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Post by monica on Nov 16, 2016 18:23:43 GMT
Hi I know you are living a nightmare - sometimes I wish I'd videoed my life when I had PNI as it was the same as is yours now. I understand why you're questioning the future and think this is forever as it's hard to imagine being symptom free, happy and enjoying life. I couldn't see the correlation between my physical symptoms and the anxiety - one fuels the other but it's there. Maybe at this stage you have little control over the physical symptoms but you can focus on trying to minimise the anxiety and getting support. Looking back this is what I wish I'd done.
None of this is easy - there are times you try so hard to reduce the stress and it feels like nothing works but overall it's a skill that has to be mastered . I honestly don't think you're getting the support you need right now so maybe try and do something about that.
I wish I could wave a magic want so life would be 'normal' straight away as I know that's all you want. Don't think this is forever as it won't be, however, try to think positively and take positive steps . I know even this may feel unobtainable arm but really it's worth trying x
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Post by quantumrose on Nov 17, 2016 17:37:59 GMT
Hi newmum, I just wanted to write and send you some hope. I suffered from PNi first 3 years ago. Horror was the word I used too and unfortunately I'm dealing with this second time round, after my third child (not everyone does). But, I recovered after my first experience of PNi and you will too. It feels impossible when you're in the thick of it, I know. It feels like this will never pass but it will. The thing that changed things for me was art therapy and finally believing that I was safe-my physical symptoms were PNI. That helped with the overwhelming fear. I didn't take medication, I know it really helps some people but I didn't feel it was the best thing for me personally. I rested, I totally pared back my life to essential and/or pleasant and enjoyable activities. I sat my partner down and I told him exactly how I was feeling so I wasn't having to pretend at home. I had a safe place to be how I was. I am so sorry you are feeling this way, you are not alone and I can relate to much of what you say. This is not forever xxxxx All the very best to you newmum xxxx
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Post by newmom on Nov 17, 2016 21:01:26 GMT
Thank you Quantumrose for these words. The physical symptins are a nightmare almost all hours of the day: the overwhelming fatigue like I'm 100 years old, feel so heavy ... Dizziness , aches paind all over.. the list just goes on and on. How did you manage without medication?? Maybe your physical symptoms were not that severe if you managed without medication? It must have been tough.. I've been on and off Xanax ( anxiety med) but I'll have to start taking it more regularly now because I cannot bare the symptoms any more, they're horrific and debilitating. Sometimes I'm so weak I feel like I'm fainting , zero energy , this happens now daily ...
How long did it take for you to recover? When did you start feeling symptom relief?? I'm so sorry you are dealing with this for the second time.
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Post by quantumrose on Nov 18, 2016 10:28:19 GMT
Hey newmom, It took me a long time to get help and I think that effected my recovery. i was suffering for over 9 months before I admitted that I needed help, mostly out of fear for the fact that I was ill with something other than PNI. But once I'd accepted that I needed help, things eased off a little. TBH it wasn't until I started proper talking therapy (art psycotherapy) that I started to really get better and that was when my baby was 16 months. I don't think my story is typical of people who get help earlier. You have sought help much quicker than I did and I think you will recover quicker because of that. This time round I got help straight away and I don't feel anywhere near as awful as last time. My physical symptoms were the worst. Panic attacks, racing heart, stammering, disassociation, shaking, stomach pain, muscle pain, the list goes on! This time I can see them for what they are and it relieves them massively, I know they are my old anxiety and depression symptoms and I somehow manage to not be so afraid of them because of that. I feel safer. It really helps to have a healthcare professional on your side that you trust and can call on. Be that GP, counsellor, mental health nurse etc. They can also help you sort out whats best for you medication wise because I think it's important to trust and have faith in what your taking, find the right meds for you. You can do this mumma, it's ok, honestly it is. You will be ok xxxxxxx
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Post by newmom on Nov 19, 2016 22:44:03 GMT
After so much suffering with horrific debilitating physical anxiety symptoms for 7 months , 24/7, I started antid on Thursday . Saw my GP and she said I need to be on meducation to reduce the suffering and that it's not good for my body to be under so much stress for so long and it's delaying my recovery and its needless suffering . She said my fear of medication is irrational . . I'm horrified of this medicine and its side effects and the demage it can cause my brain ... Im afraid that even when I'm ready to stop the medication with doctor guidance of course , I will never ever be able to stop taking the medication because once I do, all my symptoms will come back. Because my brain has been demaged by this illness and by the antids foreever. Yesterday was my second dose and I cried all day out of fear of using this medication and frustration of my condition. Today I decided to stop taking the medication because I couldn't handle the fear of using it, so basically I took it only for 2 days. I cannot decide which one I'm afraid of more : my current condition or the fear of medication....I think I'm equally afraid of these two things .. .I've been crying every day for hours for 7 months now. Symptoms are getting worse: aches pains so sever in my body especially arms and face jaw pain . Uncontrollable inner shaking and tremors.dizzy lightheaded ...It's a nightmare that has no end in sight Basically , my illness can't be properly treated , the physical symptoms are so intense and debilitating. I can't function at home and barly going to work hanging on a thread...This is the new me.
