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Post by Charlottebatts26 on Dec 29, 2016 22:53:04 GMT
Hello all I used to post on this site back in 2014 when I had pni a few months after my son was born. I had so many weird physical and mental symptoms including dizziness, strange vision, black floaters, foggy head, headache, chest pains, ocd, health anxiety, fear of something happening to baby. I had preeclampsia and also lost my Dad both of which i believe caused pni. After many tests that all came back normal my gp put me on citalopram amd eventually my symptoms went.
Now my son is 3. I came off anti depressants about a year ago and I was feeling ok but now it is back. The Ocd and the health anxiety is really taking hold of me. I don't really have many physical symptoms apart from feeling dizzy/spaced out when in busy places and chest pains but the thoughts that go through my head all day are crippling me. Tonight I broke down and admitted to my partner I'm really struggling. Tomorrow I'm going back to the docs to ask to go back on Citalapram. Just feel like will this anxiety ever go away.
Charlotte x
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Post by quantumrose on Dec 30, 2016 16:37:11 GMT
Hi Charlotte, if there's one thing this illness has taught me, it's that the length of time that you're suffering with it has no bearing on whether you will recover. You will. I know it's horrible when things don't seem 100% after a length of time but this sounds like a nasty blip to me. I too had symptoms three years after my second child but I was almost entirely better before the birth of my third child nearly a year ago. A huge well done for making plans to help yourself, that's no mean feat and something to be immensely proud of. Keep talking, we're here for you x
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Post by Charlottebatts26 on Dec 30, 2016 20:35:32 GMT
thank you quantumrose. The doctor agreed that I need the antidepressants. Does anyone else seem to just break down everytime they enter the doctors room? I always can't speak because I'm crying that much and then I feel embarrased and an idiot. I really didn't want to have to take them again. It scares me that if I ever had another child I just wouldn't cope with it but I always wanted another
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Post by monica on Dec 31, 2016 17:30:38 GMT
Welcome back although I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. I do remember you and I'm pleased you e come back to us for suppo
Even though life has become tough don't despair that it means this is it forever. If you managed a year without meds that's positive. Do you have an idea what could have triggered this blip? Maybe a traumatic event, changes? Constant tiredness? It's really positive you're tackling how you feel head on - many don't and it takes courage to take this step. Don't worry if you cry bucket loads when visiting Drs. I guarantee you're not alone and they will have heard it all before .
Do keep talking X
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Post by Charlottebatts26 on Jan 2, 2017 7:25:25 GMT
Hi Monica. I'm not really sure what caused it. My son started school in August and for a couple of weeks I felt really down and my symptoms came back then but i seemed to lift myself back out of it but then this past month it's been really bad. I think it maybe because I found Christmas really stressful and me and my partner have been falling out alot lately and my son starts school for longer hours from tomorrow which I'm really worrying about. Or maybe because my nan is really getting on my nerves at the minute she constantly tries to tell me how to live my life and she won't listen to me x
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Post by monica on Jan 2, 2017 19:07:36 GMT
Hi
It sounds as if you have lots of sources of stress atm and maybe it's all got to you. Perhaps try and tackle one thing at a time. Do you have anyone close to talk to to share your worries ? Feel free to offload here - I'm sure you'll get really good advice.
Re your son and longer school days, could you talk to his teacher if you have any concerns? They're usually quite understanding and supportive .
Life can be very tough at times and it can all get too much - you're definately not alone there x
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Post by Charlottebatts26 on Jan 6, 2017 22:21:47 GMT
Thanks Monica. I talk to my partner but I don't tell him everything, when i had pni before he left me, he says now he thinks he had depression too and he would never leave me now but because of that I suppose I hold back. I have my Mum but she is going through a hard time, she has really bad allergies and no one seems to be able to help her so she is in pain everyday so I don't really feel like i can moan to her either.
School wasn't too bad tuesday he was fine he seemed happy when i picked him up so i felt better but thursday he was crying saying he hates his teachers and school and he doesn't want to go next week so now i'm worrying again. All sorts goes through my mind as to why he hates his teachers even though I know i'm been daft and Josh is used to me picking him up at 1 so 3 extra hours is alot for him and he will just be tired and ready to come home.
One thing I am finding hard is the tablets. I felt really dizzy walking josh to school tuesday and my eyes were strange. After i got home and did exercise i felt fine though. today at supermarket i felt strange again. Has anyone else found that until the meds kick in? I can't remember how i felt last time i can only remember feeling rubbish for ages and then after a few weeks feeling better.
charlotte x
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Post by monica on Jan 8, 2017 9:33:51 GMT
Hi
It's normal to feel worse for a little while before meds kick in - I too was on citalopram and felt dreadful and even took myself to A&E once I felt that unwell. Hang on in there - hopefully another week or two and you'll pick up.
Would you consider somethings go like counselling. It can really help you offload plus analyse what's been happening in your life plus learn coping strategies. Maybe you'd feel you could be completeky open with counsellor if you feel (understandably) you can't be fully honest with partner about how you are.
How have the past couple of days been? X
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