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Post by Zacren on Oct 27, 2016 15:05:22 GMT
Hi sorry for my english as it is not the language we are speaking most of the time.. I will share first my story...
I am 3 mos postpartum now...on my 3rd day postpartum i feel this most strange feeling i ever had in my whole life,, while lying on the bed staring on my baby i have this intrusive thought to hurt him,my husband is on the way to grocery store and i call him to come back as soon as he can, i was so afraid and very high anxiety all over my body, since then the intrusive thought come go on my mind, i love my baby but i dont feel connected to him, anyway on my 2 mos postpartum my husband accompanied me to a psychiatrist he prescribed 2 antidepressant with vit b complex, the antidepressant makes me feel worst too much sleepy that i cannot even go to work that day and very low mood.its a bad side effect so i decided not to continue the meds,, i can say that im better now but still i dont feel that spark towards my baby, i want to love him more than anyone in this world, i just have that intrusive thoughts sometimes but not as clear as before, please i need help how long will this last?
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Post by monica on Oct 27, 2016 18:25:13 GMT
Hello and welcome to the site
I'm sorry you're struggling with this cruel illness. The symptoms you've described are certainly well known with PNI. Not bonding with baby, having intrusive thoughts.
I'm glad you're feeling better - it can take time to fully recover so try not to worry if the symptoms seem to come and go as this is very common too. Sometimes the symptoms can return before your period or be triggered by stress , tiredness.
Regarding the bonding issues , do you have health visitors where you live? Or someone who understands what you're going through and can support you. Maybe counselling could help also ? Would you do try that?
Also try doing something with baby that you'd both enjoy? Baby massage is really good as babies like this and the skin to skin contact can help.
Pls keep talking as you're not alone x
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Post by Zacren on Oct 27, 2016 19:24:08 GMT
I didnt have counseling with any specialist.. 1 month postpartum i returned back to work, i don't have any trouble at work inspite those negative thoughts coming in my mind,, one of the ob-gyne told me that its better if i will take primerose evening oil,, after taking 2 cap gel of prime rose its like magic! The low mood has gone and i felt a lot better but again 3 days before i will have my first menstrual period after delivery, it was actually a shut down crying of unknown reason very very low mood and intrusive thought are playing inside my head more often that i want to end up my life just to stop all of this, i talk to my husband and im so lucky that he is very supportive about my condition, i spent all of my time to google how i will cope up what food i have to eat and avoid,, i stop drinking coffee soda and tea, i think what helps me a lot is the milk i am drinking every night and vit b complex,, the low mood has gone,,
Im just feeling worry about how i feel towards my baby, everytime i look at him i felt so guilty and a bit nervous ,, i will try that massage with my baby,,, i hope it will help,,
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Post by Zacren on Oct 27, 2016 19:36:09 GMT
I already started birth control pills (yasmin) i read that contraceptive pills can exacerbate depression,, how true?
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Post by monica on Oct 27, 2016 21:03:21 GMT
It sounds like your experience of PNI has had an effect on your confidence as a mum but that will come!
It's great your husband is supportive and you can talk to him. As frustrating as it is in time you will feel better. It is normal and indeed a part of recovery to have these blips when you feel low and your symptoms return. Usually it's just a temporary thing and especially around your period and lifts after. It can feel horrible especially after you've felt well. Glad work has help - it can be a welcome distraction .
Re contraceptive pill - some ladies say it helps with PNI others that it worsens PNI . Perhaps talk to your doctor . It would be worth talking to the doctor about counselling.
It does sound as if you're doing all the right things. Exercise can really help as the endorphins give you a huge lift. Give it a try if you're able to! X
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Post by Zacren on Oct 30, 2016 10:19:55 GMT
Hi,, thank you for the reply, just want to ask if this symptoms i felt in the morning is a part of my ppd recovery or am i having a different postpartum illness? While doing laundry i have this feeling to do something bad for my baby i feel nervous and i am convinsing my self not to do it,, i relax myself and at this moment im still worry why i feel that,,
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Post by monica on Oct 30, 2016 16:05:18 GMT
Hello
Welcome back! Symptoms can come and go - they are just thoughts that can be very distressing . The more you learn to ignore them the less they'll come but that will take practise and time. As soon as a thought enters your head try and distract yourself . You can
- clap and say 'stop' aloud
- try to think of something else immediately when a thought pops into your head
- wear an elastic band on your wrist. Flick it when a thought pops into your head .
I'm glad things are improving that is the main sign you are recovering x
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Post by zacren on Oct 31, 2016 6:31:42 GMT
I cant stop worrying,i feel anxious... the worries makes me think of this negative thought...  |
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Post by monica on Oct 31, 2016 8:38:29 GMT
It's a vicious circle - you think about the thoughts so they come into your head so you worry....
Try different techniques to break this cycle. I mentioned some in my post above. Also are you able to do any exercise. Even a brisk walk can get those endorphins released and can give you that 'feel good' feeling.
These are just thoughts. Someone explained this to me as the mothering instinct going into overdrive and this made sense to me. My irrational thoughts were about illnesses and dying.
Keep talking . Having dips in recovery is normalx
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Post by zacren on Oct 31, 2016 9:33:56 GMT
yeah you right,exactly i am thinking of that thoughts so they come in to my head so i worry...im so glad that you understand me,,
I am in a close country so its difficult for me to walk outside,, i am ashame now to tell my husband as i notice that he gets worry everytime i talked to him regarding how i feel..
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