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Post by monica on Apr 12, 2016 20:23:50 GMT
You will recover!
I had PNI after my second child. The birth was perfect, he was a very easy baby yet I was obsessed with being the perfect mum and ran myself into the ground . PNI really hit me when my son was 4 months old. I deteriorated very quickly and struggled for another 3 months then took meds out of desperation. For me it was the turning point.
This all happened over 11 years ago! It took me a while to recover but I did. I would say that I became more aware of my weaknesses and triggers. I went on to have another child and was PNI free.
I was in an unhappy relationship for years and split up from my partner 3 years ago so I've had many years of stress due to that. At times I do feel I am sinking but I think it's caused by life stresses and I talk a lot about my problems and have great family and friends to lean on.
So overall the wobbles do lessen over time and you learn to manage triggers (which is no bad thing). X
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Post by Kirsty on Apr 13, 2016 7:48:49 GMT
Wow! It's so encouraging to hear your story and to know you have recovered! That must of been so so hard for you! I am very blessed with a great husband who supports me massively both with our daughter and with the PNI!
I have got my official first counselling session today. I'm a little nervous but hoping it will be ok and trying to stay positive that this is the start of my road to recovery!
Xx
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Post by monica on Apr 13, 2016 17:13:54 GMT
It's great your hubby is so good / that can make a huge difference.
How did the counselling session go? X
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Post by Kirsty on Apr 14, 2016 8:51:30 GMT
It was good! Hard as we started from scratch but good! My husband is very good but I had a major anxiety attack when he came home last night and I started thinking that it's because I don't want to be with him anymore! That thought sent me into a frenzy! Please tell me that's the depression/anxiety talking? Xxx
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Post by monica on Apr 14, 2016 12:07:30 GMT
Your thoughts about not wanting your husband is simply the PNI . You said the other day how wonderful he is. PNI can distort thoughts - and also robs you of the confidence to rationalise these thoughts. Everyone has irrational and ridiculous thoughts that seemingly from nowhere appear in your mind but ordinarily you just bat them away. With PNI you dwell on them distort them further and of course worry about them but they are just thoughts and not what you really feel.
Glad the counselling went well. It is hard discussing painful thoughts but should be a positive stepping stone in your recovery X
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Post by Kirsty on Apr 14, 2016 12:12:55 GMT
Thank you Monica, I am so scared I'm going to lose everything I have because of this! I have the PNI specialist coming today! I'm hoping something snaps in me and I can see the light soon xx
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Post by monica on Apr 14, 2016 13:52:39 GMT
Time is the key to recovery! You have every right to want to get better quickly but unfortunately it can be frustratingly slow at times. Try not to focus on the future and the questions of when will I be better etc - try to take note of the here and now. I mean that in the nicest way possible as I know the waiting to get better can drive you nuts!
Good luck for this afternoon x
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Post by Kirsty on Apr 14, 2016 16:36:56 GMT
Thank you! It went well! They have said that I need to work on my ways of thinking and that's what will help Me move on. It's a good thing however I feel a whole load of pressure too! What if I can't do this what if I can't change the way I think will I be like this forever?? TERRIFIED!!!!!! Xx
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Post by monica on Apr 14, 2016 16:51:20 GMT
You will be able to change the negative thought patterns - it will take practise and there will be times that you will feel it's impossible but I promise you will recover. I was the same - full of self doubt, thinking I would be the exception who would never get better but I did! X
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Post by monica on Apr 14, 2016 16:52:42 GMT
Don't forget you're not alone - you have your wonderful hubby, counsellors who are professionals and of course us! Lean on everyone when you need itx
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Post by Kirsty on Apr 14, 2016 16:54:39 GMT
Thank you! Feels like such an impossible task xx
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Post by monica on Apr 14, 2016 18:36:34 GMT
One step at a time X
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Post by Kirsty on Apr 15, 2016 10:56:53 GMT
Really bad day again today! Please let this get better x
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Post by monica on Apr 15, 2016 12:48:10 GMT
Hugs. What's making it a bad day? X
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Post by Kirsty on Apr 15, 2016 15:25:30 GMT
Anxiety and low mood! Feeling of not loving my daughter! Massive guilt because of it and fear that I don't love her! Feel the same about my husband and even my family! We went out shopping and watching them all with my daughter and all laughing together and I just feel so disjointed and not involved as if I'm watching from the outside and desperate to be apart of it!! Desperate to feel the joy, love and happiness that everyone else is feeling towards each other and to my daughter! Very emotional day! Was meant to get my hair done and I cancelled! I didn't have the strength to do it and be normal x
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