Mnfmums Diary

[Victoria]

Hi mnfmum, no I havnt drunk alcohol on my meds. I am not a drinker anyway as I was married to an alcoholic, so that has kind of put me off it altogether for a long time. I was told that it makes the effects of the alcohol hit you a lot quicker, and as it would hit me quickly anyway being a lightweight drinker lol, one sip could send me under the table lol. xxx

[mnfmum]

Hi FSG

I can more than understand your experiences putting you off for a long time, goodness. I suspect that I too would be laid flat out if I was to have any wine but feel it may do me good to have a tiny bit sometimes to help me relax a bit, I just don't feel to have much outlet.

Butterfly I think you are more than right to have an odd glass of wine if you fancy it, why the hell not if it helps at the end of the day?

I shall carry on mulling it over, apparently alcohol doesn't react with my meds (sertraline and propranolol but up to press haven't dared try it.

Ta ta for now!

xxxxx

[Victoria]

If it isnt supposed to react then go for it. Try just a very small amount and see how you go. Once in a while, as you say, why not. xxx

[Weeble]

HI Mnfmum

Both my OH and I have had small amounts of alcohol on our meds and neither of us have had any problems, despite me rarely drinking. A couple of nights ago I had half a glass of wine and he had a small bottle of beer no probs. I think it is all about moderation from my OH's experience. I have only tried it about four times as I am pregnant.

Any other news?

Kat

[mnfmum]

Hi Kat

Thanks so much for your advice, I might just be brave and give it a go. I don't drink that much in my 'normal' state though we had a dreadful end of 2008/start to 2009 and I did develop quite a tolerance to wine.

I saw my GP on Monday evening, she didn't want to increase my medication but said I must stay on it for at least another 3 months. She didn't want to start me on any treatment for my gastro problem which I understand as when I go for my endoscopy and flex sig I have to be in my untreated state so as not to sway the results. That said, after not being too bad I have had a dreadful couple of days with it and if I'm honest I'm concerned as to what it might be. I went for what turned out to be my last counselling appt today, last week was ok but I just don't think I would ever have gelled with the lady who was looking after me, it has made me think though about various aspects of my whole life and how they have coloured my existence up to this point. What I really need is CBT, not the computerised version I've been doing through the Healthy Minds Team but the one-to-one version I've been waiting bloody 14 weeks for!

Sorry to go on, the positives are that I have been working on getting along with my hubbie better, being more mindful of him and respectful and trying not to have crap attitude with him, I've not been doing too badly. The children are wonderful and if anything has come out of all this it is the fact that I appreciate them so so much and have such a bond with my son bourne out of the desperation I think i felt when unable to care for him after my op, I don't know the proper reason but i think this may be it.

Have you managed to have any better days? I have been thinking about you a lot, wish I could just come and knock on your door and give you a great big hug! Take care.

xxxxx

[Weeble]

Hi Mnfmum

you are welcome. Your GP is right about three months, however, the evidence suggests that a year is the best way to prevent a relapse. So dont be too quick to jump. 14 weeks is a long time to wait for treatment, so much for all this rubbish about postnatal depression being prioritised.

That is really positive all your good news, I find my children wonderful too. I was asked today what I enjoyed and a said I have shards of happiness mostly about my children, like when they were both smiling and jumping on me in the bath the other day or when I walked my eldest son to school this morning and we played together the whole way.

I am having periods of time where things are not to bad, but increasingly scared of the world and next week. Thank you for your virtual hugs its lovely.

Fingers crossed on that CBT

Kat

[mnfmum]

Hi Kat

I know what you're saying about being too quick too jump, it would be al too easy to feel a glimmer of being better or getting there, think its the drugs that make me feel worse, come off them or reduce them and come unstuck, I will be very careful!.

Im so sorry that you are having to go through so much and can appreciate how you are feeling about next week, you are doing amazingly well though and you are so near to being able to get on your proper treatment regime, then in time your shards of happiness will be great big chunks of the stuff, I just know they will. You are a phenomenal lady, so strong.

