Worried

[olivia31]

Hi
I'm new to this and I'm not even sure if I have PNI or am just a bit down. I had a traumatic birth and have had a lot of health problems ever since resulting in quite a lot if pain . I can't really do the things I would like to do such a showing out shopping or going for long walks as it gives me severe back pain. I am waiting to see a specialist in a few weeks.
I have had four episodes where I have gone hot and my heart has started racing followed by panic and dizziness. The first time thus happened I called an ambulance as I was so scared as me and nah son were alone and I thought I was going to pass out. They checked me over and said I was ok and needed to see my gp. My gp was rubbish nod said I had an infection and gave me antibiotics since then I have gas three more episodes so I went back to see him and said need to check thyroid and for celiac disease but I am unsure the bloods will show either of these things. I am now struggling to sleep at night and have had some thoughts that are scaring me a little bit. I feeling edge and my chest feels tight constantly and I don't feel as close to my son as I did a week ago he is 18 weeks old and I love him so much but for some reason have become nervous of being on my own with him .
I wish the week away just desperate for it to get to Friday when my partner is home.
I don't have any support really I lost my nan whilst pregnant and my grandad a couple if months ago, my mom works full time and my partners mom is in ill health. I am unsure if PNI is what I have or whether it is anxiety. Sorry for going on but just needed to get if all off my chest I am do scared if when the next panic attack might strike and just don't know what to do !!

[monica]

Hello and welcome

From reading your post it certainly sounds as if you are suffering from symptoms commonly associated with pni. There can be many triggers but you said u had a traumatic birth and that is a common one. Being a mum can be a difficult - it can be quite isolating and no matter how much you love ur little one doing the baby stuff can be monotonous .

Regarding your symptoms the racing heart, breathlessness sounds like panic attacks. They can be incredibly scary and can feel like youre having a heart attack. what it is though is the flight or fight response kicking. something triggers this response although it might not be obvious.

The inability to sleep, feeling low, tiredness are also other symptoms. We're not medically qualified here so it's good ur gp is investigating any physical symptoms.

So pleased you've been to your dr. How have u found him/her? Maybe mention ur other symptoms? If u feel they are not great try to find another one in ur practise who is sympathetic.

You don't have to feel this way and will recover. Counselling can be very good in helping you recover. Would you consider this.

Do come back to us. The ladies here really understand and can support you. Perhaps you'd find it beneficial to start a diary ( in diary section) to offload and keep track of how ur feeling.

Monica

[sarajay28]

Hi Olivia

Firstly welcome to the site, it's a lovely place and there's lots of helpful and friendly advice. It certainly sounds like you could be experiencing pni but also anxiety. I have had both, and do still suffer anxiety. Well done for seeing your gp I'm sorry though this hasn't been as helpful as you'd like, this is quite common. Is there another gp you could see? Do you have a regular health visitor? If so do you think you could talk to her? I've always found one of the most helpful things was coming here to talk, it really does help just knowing that you aren't alone. I'd also like to say on your panic attacks (I've had these too) you are quite safe, nothing bad will happen to you, it's just your body over producing adrenalin that gives you the symptoms. I know they are very scary but try to breathe through them. Have you tried any relaxation techniques? Please do come back and talk some more about how you are feeling.

Take care

Sarah x

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[olivia31]

Thankyou both for your responses it certainly helps tone able to put my thoughts down here. I am going back to see another doctor this afternoon. She is a new doctor do I am hoping she will help me. With regards to my health visitor she is not the best,she seems to find anything to do with feelings hard to discuss. I will see what the doctor says later fingers crossed x

[sarajay28]

That's great your are seeing another Dr. Do come back and tell us how you get on (if you want to that is) it's a shame your health visitor isn't much help I think they are a hit or a miss unfortunately :-( like Monica suggested maybe it would help to start a diary here? It definitely helps you to define the good days and bad and it's amazing when you look back at the progress people have made. Hope to hear from you soon x

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[olivia31]

So I've been to the doctors and she has prescribed me citalopram but I have just been reading through all of the side effects and am unsure if I want to take them. Has anyone else took these anti depressants before ? X

[sarajay28]

Hi Olivia,

That's great you got taken seriously at the Dr's. What is it that's scaring you about taking this medication? The side effects are listed as these are things that could happen, it doesn't mean you will get any or all of them. There are lots of women that have taken them, many women on here too that could maybe share there own experiences with you. Try and remember that ALL drugs have some side effects but not everyone experiences these so try not to panic. Why not give them a try and see how you go? X

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[olivia31]

I went on net mums which was a big mistake as everyone on their had had terrible side effects such as suicidal thoughts, jaw lock, loss of emotion to name but a few. I think I will see his I go over the next few days and might start taking them at the weekend when my partner will be around as I am terrified the panic attacks may get worse

[monica]

Hi

I took citslopram and it worked wonders for me. I did feel rough for the first 2-3 weeks (it's normal to feel worse initially) then the anxiety slowly started to lift as did most of my physical symptoms. Did gp mention counselling? That can complement meds v well.

The side effect blurb is scary but most people are ok. Keep an eye on urself - if side effects are intolerable contact ur drx

[sarajay28]

Oh dear reading posts on netmums always scares me to death too!! I understand your concerns though and think your idea of starting them when your partner is around is a good one. Was going to ask the same as Monica about counselling, did the gp mention that or any other ideas to help you get through this? X

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[juppster]

Hi and welcome from me too! I took citalopram for a while and didn't suffer any adverse affects, as the others have said, they write down all these side effects to cover themselves....quite often the benefits of the medication far outweigh the side effects. Have you also considered some cbt? This can really help to work on your thoughts too xx

[olivia31]

Hi

Thanks for your comment no CBT isn't something I've really thought about not sure.about it. I felt ok most of yesterday but have woken up in the night thinking should I have had a baby and do I want him this is so horrible because I love him so much and I don't know where these sort of feelings have suddenly come from I keep on thinking what if I hurt him and it naked me do sad I know I never would. A week or so ago I would never of believed I could feel like this will these feelings go away ? I'm worried they are going to bring on another panic attack feeling very anxious :0(

[juppster]

Hey, yes, they will go away but with help....talking therapies/cbt are amazing for that sort of thing. The thing to keep reminding yourself of is the fact that even having these thoughts is making you so distressed, therefore you wouldn't ever act on them. Keep talking xx

[monica]

These type if doubting thoughts are very common with pni so try to remember that when one pops into your head. Pni also Knicks your confidence hugely so once upon a time if a thought like this popped into your mind you would dismiss it instantly now it makes you doubt yourself.

You are a wonderful living and caring mumx

[Weeble]

Hi. Think of the thoughts as punishment thoughts not real wishes. a well brain thinks all sorts.of thoughts all the time. But we are used to ignoring them
Some of this random things that pop out are actually our worse fears. After.we have babies we are vunerable and anxious for our child's safety. 50000 years ago this fear would.have been an evolutionary advantage as.mothers.that thought these thoughts probably protected their.babies better. Problem is in the.modern world.babies.are.very safe.so.our brains get a little out of control and.we.get obsessed about these thoughts...don't worry what you describe is really common.and.quite normal. As Monica.says.you are a great mum

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