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Post by monica on Jul 10, 2020 20:45:54 GMT
Hi EC
I just thought of a cbt technique - can’t remember if I’ve mentioned it before - but it helped me with health anxiety.
On a piece of paper down your fear - so the lump in your breast is something serious - then draw two columns and wrote fine reasons why your fear may be true and in the other column , evidence why it won’t be true .
Inevitably the latter will be full up and the former empty!
I found seeing my fears in black and white really helped me put them into perspective. Give it a go! X
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ec
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Post by ec on Jul 28, 2020 6:17:35 GMT
Thanks for the advice Monica. I will give it a try. Have felt ok last week or so but sure anxiety will return at some point about my breast. Struggling a bit with the sleep at mo or should I say lack of. My baby seems to have bad wind and I can be up from 1-4 hours in middle of the night. Last couple of nights I’ve struggled to get to sleep in the hour before she wakes up. Don’t know if this is because I’ve got a 6th sense she will wake up, she used to sleep for 2-3 hours in the first stretch. Then if I haven’t got to I sleep I feel anxious about it. I know my sleep schedule has been knocked sideways so maybe it’s normal to expect you can’t just switch off and also I suppose there’s the change in hormones. Just v frustrating when u actually have opportunity to sleep and then can’t. Hopefully this too shall pass. Hope your doing ok xx
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Post by monica on Jul 29, 2020 7:24:21 GMT
Hi EC
Glad the health anxiety has abated. Poor you EC - it’s so tough for you! Lack of sleep is torturous. I’m sorry baby’s got trapped wind at night. Is it colicky type thing? My youngest had that and I remember crying from exhaustion . The miracle cure I found was cranial osteopathy - for him not me!
It’s hard if you’re falling into a pattern of struggling to fall asleep. I’m sure the uncertainty on when baby will fall asleep or awake is the cause. I hope things settle down soon. Could you catch up on sleep during the day? Is there someone who give you a couple of hours to sleep?
I’m ok - thx for asking. Feeling better - not quite ‘there’ but better.
Monica
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ec
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Post by ec on Aug 16, 2020 11:19:51 GMT
Hi Monica I saw the breast consultant and luckily she said it was a thickening of the milk duct. I’ve had a few weeks rest bite from anxiety which has been nice but now found a raised mark on my face that I’m concerned about. (I’m rolling my eyes at myself now) it’s like my mind can’t dismiss any bodily change as normal and immediately jumps to worst case scenario. I don’t know how long it’s been there but will contact doctor tomorrow. I always get mask of pregnancy which fades over time but as it’s raised I’m concerned. Will try your cbt technique out to try and calm myself. Hope you’ve survived in this hot weather X
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Post by monica on Aug 17, 2020 7:28:32 GMT
Hi EC
So pleased to hear you got the Ok re breast. I’m sure the mark on your fave will be something non threatening but it’s not always so easy to feel calm even if the rational part of your brain is telling you it’s nothing serious. Try different techniques and hopefully it’ll ease the anxiety. Maybe try to take a step back and see how the health anxiety is making you feel overall ? If it’s all consuming maybe several sessions of cbt might help? Sometimes we all need a little guidance to bring us back down to earth . I think I mentioned my bf broke up with me in June - it was a fantastic relationship and looking at it objectively the split wasn’t really about me per se (I don’t think!) but I had a couple of online sessions with a reiki practitioner and it helped me untangle patterns etc and just feel less alone with someone who understood.
