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Post by monica on Oct 11, 2020 21:26:10 GMT
Sorry I keep forgetting to reply to your question - I interpret Polish-English and vice versa. My mum’s Polish so I’ve always spoken it. How do you feel about returning to work? X
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ec
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Post by ec on Oct 14, 2020 16:06:47 GMT
Hi Monica I have felt crap today. Just feel like I can’t settle. Feel anxious but also low. Sometimes I think it’s my own fault, like I’m talking myself into it. I just feel like everything is tainted with this feeling that things are wrong. I’ve suddenly lost interest in things. My physical symptoms have certainly made me feel anxious so I don’t know whether it’s a build up. Have contacted the doctor. How long was it before you increased your dose of meds. I’ve been in a slightly higher dose for 2 and half weeks. Not sure I’ve felt much improvement. I don’t want to go back to where I was before x
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Post by monica on Oct 14, 2020 18:36:03 GMT
Hi EC
It’s really unpleasant feeling low, anxious and on edge. Don’t blame yourself for this feeling this way ...you’ve not done or done anything to make yourself feel this way. Maybe it’s a combination of things that have triggered the way you feel atm - hormones, being very busy, weather change, darker days , aunt’s death. That’s a lot to contend with . It doesn’t mean you’re heading to that dark place again. You’re doing all the right things - contacting dr, meds increased etc, but of Runnjng . Maybe at some point counselling /cbt would help too? Perhaps you could be referred to a specialist perinatal mental health team? I’ve generally heard very positive things - they know their thing, have lots of experience and offer tailor made treatment.
I think I was on low dose of citalopram for a couple of months when it seemed to stop working as it had been (I can’t remember exactly). My dose was doubled - again I’m not sure how long it took me to reap the benefits of the dose increase - but I didn’t have any of the side effects I had when I started the antidepressants.
Have you told friends/family how you are?
You are really doing well EC and know yourself very well. Let me know what your dr says and use this space to ‘talk’ whenever you need tox
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ec
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Post by ec on Oct 19, 2020 9:03:47 GMT
Hi Monica I’ve increased meds and got a phone call with a well being practitioner which may lead to more help. Got a really heavy head today and feel woozy. The hardest bit is the frustration with feeling these physical sensations again and feeling like I might loose control which especially worries me when I’ve got the kids to look after. I think I would feel more positive if I’d had a couple of weeks without these symptoms and then they had come back for a bit, I’d have the fa It’s that they would pass again soon. I try and remember they will pass again one day but it’s hard waiting for the meds to help. Thanks for listening x
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Post by monica on Oct 19, 2020 21:21:18 GMT
Hi EC
Really glad you spoke to dr and well-being practitioner - I’m sure a combo of meds increase and other support will help you feel better with a reduction in physical symptoms and anxiety. I found the two to be interlinked a lot.
I really understand how less physical stuff would ease the anxiety . Can you get some help with kids so you can rest a bit? X
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Post by monica on Oct 19, 2020 21:33:06 GMT
These crappy times will pass - they did before and they will again. Sometimes the knowing what you’ve been through makes it harder as the worry is there as well as difficult memories. Hugs EC xxx
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ec
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Post by ec on Oct 21, 2020 16:06:53 GMT
Thanks Monica You’re right about the memories. They come flooding back and there’s the fear of returning to that place. Yesterday was better and I felt kinda of back to myself. Today I’ve been hit with intense anxiety. Trying to practice the non judgemental awareness that I learnt in cbt last time. It’s like I suddenly can’t see anything with clarity and the thoughts come along with the intense physical feelings which my mind then reads as ‘it feels bad, it must be bad’. It’s so exhausting feeling anxious. I haven’t had a day this bad in a while. It’s so hard not listening to my minds endless catastrophising. I started taking the higher dose of meds a week ago, do you think the anxiety could be things getting worse as my body gets used to it? I hope your ok? X
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Post by monica on Oct 22, 2020 10:02:51 GMT
Hi EC
How are you today? So pleased to hear that the day before yesterday was a good one but sorry yesterday you had the anxiety to deal with. Perhaps it also felt worse as you'd had a positive day previously. Don't lose heart - the fact that there had been a good day is hopefully a sign things are on the up.
I hated anxiety too and it can lead to catastrophising. It's great you're doing the cbt exercises - it can take a bit of time for them to work as with any exercise whether it be physical or emotional!
I did read somewhere but have forgotten where, that some people when increasing meds can take a step back like when starting meds. Keep an eye on it, but get in touch with dr if you're worried. Especially now the face to face visits are so rare I think they have more time on their hands so never be afraid to call them even if only for advice and reassurance.
All ok with me. I have a few days off so trying to get the house in order! Might go to the dump - how exciting is that!