Oh the flaming CBT, I'm not holding my breath but will go if it ever does come up, I think it could help me with things I've just got on with for a lot of years, maybe most of my life. I'm on work tommorow on a keeping in touch day, I feel guilty for looking forward to it but why shouldn't I, hubbie has the children, they will have a great time so why am I anxious about them?!? Thats half my problem there I'm guilty about everything I do, something else to work on then!!!

Speak again soon

Lots of love
xxxxx

[Victoria]

Hi 14 weeks is crap. I am the same, on the never ending waiting list. Need it now, but there is no sign of getting to the top of the list as yet. The guilt is something I suffer terribly from. I feel guilty for being ill, I feel guilty cos our house is crap and every job turns into a problem (dont know how it is my fault but I feel bad about it!!), I feel guilty that we are short of money, guilty if the kids cant do something cos we have no money, guilty if I want to do something for me even though hubby encourages it........the list is never ending. It must be a normal thing. Dont give up with the meds, I feel that mine are not working as they should, but everyone tells me it takes time and we have to be patient even though that is so hard when feeling so rubbish. Glad you are managing to try and work on your relationship, I guess we forget to work at that when we feel so bad. Just wanted to say, thinking of you all even if I dont comment too much. xxx

[Weeble]

HI Mnfmum

sorry I have not replied for a few days, the CBT will help, I have seen it with my OH, even though I knew a lot of it before, I still keep a book close by and grab it when I am really struggling. Thanks for the lovely support it makes a difference to read it.

How did the work day go, dont feel guilty for enjoying it, I struggled to balance work and home always feeling guilty about the other until the latest bout of PNI and now I am just relieved to go to work and feel more normal.

Guilt is a mothers burden as far as I can work out, I now exactly what you and FSG mean. I enjoy ten mins play with my son today and then felt guilty that i did not do it more.

Hope you had a good weekend and look forward to hearing from you

Kat

[mnfmum]

Hi ladies!

Sorry I have fallen off the map for a bit, it's been a srange one!

I seem to have been stuck in a cycle of being really busy with allsorts of stuff with the children and Amelia getting settled into school, getting used to that routine, doing my keeping in touch days at work (which I have loved) and hubbie being on lates for 2 weeks. I have been feeling generally better then all of a sudden worse again but realise this is the nature of the beast!!!

I have done 2 CBT sessions and think it will help more than the counselling did, plus the lady is really nice which defo helps. off to the computerised CBT thing I started whilst waiting for actual CBT shortly, my feeling is the more I can learn to help myself for the future the better!. For those of you who have a childrens centre near you but haven't accessed it, please give it a go, ours is a wonderful place.

I have been looking at everyones posts and thinking of you all, just always seemed to have a distraction stopping me staying on long enough to say anything worth saying so I apologise and will be around more. Got to go now but will speak very soon.

Lots of love to you all

xxxxx

[Victoria]

Hi nice to hear from you. Glad the CBT looks like it is going to be a help to you. I am gonna go to our childrens centre when I get chance, we have one on the kids school site and I am there every day so really should go in and c what they do. Glad you hear you are having good days and keeping busy, this horrible illness is full of ups and downs, with our aim being more ups than downs. Keep going.

Stacey xxx

[mnfmum]

Hi Stacey

I would say if your Children's Centre is anything like ours it is soooo worth going to, its nearly been a lifesaver to me. they run courses, have a great play and stay group and loan out toy sacks. The family support workers work out of there and they had some fab activities there during the summer holidays that I took Amelia to. All in all they are a great source of information and support and I have met some lovely ladies there.

If you go you must ket me know how you go on. I hope that you are doing better, take care.

Lots of love Vicki x

[Weeble]

Hi mnfmum

Great to see you back. Saw you had been through a lot. It's really positive you have been busy. Agree I love my kit days not done any for this mat leave yet but did them with the last one. I noticed the psychs are always surprised but quite a lot of the girls on here enjoy work. Have you got anything nice planned for the weekend the weather is great.

Kat

[juppster]

Hi Vicki
Lovely to hear from you and being so positive too...can you send some down the line please!! Hope it continues for you mate, speak soon x

[Victoria]

Hi, not been to the childrens centre yet but will let you know how we get on when we do. Yours sounds a great help to you. How are you doing today? xxx