How are the bambinos? How are you all managing with the heat! It’s a struggle for me. We’re on hols on itsly where every place has ac - the heat is quite oppressive! How’s baby doing! How are the other two with her? And of course how are you and hubby? X
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ec
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Post by ec on Aug 28, 2020 19:22:43 GMT
Hi Monica I’m glad you are feeling better from having the reiki. I hope you had a great holiday and have reached some clarity about your relationship. I’m feeling ok thanks. I feel a lot better about the skin freckle and I think I got a small cut on it, maybe my babies fingernails, that made it look like it has different colours in it. The scab fell off! I guess although I feel ok at the mo I find I feel anxious almost saying it. Almost like I’m tempting fate, like by saying this that the I will be punished by feeling awful again. Does this make sense? Did you feel like this with your third child? My oldest is off to school in a few weeks and my second child off to nursery and whilst life will be a bit quieter I felt a bit anxious about it this evening. I guess it’s just the change. It may also be because my husband had only got one more week off work after having the last 3 weeks off. I know I’m lucky that he will be working from home for the foreseeable future. I guess it’s also anxiety about opening ourselves up to infection that is a bit concerning as although it could happen anywhere, you can’t see exactly what the kids get up to at school to keep safe and clean. Have you got children at school? How do you feel about it all? Stay safe and thanks for your continued support x
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Post by monica on Aug 29, 2020 8:29:23 GMT
Hi EC
I think with the new term starting most parents will feel exactly how you do - anxious about their little ones going back to school and mixing and the coronavirus implications that may have. It does sound like children are very unlikely to display symptoms. I do think children staying at home is a more worrying prospect but that doesn't stop any of us feeling anxious!
I must admit I've been quite relaxed about covid. My youngest son continued to attend school during lockdown as I was a keyworker and I think that did him the world of good. At school they were very strict about hand washing and santising and the children fell into a routine quite quickly. My eldest son (I think) had corona virus back in March but very mildly his only symptoms being loss of taste and smell. My sister's family caught it around the samme time as he'd been living with them for a few months. My sister and her husbnad had flu symptoms. Tbh my life has changed alot over the past few months - I don't meet with people nor visit shops etc anywhere as often as I did so it feels much quieter with far less mixing.
My children are 21, 16 and 11 so a fair bit older than yours! I have a great nephew who is 8 months old now so it is lovely to have a baby in the family!
I'm glad you're feeling ok atm and the scab anxiety has dissipated. It does sound like your thought patterns are quite ingrained so that even when there nothing to worry about healthwise it opens up a vacuum and so you worry as it feels unnatural to be worry free! Yes and the tempting fate thing is quite famililiar too. i was definately like this. You asked if I felt like this with my third - I must admit when I had pni aftr my second so, I was on antidepressants and this really helped with my ocd /health anxiety. So with my third I didn't tend to dwell on this. For me a huge trigger for my pni was exhaustion and running myself ragged so I was really strict with myself after having my thrid child . I used to rest when I could, would leave housework etc. I put zero pressure on myself to be perfect so in my case that all helped to keep pni away and it worked. saying that when my third was born the other two were at school and they were old enough not to need as much looking after as two toddlers would so that was easier.
We visited Italy this summer and I wasnt' particularly worried about coronavirus- most people wore masks indoors and generally social distancing was adhered to. Saying that we took a day trip to Venice and when on a water bus as many people as possible were crammed into it but everyone wore masks. Have you visited Italy? We went to Florence, Tuscan countryside incl Siena, Volterra, San Gimignano, Bologna and Venice and loved it! Really friendly people, so clean and beautiful!How's your summer been?x
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ec
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Post by ec on Aug 29, 2020 20:25:57 GMT
Wow I love Italy. Yes I have been but not for a few years now. I had quite a few hols in Tuscany and loved Sienna and Florence. I’m looking forward to visiting again when the kids are a bit more self sufficient. I’m glad you had a good time and that everyone was safe.