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Post by monica on Nov 21, 2016 21:14:33 GMT
hi New mum
How are you getting on with the meds? I'm guessing you're on day 5 now. What are you taking if you don't mind me asking? I know it feels as if you're stuck with these symptoms forever, but it won't be like that. If felt just like you did and I recovered.
I'm keeping everything crossed that these meds help you. They don't poison you - you should take them for at least 6 months after you feel better then when you are ready you wean yourself off them slowly. I found I was ok after stopping them - I had one blip then was ok. It was recommended that I take evening primrose oil/ vitamin B supplements to help when coming off meds.
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Post by newmom on Nov 21, 2016 21:26:42 GMT
Monica , I mentioned in my post above that I stopped taking the meds after 2 days and explained why I decided to stop.
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Post by quantumrose on Nov 23, 2016 13:21:50 GMT
Hi newmom, How are you? Have you had any relief from the physical symptoms? They are utterly awful I know. Have you found any PND groups in your area? Any women's charity's offering councelling? These things are so hard to find for yourself, sometimes it can take every ounce of energy, especially when you've already reached out for help to your GP. But finding a good group can make all the difference-and talking here as much as you need of course.
All the best, thinking of you x
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Post by newmom on Nov 23, 2016 15:30:09 GMT
Thank you quantumrose for thinking of me. I hope you feel better soon. I have ]No relief from physical symptoms, although I did have a complete but Unfortunatly TEMPORARY relief where I felt 100% like my old self , it only lasted 15 minutes and happened 3 weeks ago. I'm 9 months postpartum . Some doctors told me that relief usually starts between 9-12 months postpartum , where symptoms start to subside. I keep thinking, can I really wait it out and not use antids as I'm horrified of using them. I only take Xanax for anxiety 2-3 times a week ... As it's very addictive and cannot use it daily . It is taking a toll on me, my husband and interfering with my life and daily function . It's a constant battle . I keep reading that if not treated with antids in can turn chronic and last for years. It makes me more anxious and upset But all of you ladies here say that it will go away... I just don't get it..what should I believe???who should I believe??? Will I always have these horrific physical anxiety symptoms???
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Post by monica on Nov 27, 2016 17:14:13 GMT
Hi Newmom
How are you doing? How have the last few days been? Sorry I didn't read your post properly and didn't realise you'd stopped after two days. You know yourself best and it's not fair on you to take them If the side effects are intolerable .
Don't give up hope Newmomx
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Post by newmom on Nov 28, 2016 11:45:16 GMT
Monica, How long were you on the antids? How long did it take for you to wean off the antids?
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Post by monica on Nov 28, 2016 15:44:33 GMT
Hi
I was on antids for I think 1 1/2 or 1 3/4. I took me about 2 months to wean myself off them. My gp gave me my weaning plan over a month but said if I find I wobble a little when decreasing dose to maintain current dose for a bit longer . When I finished I had one blip and very achy joints and honestly I'd say I was fine after that.
Monica
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Post by newmom on Nov 28, 2016 17:30:19 GMT
What kind of blip did you have? And how long did the blip last and for how long you had achy joints?
Seems like you were on the antids for quite a long time. My psychiatrist recommends 6 months to 1 year at the most.
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Post by monica on Nov 28, 2016 21:18:25 GMT
My gp recommended a year after I felt better. I kind of felt ready to come off them . I started to have unnatural highs and would feel excited when there was no reason for it. As for the joint pain it might have lasted one or two months. I think the blip lasted about a month and was quite bad but once it lifted I felt well. One legacy of PNI is pmt which I never really had before. I take vit B and it does help. Saying that I'm 43 now and getting signs of being perimenopausal (what joy!) so my mood might be linked to thatx
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Post by newmom on Nov 28, 2016 21:25:54 GMT
Your mood now being peri menspsusal is not as bad as it was with PNI? I am 42, will be 43 in January. I don't notice anything unusual around my period , never had PMT. Maybe because of my age I will never recover from PNI because the hormons will never balance . My period is and always been regular ...but again, I think because I'm 42, im too old to recover from PNI
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