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Post by psychmom on Oct 26, 2015 8:13:18 GMT
Oh and since I'm still breastfeeding, I don't think I can do anything about the estrogen/progesterone issue if there is one. I still haven't gotten my period back and the night sweats are still awful so I do think that's a component
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Post by monica on Oct 26, 2015 17:27:03 GMT
Hi
How's your day been? Blips are like that especially early on - they feel as if you're back to square one and it's easy to lose hope. It sounds as if yours might have been triggered by tiredness - try to rest and treat yourself with kid gloves ( not easy with lo s to look after I know ). It will passx
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Post by psychmom on Oct 26, 2015 21:51:13 GMT
I had a hard morning feeling pretty scared but then I went to a friends house for lunch and I ended up feeling fine. And the rest of the afternoon I felt fine and could even think of other things. I'm trying not to overanalyze why. But it is perplexing to me and makes me feel at one moment like I'm fine and those thoughts were crazy and then the next the terror is back. So I either am freaked out or I'm questioning if I'm delusional! Please tell me this is normal? I've never experienced anything like this before. Sometimes my brain actually hurts trying to figure it out. I think though that I'm probably better off to stop trying so hard to understand it and instead just try not to trust the scary thoughts when they're there.
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Post by monica on Oct 27, 2015 7:47:38 GMT
This is completely normal - feeling really anxious/scared one minute then fine the next . It's positive and sign of recovery that you can break through that barrier fairly quickly and that in spite of a difficult morning your afternoon went well. The difficult parts will get easier over time .
It's very difficult to pinpoint the cause of this emotional roller coaster ride. Often ladies find mornings tougher - not sure why . Sometimes there are obvious triggers for the anxiety - tiredness, pmt, specific events - at other times you can just get this uncomfortable feeling seemingly out of the blue (although there probably is a reason ).
Try not to think about it and just 'go with the flow' - saying that I know it's not easy to do that x
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Post by psychmom on Oct 27, 2015 16:49:36 GMT
Thank you so much. I was able to distract pretty well last night I think. Yoga really helps. Today I've been on my own though so my thoughts are doing their thing. Now I'm worried that if I worry about the panic attacks coming on, I'll create them, even though so far that hasn't happened. After your recovery, did you worry about the anxiety coming back but find that you were still okay? I'm certainly not in the recovery zone myself yet but it would be helpful to know that my thoughts don't have so much power. I mean, the clinician in me can see that this is a standard OCD thought (that somehow thinking something makes it more likely to happen) but it's hard with anxiety bc it can bring on the anxiety I'm fearing. I'm trying to remind myself that there's a difference between anxiety and panic though and even if I have panic, it won't last forever (even if I keep having the thoughts over and over) and that it doesn't have to limit my life. Ugh. I just hate how caught up I get. But being alone with my daughter all day with little to distract certainly doesn't help!!
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Post by monica on Oct 29, 2015 11:29:07 GMT
Hi how are you? How did you get through the day? Being alone with your daughter can be anxiety provoking. If u feel such instances overwhelming break the day into chunks and don't look too far ahead. Try and keep yourself distracted and most importantly congratulate yourself for getting through it even if its tough.
The fear is hard to combat and takes time. I found pni quite a traumatic experience and even post recovery I would worry about getting it or not recovering . But this is normal and in time you get over that. Really try not to overthink - I know that can be hard and I'm guilty of it at times even now ( wrre all human). !
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Post by psychmom on Oct 29, 2015 12:59:21 GMT
Thank you Monica. You know things feel like they're improving. I went to my friend's house for lunch yesterday and actually had a good time even though I was really anxious driving there. And during it the thought would come up and I'd be so upset that I even had it. But I didn't have a panic attack and I did get distracted so that was good. I find I'm still scared to do anything but when I do it it tends to be turning out well. It's helpful to hear you had fears of the thoughts and feelings returning as well and they didn't. I keep having this intrusive thought that I'll create these issues for myself and never work again or be able to enjoy my life. As my mood improves though I do think I believe it slightly less. I hope so anyway. But I'm also trying to see this as slow. And that if there's any improvement, that's a lovely thing and there will be back and forth. I do think if I could fully believe this was pni, then I could let myself a bit off the hook. I think part of my challenge is I've had panic attacks in the past and thought I had been handling them well but now wonder if this is just me failing at doing so. I also tend to be a bit hypochondriacal so I question if I just believe I have this and that's why I'm suffering. But then I think, how can I see this as pni in all my friends who are also struggling with new babies but for some reason it's not the case with me? That doesn't seem to make sense, right? Hopefully over time I'll stop thinking about panicking so much!!