Monicax
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ec
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Post by ec on Oct 23, 2020 20:45:54 GMT
Thanks Monica. I felt better yesterday thanks. Felt not as bad as Wednesday but still had a few doom moments today when I just feel like everything is wrong. Did you ever feel like this? I felt so calm and content in pregnancy and I’m disappointed that things seemed to have changed. I’ll have a good day or good few hours and then suddenly feel awful and be hit with a huge emotional wave of fear and doom. I just really hope I’ll level out when the meds kick in. Sometimes a good clean up is so therapeutic. Hope you enjoy your time off x
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Post by monica on Oct 24, 2020 18:21:43 GMT
Hi EC
That rollercoaster ride is quite common - even moods changing several times a day. I found it exhausting and draining. It’s really positive it’s improving - so fingers crossed you’re coming out of that horrible blip. That feeling of doom - yes I did have it. It was such a bleak place to be but when you’re in it try to ride it out - acknowledge that the feeling is there but carry on . It will get easier.
Yes so pleased I went to the dump. I dismantled a wooden hut with a slide and I couldn’t manage the floor. My lovely neighbours helped. I dosed grass seed. It was a little sad as it signifies the end of an era. Ideally I’d love a hot tub in its place but need to save up for that! Really hope you have a good weekend x
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ec
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Post by ec on Oct 28, 2020 9:45:40 GMT
Hi Monica So good when you get something achieved, glad you had a good couple grays off. I had a better few days over the weekend and early part of the week. Less physical symptoms, they lasted for only a little time if they did appear. It’s so nice feeling normal again. Had a bit of a manic day yesterday, finding half term quite stressful. My little boy is quite full on and I find myself quite irritable which is at least a different emotion to anxiety. I think it’s the sudden increase in noise and then he and his sister wind each other up and then start screaming. The feeling of wooziness has returned today which is a bit disappoint but could be because yesterday I was a stressed. I find I suddenly notice that I feel a bit low and anxious when the physical symptoms return but i guess everything is linked. X
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Post by monica on Oct 28, 2020 20:34:08 GMT
Hi EC
I wrote a reply to you and lost it ..grrr. Great to hear the good periods are increasing - that’s a sure sign you’re picking up and that’s a typical pattern - ups downs ups downs - but over time it should get better still.
Kids’ holidays is knackering! No breaks from the little dears and it’s v full on for you! I’m not surprised you felt off yesterday - noise, workload, peace maker! Everyone feels the same! And boys ...love em! All that testosterone! Can you start the day, weather permitting, by a trip to the park? Do an obstacle course or get them to run laps of the field! I’ve got three of the buggers and I used to say they’re like dogs - you have to exercise them daily come rain or shine!!
I think physical and emotional symptoms are all interlinked even though I found which cones first varies!! Hang on in there! X
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Post by monica on Nov 7, 2020 10:43:04 GMT
Hi EC
I was just wondering how you were doing? How was half term?
Monica
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ec
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Post by ec on Nov 11, 2020 21:44:30 GMT
Hi Monica It was ok thanks. Later part of the week my husband had off which was nice. How are you? Did you have any time off over half term? Generally my spaced out feeling has improved. Some days it is worse than other days but I’m trying to stay positive. At the mo I’m finding that my health anxiety is heightened. If I feel any sort of a sensation in my body, I immediately start catastrophising that it’s bad. At the moment I’m holding my baby who’s fallen asleep on my arm and I’ve been holding my phone in my other hand and can feel slight tingling sensations. My mind immediately starts panicking that I’ve got a neurological disorder and that it will be life limiting. Logically I know my blood supply has probably been cut off but the anxiety wants me to believe the worst. It’s exhausting. I remember I had this quite a lot even when I felt like I had started to recover. I remember laughing to myself after I realised that in one week I had catastrophised about having 3 different fatal illnesses from some minor symptoms. Other days I can see the games my thoughts play clearly and take it all with a pinch of salt. I guess that’s when I’m not feeling as anxious. I’m very much a ‘if it feels bad it must be bad’, I’m trying to see the error in this thinking. I spent some money on my husbands birthday present this evening and should be feeling good about getting it sorted but instead my mind is telling me that I will need that money for private health care when I start getting symptoms of an illness. It’s rubbish xx
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Post by monica on Nov 14, 2020 8:45:57 GMT
Hi
I'm sorry EC - i wrote to you a reply to you yesterday and forgot to press send! Glad half term went well for you. Feels like a million years ago! I didn't do much..stayed around the house with the kids, mostly with the odd venture to the park.
I'm sorry the health anxiety has reared its ugly head. The clarity you have on how you feel is really positive even if you can't feel, it if you see what I mean. you reminded me about your thoughts re private health care - I thought that too! I just wanted access to the quickest diagnostic testing capabilities!
Have you managed to try the cbt techniques? I know it must be hard with three little ones to have the headspace to try but it might start you thinking differently. I don't know if you met friends regularly before the pandemic but I do distinctly remember the distraction of people and conversation helped me hugely. I'd just started meds and had to pick up the mil from the airport where I worked - I was so scared. yet I met up with some colleagues beforehand for a coffee and for that hour I felt well, didn't have any symptoms, didn't' think about them. It was amazing. I think you can meet with one person so perhaps that woudlbe worth a go? I think being hyper aware of any change in your body can be a trigger so anything that helps you ignore and not notice that is a bonus.
Monica
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