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Post by newmom on Sept 14, 2016 18:05:50 GMT
Hello, I'm new here. I'm 42 and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on February, 6.5 months ago. I had a very traumatic birth (unexpected c section) and spent the first 10 days after delivery in the hospital due to severely high and dangerous blood pressure ( I never ever had any blood pressure problems not even during the pregnancy)I was put on blood pressure medications for one month and the blood pressure normalized so the dr told me to stop using the medication. The day I stopped medication I started having anxiety that the blood pressure would go up and I could die. I started checking blood pressure at home every 5 minutes. This started my vicious anxiety cycle that manifested in physical symptoms: tingling hands, dizzy spells, weakness in arms legs, sensitivity to sounds, heart palpitations etc.. Multiple trips to the emergancy room, tons of blood work and thyroid - All is good. I was diagnosed with post natal anxiety and panic , not depression. It's been almost 5 months of suffering horrible physical symptoms . I can barly function. Tried so many many medications that didn't wotk and in fact I'm horrified of these meds and heard that many women become dependent on them and when they stop after many months if using them they relapse back and can't quit these meds at all. Is there any hope this thing will go away eventually or wil it last forever?? Medications are not for everyone. What women do that cannot use medicationS? I tried talk therapy which was a complete wast of time and money. Last 2 weeks I Constantly feel my head heavy and I'm spacy, feel weird in public places, panic attacks all night every night, blurry vision . I can barly function at home , right now working 2 days at office and 3 days from home but this is only untill October then they expect to go back to wotk full time. I just want to die .
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Post by monica on Sept 14, 2016 20:08:03 GMT
Hello and welcome
I'm sorry you're struggling with what clearly are extremely debilitating symptoms. For me also PNI started with strange physical symptoms (feeling spaced out, blurry vision, sore eyes, pressure sensation behind one eye later headaches, numbness, tingling and others). This later triggered horrendous anxiety.
For me antids turned things around, but as you say everyone is different . What meds have you been on? With antids it can take a few goes to find ones that work . It's common to feel worse initially but of course if the side effects are intolerable then you can't take them. Antids are non addictive . It can take time for them to get into your system, generally you should take them for at least a year after you feel better and when you're ready to come off them it should be done slowly . If you suddenly stop or don't take them long enough they can make you feel unwell. Meds such as these are not everyone's choice but in my experience they really turned my life around.
What does your dr suggest for you? It's good you've been tested as there are physical causes to these symptoms too like thyroid issues. I was recommended vit B/ evening primrose supplements more for when I was coming off meds but I take vit B to this day and it's been 10 yrs since I recovered .
I found exercise hugely beneficial especially for the spaced out feeling and general mood. I can't recommend this enough. Would you be able to do anything ? Something aerobic was what I found the best.
Please keep talking. I know how hard life was for me so can relate to what you're going through x
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Post by newmom on Sept 14, 2016 20:15:06 GMT
Dear Monica, Thank you for replying. I tried Lexapro , Celexa, Zoloft. I'm just so scared of these meds as I'm scared of my current condition. Does this horrible illness eventually goes away without using medication or does it last forever? I never had any mental issues untill I was hit hard with this PNI. Thank you.
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Post by monica on Sept 14, 2016 20:55:11 GMT
Hi
I'm sure it will go although possibly quicker with meds that work? Our founder also suffered from physical symptoms and didn't take meds and she recovered as have others.
It's worth talking to gp for other strategies. It sounds like the traumatic birth may well have triggered PNI - the anxiety of coming off the meds in the first instance.
Really do try the exercise. It worked wonders for me. Sorry got to go to bed as up at 5 tomoz ! Will post more tomorrowe x
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Post by newmom on Sept 15, 2016 11:33:31 GMT
Monica, Did it happen to you that when you had PNI , when you really got anxious or stressed then all the physical symptoms intensified? Each time I get more anxious / stressed my physical symptoms get so so much worse.
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Post by monica on Sept 15, 2016 18:49:37 GMT
Hi
Yes definately. With the antids I noticed my stress levels went down and most of the physical symptoms disappeared. Saying that pmt , being ill or run down or stressed would bring on some of them especially the spaced out sickly feeling. I found that exercise would really help with the spaced out symptoms.
Monica
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Post by newmom on Sept 16, 2016 22:50:47 GMT
Thank you Monica for replying. Today I started Feeling extreme fatigue , like Im extremly weak, beyond words, I've never felt so tired. Went to the gp and he diagnosed me with fatigue and malaise due to depression/ stress/ anxiety .. I feel that this is chronic and will never go away. I feel like I'm done. I'm taking Xanax for anxities but this just takes the edge off just a bit , takes away the dizziness and fogy head sensation. The psychiatrist suggested Paxil as an antid but I'm scared of any strong psychiatric drugs since I had nightmare experience with 3 of them already. I'm so exhausted ,frustrated but mostly full of fear. The fear that this will never go away , all these awful physical symptoms. I'm close to losing my job because of this . My husband is suffering too and when I look at my baby girl, all I can do is cry cry cry. Wake up every morning feeling like I have severe flu and going into panic attacks afraid this will never ever leave me. I'm so scared .
