Vikki's Pregnancy Diary

[Vikki]

So here we are again, scary, exciting, and happening!

I have been with my new partner for almost 3 years and it's happened. About a week or so ago I started feeling odd. Not ill, just odd. Hmmm I wonder? I tested and tested and tested until Saturday morning - POSITIVE.

The emotions were overwhelming, I can't beleive this happening. Oh half feels the same way... we are having a baby.

We sat down and had a big chat about what happened last time (he did know beforehand) and what we woucld do to minimse the risk.

I toddled down to the GP and discussed my concerns with him. He has referred me to the peri natal team straight away. This is a great thing, he is also going to check in with me at 12 weeks and periodically from then on. I feel so more positive. I want to enjoy this pregnancy and baby. I feel sad that pni robbed me of this with my last baby and I don't remember big chunks of her early life.

With a supportive partner and a support structure beginning to take place, things could be really different this time. I know that if I do get it, thAt I WILL get better.

I am hoping that keeping a diary will help me to keep myself in check and notice anything untoward. I am also hoping that if all goes well it will help others know that you can have another baby after suffering PNI, no matter how badly you suffered with it.

The baby is due 23 September 2010, let the countdown commence!

[winegirl]

Hi again Vikki

I have already posted in your other thread, but just wanted to comment on how positive you have started your diary! What a great way to start your pregnancy! It is fabulous that you have the refferal to the perinatal team, should you need them. I really do wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

Looking forward to keeping up with your countdown!

Take Care

WG xx

[monica]

Huge congratulations on yoru pregnancy.

I stronglybelieve forewarned is forearmed and you can try to minimise the risks of pni and if (and that's a big if) it does return it can be nipped in the bud before things escalate.

I had pni with child no2 so was really worried about getting it again and largely I think I haven't had it with child no.3. Yes, I 've had periods when feeling low but it is really hard work.

Your oh sounds lovely and so supportive! That makes a huge difference

All thebest

Monica

[Vikki]

I am only just pregnant, but the general ickyness is already happening. I'm exhausted, frizzy hair, bad skin, nausea and I appear to have lost the use of my brain.

I woke up crying this morning, no idea why, just really weepy. I could tell OH was worried, and he has phoned a lot today. I went shopping to cheer myself up, but just ended up wandering.

Feel a bit better now, but I think I will have a catnap for a bit and relax.

OH is taking over all cooking duties this weekend and as my kids are with their dad this weekend and his son will prob be away too, we can try and have a relaxing weekend.

Will keep an eye and make sure I don't start slipping. OH is on strict instructions to march me to the GP if I start doing anything odd!

Vikki x

[winegirl]

Hi Vikki

Sounds like you have the right plan in mind for this weekend to level you out about, especially if you are feeling icky already! If in doubt, sleep. I think it helps.

I hope you and your OH have a lovely relaxing weekend hun xx

Take Care

WG xx

[Vikki]

I have my first appointment with the peri natal psych on Monday, I have also been referred to a specialist midwife. Still feeling a bit odd, but keep telling myself it's just a normal pregnancy thing. It is the same psych I saw last time, I will tell him about it all even so.

Feeling quite positive, only thing is I am wandering if I could be a bit further along than I think, none of my clothes fit and I have a disticntly rounded tummy, OH keeps joking it is twins as he had a dream I had two little red headed girls and thinks it is a premonition.

We will have to wait and see for the dating scan!

[winegirl]

How mant weeks do you think you should be Vikki??

[Vikki]

I think I should be about 5 and a half weeks. I also think the GP got the edd wrong, it should be 21st Sept. Not that 2 days makes a huge amount of difference. My tummy is Huuuuuuuuge, maybe as this is baby number 4 my body just knows how to be pregnant!

Bled a little bit last night and this morning, i'm not panicking, just keeping an eye on it. Will see someone if it gets any worse.

[winegirl]

My friend is preganant with her 4th and tells me that she is much bigger this time round, she said everything yuo have said about it! I think you may have a point about your body knowing how to pregnant!

I hope the bleeding has stayed away today and you are doing ok x

WG xx

[Vikki]

I have a uti, that is what caused the bleeding, so no majot panic thank goodness.

The appointment with the psych went really well, we have agreed although my risk is higher, my new situation minimises this a bit. We have still agreed that I will start on anti depressants after I have passed 12 weeks. I will take prozac again. He went through all the studies of harm to unborn babies due to anti d's and I think this is the best approach. There is a risk with prozac in the first 12 weeks of heart damage, but as the heart is fully formed after this time there should be no risk after 12 weeks. There could be slight withdrawal from the baby after it is born, but he said it would not be painful, just a bit more sleepy and maybe some issues feeding. We discussed it at length with Oh and the psych and we think it is better to try and and avpoid getting ill despite these risks.

i'm feeling really positive, even though the morning sickness has ramped up somewhat!

[winegirl]

How refreshing that a doctor should give you such detailed information as opposed to just advising you to take the pills with no real explanation! There should be more like that about!

Glad you are feeling more positive about things..

Have you got yoyr fist scan booked yet?

xx

[sianyc]

You GP sounds good Vikki!

[Vikki]

Had a bit of a nightmare. Have been in hospital with renal colic. Thought it might be ectopic or an appendicitis, which thankfully it was neither. Still in agony, but thankfully home from hospital. On the positive side we got to see the baby, absolutely tiny but with a really good strong heartbeat.

Had to tell my parents earlier than expected. My mum freaked out and told me to get rid of it seeing as I was in hospital already, but now she has calmed down she has said it was just a knee jerk reaction. I know they just don't want me to get ill again.

Just want the pain to go away now, have lost tonnes of weight as I haven't been able to eat or sleep.

Maybe I will wake up and it will have gone?? Here's hoping!

Vikki x

[winegirl]

So sorry you have been so poorly Vikki, but great that you are back home. Rest up and look after yourself and beany and I really hope you are over this soon x

Love and Strength

WG x

[Vikki]

Feel like i'm having a meltdown, been back to the doctors today as the pain is still bad, he thinks it could be muscular-skeletol which was not what I wanted to hear, but at least he gave me some stronger painkillers. Have been in tears most of the day, OH has a course tomorrow so is staying in a hotel tonight, and I am freaking out a bit without him here. Doctor wanted to sign me off, but I am worried if I stay off work any longer I will lose my job.

Not feeling well at all, I think the lack of sleep maybe catching up with me.

Feeling a bit pathetic really