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Post by psychmom on Oct 31, 2015 17:55:37 GMT
Argh, a couple of good days and then this morning I got all scared again. We had people over for a play date and I felt anxious during it and upset with myself for feeling anxious. Then we have company later tonight as well so I guess I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed. But I don't want our lives to change just bc of my anxiety
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Post by monica on Nov 1, 2015 8:46:59 GMT
Hi
How did last night go? You are superwoman - not one but two dos!
Reading your last post made me think of my own blips and how they made me feel. I think blips feel doubly worse once you've had good spells. You've seen the light at the end of the tunnel then it's cruelly snatched away . It's also frightening as it can make you feel you'll never get through pni and incredibly frustrating as you've had a taste of feeling good . However blips are normal in recovery and a sign you're getting better. From what you've said they're comparatively short lasting ( I know that doesn't diminish the fact they're hard to deal with) so you're coming out of them.
Hugs today's a new day xx
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Post by psychmom on Nov 1, 2015 10:51:45 GMT
Thank you! Last night was ended up being okay actually. I gave myself a break in terms of going out trick or treating with the company and I stayed home instead. Then my husband and I were able to go out afterwards for a quick date so that was nice. I ended up not being as anxious as I expected I would, which seems to be the story these days! But I still get so anxious beforehand and so upset that I'm anxious and then upset about being upset... It's sometimes just so hard to believe that this will ever get better. I keep thinking that even once everything in my life is back to its order, I'll still worry about panic and then be sunk. And it's a visual thought: like I can see myself debilitated. It's like a horror movie playing through my head constantly, except it's about my life! And sometimes I get so overwhelmed thinking about raising the kids! Like how am I going to do this?? I never used to gel feel that way and hope it goes back to the way it was. And of course the idea of returning to work is beyond imaginable. Ugh. We have more company coming today which could be good as a distraction but also feels a bit overwhelming. We'll see I guess.
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gem
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by gem on Nov 2, 2015 12:24:03 GMT
Hello, hope you are having a decent day, I read your post I could have wrote it. My pattern of thinking is so similar, thinking I'll never get better to I'm I creating this by over thinking. I too have night sweats, anxiety. I have a degree in psychology and somehow that makes it worse, I'm aware of certain conditions I always think maybe I'm going to go mad or I should be able to deal with this. I too am breastfeeding and wondered if because it creates lower levels of hormones if it doesn't help but I obviously want to breastfeed. I just feel like I can't switch my mind off it's exhausting isn't. It won't beat us though I'm 100% certain it's defo pni as your symptoms are the same as mine so we do have it, it does get better.
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Post by psychmom on Nov 2, 2015 13:48:42 GMT
Thank you Gem!! I am so sorry you're struggling too but I have to say it helps so much to hear that someone else is feeling the same way! I've been doing A LOT of research (haha may as well use this new obsessiveness in a positive way) about low estrogen and low progesterone on anxiety, fear conditioning, etc and it is fascinating. I really think it's playing a huge role. Well I believe that for everyone else but I flip flop for me since I still have this fear that I'm making it all up. But we can't fake the night sweats, right? I'ce actually been taking a slew of vitamins recently to help and I really do think they're making a difference (vitamin c and d, a b50 complex, fish oil, b12, iron, and magnesium). Before this started I hadn't been paying attention to my nutrition and that can impact hormone production! Plus when we're under stress our bodies need to make extra cortisol and they convert our already low progesterone to do so! So when I realize these things it makes it easier but it still sucks that I just walked to the bank and had the worry that I would have a panic attack there. I really hope that fades over time as all the wonderful ladies who have recovered say it will! I'm going to read your post now!!
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