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Post by newmom on Oct 30, 2016 18:39:20 GMT
Now I'm wondering if the fact that I have PNI makes me more likely to develop similar anxiety problem when I'll go through menapause. I read that women who are sensitive to hormonal changes are more likely to develop mood disorders during periods of flactuating hormonal levels. So scary .
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Post by monica on Oct 30, 2016 19:45:19 GMT
Don't google anything! That's my tip as you'll go crazy with anxiety panicking about the future of what may be and probably won't actually happen - and I guarantee you'll focus in on the negatives! I speak from experience!
Like you I suffered with dreadful physical symptoms with PNI. I'd never been a hormonal type of person before - I'd rarely had pmt , in fact emotionally I'd say I was pretty laid back and calm never had any mental health issues, never suffered from any physical symptoms such as these. I'm perimenopausal (I think atm) but haven't seen a return of the symptoms. X
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Post by newmom on Nov 1, 2016 11:50:05 GMT
Last night was horrific . I woke up at night and got frustrated with this illness and awful physical symptoms and dizziness that is not going away and I broke all glass lamps in our bedroom. Today on way to work I started throwing things in the car at my husband and screaming and crying thst it's chronic illness and my life is over and how horrific this whole thing is...every night I wake up my muscles are twitching and I'm panicked at the notion that this is not just a bad dream, this is my life, my reality and I'm devastated . I'm looking at my baby girl beautiful big green eyes and I'm screaming inside myself and deveststed that this is my life. Like there's a glass door separating me from her and from happiness thst I could have had with her, and i can't help it but feeling mortified that this is it for me, for us. I refuse, I absaloutly refuse to believe that this thing, whatever it is, will go away because it's so real , powerful and so debilitating. I broke most of the glass stuff in our house during these 7 months of horror. I can't take it anymore
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Post by monica on Nov 1, 2016 16:04:23 GMT
I really feel for you newmom. The symptoms must be unbelievably frustrating and are pushing you to your limits.
Even though these symptoms may linger for a while you need support (who wouldn't??) as clearly you're struggling. I know you've tried counselling - but would you give that a go? With someone different ? I think someone who could make you look at things in a different way but a therapist you click with.
I was reading an article about ME - in a group of sufferers those who had cbt had a much higher recovery rate than those who didn't. The way of looking at things made a huge difference. Also someone to help you manage this frustration and anger .
I understand why you're feeling this way . Whilst you can't believe this will change and I have no doubt this is fuelling the anxiety and anger, so anything that can help you change the thinking process will only be a good thingx
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Post by monica on Nov 3, 2016 20:51:20 GMT
Just wanted to check in and say hi. How are you New mom? X
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Post by newmom on Nov 4, 2016 13:23:20 GMT
Thank you for asking Monica. My entire body hurts all aches and pains , feel like I'm at least 100 yeas old, very very tired most of the time, almost like I'm fainting . Ear buzzing and overall really sick feeling., like endless flu...Weakness, inside tremors almost like vibrations . Headaches , pain pressure in eyes. I cannot believe I've been suffering like this for 7 months now. It's a nightmare. Wednsday morning was the first time I woke up feeling really good like my old self , with none of these horrible symptoms but it lasted for only 15 minutes. I didn't say anything to my husband because I was just shocked at how good i felt but he noticed this immediatly and started crying saying he hadn't seen me like this since this illness started 7 months ago. However, this relief lasted for only 15 minutes and then symptoms returned, so I don't want to make too much of this short 15 minutes. I'm terrified what I will be like 4 months from now? My baby will turn 1 on February 27 and I'm scared I'll still be the same way ...or a year from now that I'll still be the same and nothing will change for the better. Every day I feel so much despair because these physical symptons are still there and they're so debilitating.
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Post by monica on Nov 7, 2016 21:22:48 GMT
How are you?
Your 15 mins must have been amazing - don't give up! I know you're progressing slowly and how hard that is for you. Keep talking x
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Post by monica on Nov 7, 2016 21:23:15 GMT
How is work going?
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Post by newmom on Nov 10, 2016 17:30:57 GMT
I just have to accept that at this point ( baby is 8.5 months) and the horrific physical symptons , that it's a chronic condition
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Post by monica on Nov 10, 2016 18:50:23 GMT
I don't think it'll be chronic - I think over time it will improve but unfortunately I just don't know how quickly.
Whilst I completely understand why you feel so despondent, I'm actually angry that you have just been left to struggle alone. I think your psych has been very unsympathetic. I understand why you don't want to risk taking meds why can't he?
What you do need is support to help you through this difficult time. Techniques to help to overcome the anxiety, someone to offload to and get support from. There are services out there.
Of all the health care practitioners you've had contact with, is there anyone you have found listens to you? You go/ health visitor? I honestly would see a different gp.
I don't know how you'd feel about trying alternative therapies? This doesn't work for everyone but might be worth ago if you can afford it. Eg massages to undo those stress knots, I've had reiki twice and found it really helped with anxiety. X
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Post by newmom on Nov 10, 2016 19:17:33 GMT
Yes. I've been seeing a psychiatrist and he always listens. He offered me to try a variety of meds but I refused to each and everyone of them due to fear of side effects and long term effect they could cause me, as I had horrfc reactions to 3 antids I tried. So if I refuse to take meds then there's nothing more that the psych can do for me . The GP also suggested meds which I refused to even try. So basically this is it. I found support groups to be very traumatic for me as each woman there talks about her horrific experiences and it just elevates my anxiety even more by listening to their problems / struggles . I died the day my daughter was born. It's horrific for me to even write this and I love my baby so much but this is how I feel. I dont wish for any mom to feel this way.
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Post by monica on Nov 11, 2016 18:41:37 GMT
However they can offer you support and it doesn't have to be in s group. You could have a community psych nurse visit you to support you, occupational therapist perhaps to help you with coping techniques. You are left alone in your world which is a huge struggle atm and that's not acceptable as you're illx
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Post by monica on Nov 16, 2016 11:55:28 GMT
How are you Newmom - thinking of you X
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Post by newmom on Nov 16, 2016 15:11:51 GMT
Horrific physical symptoms weakness in body, fatigue, tremors , dizziness like im on a boat, problems with vision : eyes seems to have problems focusing In one word: Horror No quality of life Constant crying and stressed feeling so sick since baby was 6 weeks old . Symptons sometimes strong sometimes less intensr but for the most part they're there all hours of the day. I'm so discouraged and can't see an end to this. The anxiety med I'm taking (Xanax) takes the edge off just a bit but not doing much more. All doctors say it will go away but I dont believe these things, I think the doctors are either wrong or lying to me. How can such awful symptoms go away? My baby is 9 months old next week.
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Post by newmom on Nov 16, 2016 17:37:21 GMT
I also read that some women recover but for others it can turn chronic . I'm horrified
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