I think your right about ingrained habits of health anxiety. A few years ago when I had cbt and would find numerous physical things I was worried about I got into the habit of recognising my thoughts of health problems as anxiety and I was definitely better at letting them go. I think because I haven’t really had any health anxiety preceding my pregnancy and then only a little at the end of it, I have got out of practice of recognising when I’m catastrophising. I also wonder whether this health anxiety is just somewhere my mind goes more frequently in postnatal periods as I freak out I won’t be around for my kids. I’m only on a very small dose of anti anxiety meds. Sometimes I think maybe I should increase my dose but then the anxiety will subside and I’ll have a week or so of feeling fine. I’m hoping these periods of feeling fine increase. I definitely need to get better at recognising when I’m imagining worst case scenario. I wonder if finding that breast lump, although it was nothing sinister, kinda kicked off some of the anxiety off again and reminded me of the pni of the past. I also think that not having the distraction of work makes me focus on it more. Although the mark on my face was checked by doctor, it is slightly raised again today and therefore has got me a bit anxious again. Trying to remind myself the body isn’t perfect and I will get lots of strange marks etc in my body especially as I get older. Do u ever get health anxiety now or are you over it? Xx
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Post by monica on Sept 1, 2020 8:05:21 GMT
Hi EC
I have no doubt that hormones postnatally and the fact you’ve just had a baby, make you far more vulnerable to these anxiety provoking thoughts. Maybe there is something in you (perhaps an experience or witnessing something firsthand or maybe from parents?) that makes health anxiety your ‘thing’. Postnatally we’re programmed not to reject our offspring by hormones and in some, like me, this instinct is prone to going into overdrive when it can become irrational. Honestly, you’re doing brilliantly as you can rationalise it but every now and then it rears its head and is harder to manage.
Would you talk to dr or hv about this? Maybe they could advise you? Upping meds vs cbt vs keeping an eye on it?
My health anxiety is much better - I’m perimenopausal which has brought with it a whole range of symptoms including tiredness so I find I’m just too knackered to care!!
Honestly, I think you’re managing so well! Looking after 3 children, bf, and managing these thoughts!! You deserve a medal!! X
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Post by monica on Sept 16, 2020 9:53:28 GMT
Hi
Just wondering how you were doing? No pressure at all to reply! I wanted to let you know I was thinking of you!
Monica
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ec
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Post by ec on Sept 20, 2020 20:07:03 GMT
Hi Monica Thank you for checking on me. I’ve had a good couple of weeks. My sons enjoying school and daughter enjoying nursery. I’ve had a few of my old physical symptoms back again, almost like a blip, heavy head, spaced out, sinus pressure. I guess cos I’ve experienced these symptoms before and they passed I don’t feel as anxious about them. Sometimes I’ll experience the physical symptoms and then a few hours later I’ll start having some anxious thoughts or vice versa. I think I recognise the mind body link more now. I do sometimes worry that it’s something more serious when I get a physical sensation but try and remind myself that I’ve been here before. Did you get some of your old physical symptoms back again postpartum after your third child? How are you? I hope your well X
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Post by monica on Sept 21, 2020 10:14:26 GMT
Hi EC
It’s great to hear you’ve had a couple of positive weeks and the older children have settled back into their routines.
I do remember my physical symptoms used to reappear from time to time after having my third child and even though I didn’t have Pni. I used to get the spaced out feeling , pressure sensation in my head usually due to tiredness. My theory is that following the birth of a baby your hormones are all over the place and you’re probably quite tired all of which might make you susceptible to experiencing symptoms but it doesn’t mean you’ll fall ill. I would keep an eye out but try not to worry if you find yourself getting the odd symptom here and there.
I’m ok - my eldest turns 21 today! It’s flown by! X
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ec
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Post by ec on Sept 24, 2020 6:34:33 GMT
Wow 21. Such a shame that it’s so difficult to celebrate. Things seem to be getting bleaker with the onset of the dark nights, colder weather and virus spread! I feel a bit crap today. My mind is telling me that the physical symptoms will get worse and I won’t be able to look after my kids properly. Even at my severest pni with my second I managed to do this so I know its just anxiety. Definitely noticed a pattern of feeling good for a couple of weeks and then low levels of anxiety appear which peak a few days later and then start to subside. Hopefully I will feel better soon. I think although I can recognise the heavy head, spaced out feeling etc as anxiety symptoms, I feel like I’ve started to focus on them, whereas I felt like I’d reached a place where I could accept them, not bother me all that much and gradually they would subside. Now my mind is telling me that anxiety will cause my body to feel heavy and achey and then focusing on my body makes me become aware of these things even if they are inaccurate. Need to try remember the cbt I did and try not to focus on physical sensations and treat my mind with nonjudgmental awareness. Maybe if I don’t feel better after the weekend I’ll consider speaking to doctor about increasing dose of meds. It’s so hard to know how many days you should feel not right for before doing this? Anyway, it feels better just to lay it all bare I this post. I do feel like writing to u helps me gain some clarity. Also looking back on my many other post helps me see I’ve been here before with catastrophising and also with physical sensations and they have improved. Hoping you and your kids are well in these uncertain times x
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Post by monica on Sept 24, 2020 7:50:24 GMT
Hi EC
Yes, there's definately an autumnal feel to the air! Funnily enough, I noticed with pni I got SAD - not horrendously - but shorter and darker days did affect me and was something I'd never had before!
