My survival

[monica]

Hi

How are you doing? Hope Xmas and NY went well. Did you get any answers on the child benefit front?

Take care

Monica

[winegirl]

Yeah, how you doing mate? Recovered from the festivities?

[stevensmummy]

Chaos decends in the Grant household yet again!

I'm finding being pregnant with 3 kids under 6, rather difficult. I should have expected a difficult pregnancy, the last one was and this one is worse. I'm only 20 weeks ish and my pelvis is already starting to give way. Im warned of cruched and hip braces and in hospital to lie. Oh the joys. I like babies and kids just not being pregnant. If i could do the preg in 3m I'd be pleased as peaches!!

The boys are being difficult. I think they know I'm in pain and like to cause problems. By the end of the day my body is telling me I need to lie down and they are running riot. Whet to b&q on my own this morning with the 3 of them, stupid I know. But I've decided I hate that place, its like a maze. And I hobbled around for almost an hour for a few rolls of border and some plants and a lampshade. How useless am I!!! I intend to plant some seeds with them later today, but after their behavious I'm tempted to not do it as punnishment. Yet thats punnishment to me too as a distraction is what they need.

I have hosp app and another scan 2moro. More chaos. It means taking my mum with me as I may need blood taken and with this anaemia it makes me dizzy. It also means Dad needs to be here for the boys. It makes me feel rather incompetent and even more useless than I am already. Walking the dog is almost impossible as the carpel tunnel syndrome, makes my wrists ache and its impossible to hols her back when shes pulling. My garden needs fixing. Its huge. Moving house to a big house with a big garden seemed like a good idea 8m ago. But it means more house work and more gardening.

Michaels working very long hours again so makes it harder being on my own for 12-14hrs a day. It also mean all house work and taking care of everything lies to me. My parenst work ful time and have their own lifes. My inlaws are retired , do nothin, but hate helping. I cant win!

If I can get past the pain and chaos then life would be better. When I feel less sore its bearable. but less sore means stringer painkillers. Stronger painkillers mean more risk to baby. Whats the alternative? See how 2moros hosp app goes. Might have a miracle to help me out.

Im away to finnish decorating the bedroom, so I can draw a line under that and actually have achieved something this week. Success breeds confidence and self belief! xx

[stevensmummy]

Thanks guys for thr wishes by the way, I only got updated page after I posted. And yes tax credits did get fixed I phoned with another complaint and they said straight away that whoever I got last time was wrong. Reintorduced the cliam with opending certificate. I got a letter later saying it wa s amistake and they didnt need it Problem sloved. Thankfully! xx

[butterfly]

Hi there
Just popping by and wanted to say as a previous SPD sufferer who also had painful pregnancies you have sympathy and understanding from me. How your managing with all your kids and home! It must be so hard. But you'll get through it!
Take care
Bf x

[juppster]

Hey stevensmummy
So lovely to hear from you although wish you were feeling better!
Firstly, you are not useless...you are having a very difficult pregnancy and have 3 children under 6 to cope with...any woman would be sinking in your shoes! What with your hubby working long hours too you need to pull on the all the help you can get...try not to feel guilty for taking it...think about it as if you had a friend in your situation, what would you be telling her to do?!
How did the scan go today honey? Hope the blood test was manageable if you had to have one done x

[stevensmummy]

Hi guys,

Thankyou for the wishes. It is hell with SPD I had last time but not this early or this bad. Its my own fault for not giving myself time to recover from the last 3 pregs. I do take the help I get. But the issue is I get so little help. My inlaws are a disaster. I need to get michael to talk with them and tell them I need more help. Ive been having braxton hicks already. the hosp today said its stress and over doing it. And I need to take it easy or face being in hosp to 'lie' as the call it. I think I need more help, Im going to have to swallow my pride and take it.

The scan went well today. Everything is fine. I had a raised AFP but all was normal. I didnt get to see a consultant as they were wanting me back again. And it was late by the time they had got the baby to sit nicely for the scan lol.

Im exhausted after all todays rushing around. Im going to head to bed now. Goodnight , Sarah xx

[Weeble]

Hi Sm

I had two kids and hardly survived my third pregnancy so not surprised it's so hard for you. Do you have home start in your area? They will provide you with a volunteer who will come round and help for a couple of hours a week. I use mine to either let my oh get out or so I can have sleep, one of my friends uses hers for a long bath. You can self refer or your health visitor can refer you.

Don't be worried about asking for help, it's a sign of strength that you can ask.

Kat

[juppster]

Hi Sarah
Glad the scan went well for you yesterday. Im sure you must have felt exhausted afterwards. May well be worth looking into the home start volunteer? I guess any help you can get at the moment would be good. How has your day been today? x

[monica]

hi

huge congrats on pregnancy. You are going thru the mill. must be hard with 3 young boys no doubt full of energy. my advice is to swallow your pride and get as much help as you can. sod the cleaning and do bare minimum. Could you pay someone to come andhelp u clean. i know its an extra expense but might help u out for a few months.

