Post by dusky on Sept 10, 2017 10:27:10 GMT
Hi there,
Just wanted to share my story a little bit. I gave birth 6 mnths ago and had a panic attack the same day regarding something happening with my brain. Its been 6 mnths and this never leaves me. Straight after birth, lost sleep completely, appetite and had a strange dizzy feeling with pressure in the neck and back of head, being confused. I started medication but left it after 2 mnths as it didnt seem to do anything.
Tried some counselling but I feel ny problem is that Im thinkinf abt what happened to me all the time. Thoughts like will I ever come out of it, sadness, anxiousness are there all the time. My babys near perfect and have had no issues with her but obviously since it all started after she was born, often I think it was better not to have her.
I have no laughed in 6 months, it seems like my lifes been robbed from me. I feel like I need to do something all the time, when I get done with household chores, O dnt know what to do with myself. Ill play with the baby for 5 minutes then think what do I do now? It almost seems like ai dont know what to do with my day. Hate being alone as my mind always starts thinking abt something related to how Im feeling. I've had so many comversations with so many people over these past 6 m ths, they keep playing over my mind and im so tired of thinking of the same thing all the time!! Thats why I feel so normal when Im with other people and theyre talking abt their life, its so refreshing. But I get sad when they leave because I know it'll be back to me and the same old stuff. I'm always distracted, cannot concentrate. As soon as I start concentrating, I get self conscious and then cant concentrate! Its such a vicious cycle. I think if theres any version of hell on earth, its probably this.
Everything reminds me of birth, my own baby, the house, literally everything. Its like I cant escape it. I would give anything to have my life back. It seems like even when I feel half normal, im wondering is it really my old self or im waiting for something to happen, like butterflies in the stomach or racing mind. The biggest thing is that its taken my confidence away from me, i no longer know what I decide is good or how I feel is nornally how used to feel before.
My fear is how will these memories go, the longer Im in this, the more memories Ill have and how will I ever forget this... it doesnt help when you naturally have a very good memory!
This is my third baby and while I think I did have some form of baby blues, it was always to do with the baby and not myself. Like the baby not sleeping properly, so once those problems sorted out, I was back to normal. However this time around everything is perfect but im not. And I dnt know how to change it. If it was something external, something that could be measured, i could have fixed it
But you cant see it, youre otherwise healthy, its just so strange.
My appetite has taken a big hit, I can only manage one proper meal a day. Theres really no joy in anything. Clean house, baby sleeping, all the things that used to give me pleasure before dont do so anymore.
I dont even know if writing this helps this or aggravates it because it seems like im always waiting for something... a cure.
Please help me.
Just wanted to share my story a little bit. I gave birth 6 mnths ago and had a panic attack the same day regarding something happening with my brain. Its been 6 mnths and this never leaves me. Straight after birth, lost sleep completely, appetite and had a strange dizzy feeling with pressure in the neck and back of head, being confused. I started medication but left it after 2 mnths as it didnt seem to do anything.
Tried some counselling but I feel ny problem is that Im thinkinf abt what happened to me all the time. Thoughts like will I ever come out of it, sadness, anxiousness are there all the time. My babys near perfect and have had no issues with her but obviously since it all started after she was born, often I think it was better not to have her.
I have no laughed in 6 months, it seems like my lifes been robbed from me. I feel like I need to do something all the time, when I get done with household chores, O dnt know what to do with myself. Ill play with the baby for 5 minutes then think what do I do now? It almost seems like ai dont know what to do with my day. Hate being alone as my mind always starts thinking abt something related to how Im feeling. I've had so many comversations with so many people over these past 6 m ths, they keep playing over my mind and im so tired of thinking of the same thing all the time!! Thats why I feel so normal when Im with other people and theyre talking abt their life, its so refreshing. But I get sad when they leave because I know it'll be back to me and the same old stuff. I'm always distracted, cannot concentrate. As soon as I start concentrating, I get self conscious and then cant concentrate! Its such a vicious cycle. I think if theres any version of hell on earth, its probably this.
Everything reminds me of birth, my own baby, the house, literally everything. Its like I cant escape it. I would give anything to have my life back. It seems like even when I feel half normal, im wondering is it really my old self or im waiting for something to happen, like butterflies in the stomach or racing mind. The biggest thing is that its taken my confidence away from me, i no longer know what I decide is good or how I feel is nornally how used to feel before.
My fear is how will these memories go, the longer Im in this, the more memories Ill have and how will I ever forget this... it doesnt help when you naturally have a very good memory!
This is my third baby and while I think I did have some form of baby blues, it was always to do with the baby and not myself. Like the baby not sleeping properly, so once those problems sorted out, I was back to normal. However this time around everything is perfect but im not. And I dnt know how to change it. If it was something external, something that could be measured, i could have fixed it
But you cant see it, youre otherwise healthy, its just so strange.
My appetite has taken a big hit, I can only manage one proper meal a day. Theres really no joy in anything. Clean house, baby sleeping, all the things that used to give me pleasure before dont do so anymore.
I dont even know if writing this helps this or aggravates it because it seems like im always waiting for something... a cure.
Please help me.