I wonder if the pattern you've noticed relates to a mentstrual cycle even if you're not experiencing one yet? It sounds like these things are heightened for you probably due to having a baby and tiredness? If you feel the health anxiety is taking up too much of your time then it's worth a trip to drs. Maybe CBT again might help and/or as you said an adjustment of meds? Everyone has moments of feeling rubbish when feelings are enhanced but if you find yourself spending too much of the day consumed by these thoughts then it's well worth in my opinion having a chat with dr.
You have such insight into things and believe me that's so positive. Even if things get tricky for you you are able to rationalise and logical part of you can explain the feelings. I was just thinking about SAD etc. I found that exercise helped me hugely. I think you're a runner - maybe restarting that if you haven't already might help of anyting really!
I'm really pleased writing it down helps you - it's quite cathartic. I probably should restart my diary, too!
All good with me, thanks for asking. We were supposed to go to Oporto weekend after next but as Portugal is no longer part of the travel corridor it's too much to quaratine for two weeks with school, work etc. so we're going to Wales this weekend instead. Weather's not amazing though!x
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ec
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Post by ec on Sept 26, 2020 19:05:31 GMT
Hi Monica that’s a shame about your trip but hopefully you will have just as much fun in Wales. Thank you for what you said about my insight. I think the return of some of the physical symptoms has kind of been a warning to me. Have felt pretty crap today culminating with intense emotions when I was at the park with the kids. Suddenly felt very off, like I had no interest in anything and felt anxious and depressed. It has eased a bit tonight but it reminded me of just how awful I felt with pni with my second. Think I will phone the doctor Monday to chat through how I’m feeling. So anxious about going back to where I was. It was such a long, slow recovery and I guess a reoccurrence of physical symptoms even though not all the time has brought things back. Over the last couple of weeks, even though things should have been easier with a bit of childcare, everything feels more crazy. The drop offs and pick ups for nursery and school and then clubs that the kids do, feels like I’m constantly rushing everywhere which is a total contrast to lockdown when I was pottering around at home and only going out with kids once a day. My aunt died the other day as well which my have effected me more than I thought. You asked about running, I found it really helped my recovery. I only ran on the treadmill at the gym but I think the whole process of going somewhere for me and then having a shower afterwards really cathartic. I really want to get back to it (not sure I’d feel safe in the gym at the mo) so I guess it would be road running but cos I’m breastfeeding wearing a sports bra is a no no for me at the mo. I made the mistake of wearing one before when feeding and got awful blocked ducts which took a month to properly clear. Maybe once my baby is feeding less and taking solids I can start. Trying to walk across town to pick up daughter from nursery which is a 40 min walk but think that whilst this is good exercise I’m usually running late and therefore more stressed. Some days I can literally feel my shoulders around my ears.
Tonight my mind is telling me I can’t cope with 3 kids under 5, then there’s the risk of getting ill from the virus, it all just seems to be getting on top of me. Also any cbt from doctors would surely come with a sky high waiting list given the circumstances.
Think your right about the dark nights, everything feels more heavy to me. Maybe is SAD. Dark nights always scare me as well as suffered from the worst of pni with 2 older children at this time of year with the recovery always coming in the spring/summer. Thank you for always replying and for offering such thoughtful advice. I really do appreciate it xx
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