So pleased your scan went well

Monica

[stevensmummy]

Hi Guys,

We do have homestart here. I have had a volunteer before. But she gave up and I never replaced her. The kids loved her and we only kept her as it was habit. But now I supose it would be helpful again. But the issue being I'm not home long enough to get one in. Its only a few hors but with nursery and school etc I am home and away again 3 time a day. Its a lot of travelling about as we live in the country and dont get a bus as its not our local school. Long story, but basically my son would have been the only boy, of 3 p1's in a small school and I chose the larger village school but it means self transport. Subsequently the nursery follows suit.

I'm going to get my OH to talk with my mum in law and see if she can even come 2x a week and give me a hand, or even let me lie down for a few hours. Right now my body is aching. I spoke to the pharmacist today and she says I cant take my tabs in the last 6 weeks of preg and should try to take as little as possible just now. But without them I'm in agony. I feel my pubic bones grinding together and the bones in my hips are cracking and creaking. Its the pains in my legs that get me, thro the day the numbness and cramping. It makes doing simple things with the kids difficult.

I have considered a cleaner. My MIL is actually a cleaner so i thought we'd just get her in. Well try it anyway lol. No guarantees we actually manage to get on but I think I can bite my tongue!

I'm going to get a doc app 2moro. I need to see them about all these cramps and what not. my midwife isnt till week after next so better try to see the doc and before i know it, it'll be friday again!

Thanks for the wishes guy, ure all so lovely xxx

[stevensmummy]

I called the doc. And landed up with him saying that he'd have advised i go into hospital. I've been having braxton hicks already. He says its not uncommon in painful pregs and that its the pain causing stress/irritation in my uteris. I stressed I didnt want to go. That the baby was fine. I'd just had a scan on monday. They were happy with it. And I really didnt have the time to go, it was about to be weekend and I had no childcare. He seen my point but stressed that I must take painkillers. I need to find the balance between being painfree and hurting myself and being in pain that it irritates my uteris. Right now, I'm cramping again. Im sore already and think I'll go take painkillers in a min. I think a hospital visit is inevitable but I'm going to hold it off as long as possible. Im afraid they keep me in for a few days. I dont have the time for that.

I have been sittin on my arse as people keep telling me to lol. I find it really hard as I keep thinking of everything that needs done. I'm also going to pack a bag for the hospital. I think its inevitable i will have to go in, at least if i have an overnight bag packed i dont need to stress about that too.

I was mistaken about the midwife its 2 weeks on Tue. A little longer than I expected. I'm going to try to make it to then without any problems!

I'm away to relax for mothers day and watchthe touring cars. Then I've to decorate a cake for the mother in law and bake one for my mum. But i'll make the most of my hour before the boys come home for lunch!

Sarah x

[juppster]

Good on you for sitting on your arse!! especially today of all days. You do sound as though you're suffering though honey so sending you lots of hugs.
Hoping the pain eases up for you with the painkillers and you manage to battle through the next few weeks until you see your midwife xx

[stevensmummy]

Thankyou, its just a case of keeping going I think. I'll get there! eventually lol

I was worrying today about the prospect of the baby being born or induced early coz I'm so sore. The thought of it being in the special unit. The fuss of running back and forth about 30 miles everyday. The stress and worry. The issues with the other kids. Its enought to make me sit down and take it easy. My frriend was round today. Her baby died at 10days. She was in the unit, then home for a day and died. They said cot death but she is convinced she should never have been allowed home. I was talking to her about it, shes so amazing considering what happened. That was 3 1/2 years ago now and shes since had 2 other kids. She was telling me what its liek, reassuring me, saying it could land in the unit full term, like her daughter did. So not to worry. Apparently full term is 37 onwards, I alwasy thought 28, but we have abirth unit here, which has no neonatal etc and they take full term only, which is 37 onwards for them. A friend of ours is going there thats how we knew. Its stressful, thinking of all this. I've been lucky to have 3 healthy boys with the only issue being jaundice and under the lights. And a perianal sinus op at 3 weeks but other than that it was all ok. I'm lucky really.

I'm going to relax in a bath. I keep having this nesting instinct as they call it. Wanting to sort everything so I'm going to refrain from rearranging the kitchen cupboard and go for a bath instead lol. What an althernative!

xx

[monica]

Hi

Hope your bath relxed you. It must be incredibly frustrating for you knowing there is an endless to do list but knowing you can't/shouldn't be doing it all. Did you oh speak to his parents?

Btw are you having any physio? One of my friends had spd very badly and had physio for it and was given a belt thingy to wear which a bit uncomfortable, but gave her support. You really should be referred as i believe it can make a difference.

Fingers crossed you go full term. Could they induce you at 37 weeks if the pain is bad for you? I know you hate the idea of going into hospital but I'm sure things would be fine at home and you would get the much needed rest.

I dont' know how you would feel about this but sometimes colleges which run childcare courses will offer placements to families so you can get help and the student can get work experience. might be worth looking into. my friend had a girl who helped out (my frined had a 2 yrld adn baby twins) and it made a difference. they went on to use the girl as babysitter.

Take it easyx