe I'm ust very very strange indeed?
Got my appointment letter for my assessment meeting for CBT today. 12th October which doesn't suit as I will be working that day. I'll have to ring up and get it rescheduled but part of me is considering just cancelling it all together. I've really wanted this CBT for a while but now I'm thinking that I really don't know if I can face going over the whole history of events that led me to need CBT. I don't know ifI' up to all that talking and emotion. Yet if I cancel I'll not get another chance. Am starting to stress about the whole thing already
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Post by winegirl on Sept 27, 2009 8:13:54 GMT
Hi Hun
Yes CBT is tough at the beginning. But for your long term health you would never regret it. Once you have the first couple of sessions under your belt you will start to see how it will benefit you.
It is a daunting experiencing having to drag everything up again, but honestly, once through teh initial rough patch you would be so glad you did it!
Hope you are making the most of your holiday from work??
Love
WG xx
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Post by stephmum on Sept 28, 2009 19:57:58 GMT
I think that having had a few days of no work and getting to do nice things like taking little miss to the park and hearing her giggles while she's on the swings has put me in a more positive frame of mind thankfully. I will go for my CBT appointment because I know that in the long run it will be very good for me.
Have an outpatients appointment tomorrow with my psychiatrist's registrar I know it's how the system has to work but between sho and registrar's moving on this will be the third different doctor I've seen since I was discharged from hospital in July. I find it hard to talk really honestly about how I'm feeling to someone I've never met before.
So will see how it goes....
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Post by juppster on Sept 29, 2009 7:18:00 GMT
Hey Steph
Good luck with your appt today...i know how frustrating it is to keep seeing different people just as you're starting to trust and build a relationship with someone, they are gone and a complete stranger is in their place! very annoying!
I would highly recommend the CBT...i had this to help with my anxiety and although is hasn't gone completely..i can now do sooooo much more than i ever could when jack was first born, so for me, was definitely worth it. It did make me feel quite a bit worse to begin with though, but as WG says, after the first 3 or 4 session hopefully it should start to get easier.
Let us know how you go today...enjoy your time off from work, take care sweetie xx
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