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Post by quantumrose on Sept 17, 2016 18:19:52 GMT
Hi fellow mumma, what you've said and how you've described your symptoms feels very familiar to me. The fear/anxiety/physical symptoms cycle is debilitating and it can sometimes feel like this is it and nothing will change for the better. But you will be OK. This will pass, however hard that is to believe right now. What changed things for me is therapy, it helped me understand what was fear and what was reality and once I could separate the two the physical symptoms passed quite quickly. Believing that you will be OK is one of the hardest things but you WILL get there. It sounds like work is a source of stress for you, could you maybe ask to work from home for a bit longer? If you think it would help? Hang in there, I know how awful this feels right now but you will recover and you will feel safe again. Keep talking x
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Post by newmom on Sept 17, 2016 21:38:37 GMT
Dear quantumrose, Thank you very much for your suoport and kind words . I'm so scared. Your support and Monica's support means so much to me . Thank you thank you
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Post by Kirsty on Sept 18, 2016 9:30:48 GMT
Hello newmom, how are you today? X
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Post by monica on Sept 18, 2016 10:22:08 GMT
Hi
I started writing to you yesterday... and lost it so sorry!
This is such a cruel and debilitating illness. I must admit I had no idea what it was to suffer from pni before I had this. As I mentioned before I struggled with dreadful physical symptoms for about 4 months and I was fortunate that the first antids I took worked. I had 2-3 weeks of feeling even worse then slowly things started to improve. Many of my physical symptoms lifted - the foggiheadedness (although that would come and go), headaches, numbness/tingling etc and also the fatigue.
The fatigue was one of the first symptoms to start - I remember taking a short walk with my mum and feeling as if I was not going to make it. It felt as if I was coming down with the flu but I wasn't. I couldn't believe pni could cause these physical symptoms after all the depression was a known symptom but all these others and there was no literature, drs didn't know what I was suffering from and why... I convinced myself I was dying, which of course made the anxiety worse as well as the physical symptoms...it's a vicious circle.
You will get better.. can 't tell you when but it will. Our founder, Veritee, had pni with physical symptoms. she didn't take meds but she too got better. I imagine without meds that work it might take longer? But i'm not a health care professional so I couldn't give you more info. It is common though for ladies to have to try several before finding one that works. A specialist might be able to advise you. Maybe one of the older types (like tricyclic ones) might be an option as they differ from the SSRIs. This might be a question for your dr?
I agree with QR, (even though it took me months to accept this) , your symptoms are anxiety linked. I know you have said talking therapy didn't work for you but it might be worth examining different types and maybe even different therapists. Your traumatic birth has had an impact I'm sure as did the anxiety of coming off the blood pressure meds. You're extreremly anxious now. Your thought patterns probably revolve around this anxiety and contiously trigger it and you have to relearn how to think differently if you see what I mean. Cognigitve behavioural therapy can be very good for this. Also learning relaxation techniques - there are so many - so there will be somehting that will work for you. All this isbloody hard work but can help. I've mentioned exercise before. REgular walks and maybe yoga or somehting? You might have to experiement a bit depending on how you feel andn then build it up. I can't emphasise enough what a positive impact this made on me.
Re work - do you have a HR dept? You need support right now - maybe your employer needs to adapt your role whilst you feel unwell . It's worth exploring as they have a legal obligation to help you I believe. Sorry got to go but will chekc in laterx
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Post by newmom on Sept 18, 2016 13:22:32 GMT
Hi Kirsty, Monica and quanturose. Thank you for your support. Another thing I forgot to mention is when I go outside to public places I feel weird, dizzy and somehow disconnected , or floating, if you know what I mean? This is so scary and frustrating me so much.
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Post by Kirsty on Sept 18, 2016 13:47:59 GMT
I felt and can still feel sometimes really disconnected from the world and like I'm watching everyone with my baby from the outside so I get what you mean by that. I donner suffer with physical Symptoms but I have depression anxiety and OCD which is really bloody difficult. You have to try and listen to the ladies on here when they give you advice, they are my lifeline especially in times of depp deep lows. It's horrible I wish you well and am Here if you need a chat x
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Post by newmom on Sept 18, 2016 14:07:34 GMT
Kirsty,
I'm sorry to hear you're suffering so much. I don't have depression, it's amxiety and panic and maybe only a touch of depression because of the physical symptoms... About the disconnected feeling, is this still part of your postpartum issues? How many months are you postpartum? I have never had any issues like this before .its not like I feel disconnected but more like lightheaded dizzy ...like I'm on a boat , I Can't explain it. Are you taking meds and still feeling disconnected? Will this weird feeling when I go outside will get better ? Or am I going to live like this..? I really value the advise of all ladies here it's just so hard to work out and think positive when I feel crap 100% of the time every day.
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Post by Kirsty on Sept 18, 2016 14:46:41 GMT
You can't think positively when your in the thick of PNI PNA I know it's easy for me to say be positive etc but I'm the worst one for it. I'm not a doctor however all the ladies that I speak to say all symptoms of your PNI will go once it's lifted. I'm on 2 different types of meds and I only get the disconnection every so often not all the time Like I did! You will recover so many women have beaten this illness and so will we xx
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