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Post by leanneh on May 28, 2018 13:54:36 GMT
I really can relate so much to your messages and the way I felt but it really isn't forever at all! When you find you are having a relatively good moment really remember it, imprint it in your brain and write it down if it helps! Then every time you feel yourself dipping remind yourself of thatgooe moment. It won't make you feel better in that moment but it will remind you that it will get better again which makes those low moments more bearable.
Like you I used to try and analyse everything about my recovery and try to look at the whole thing as one big picture. It's such a long road to recovery though maybe just focus on one week at a time and suddenly before you know it you will realise you have come miles. When you are having a low try and just be kind to yourself and wait for it to pass. Implement your anxiety techniques and the CBT processes and eventually they will come to you more and more naturally x
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Post by EC on May 29, 2018 15:59:10 GMT
Thank you for your reply. I can't decide whether to go on medication, feeling very anxious about how I will feel at work and going back. However some days my physical symptoms are better than others. I just feel so confused about what the right thing to do is x
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Post by monica on May 30, 2018 10:41:43 GMT
Hi EC
There are pros and cons to meds. Here's my experience
I was prescribed citalopram after 4 months of struggling. I took them out of desperation as I had no life whatsoever - it was horrendous. Awful physical symptoms and horrendous anxiety. I could t look after my kids, I couldn't leave the house, panic attacks. I took them out of desperation.
I felt even worse for 2-3 weeks. My anxiety worsened as dos physical symptoms. I was given diazepam but only took them once as it made me feel worse.
Slowly after the 2-3 week mark I started to improve. I noticed one day I hadn't cried all day, another I laughed. I started going out , interacting with people and most of my physical symptoms went within a couple of months. It didn't stop the downs though. I would get blips triggered by pmt, illness, arguments and I found the anxiety turned into depression and low self esteem. Over time these lows did lesson in severity , duration and occurrence and became easier to manage. I was on meds for about 1 1/2 yrs maybe nearer two. My GP recommended I take them for at least a year after feeling well. Weaning took a couple of months.
Pros
Can help recovery quicker than not being in meds Can boost recovery
These are huge pros in my opinion
Cons
Normal to feel worse initially - can be problematic if you have kids to look after, work to go to - but can be worked around Doesn't stop blips Can take a few goes to find meds which work for you Side effects can be unpleasant - I had bad stomach initially, felt a bit numb, libido disappeared, initially lost ability to have orgasms then they were weak not that I had sex much You're commited to them for at least 6 months after feeling better Shouldn't take certain meds with them Habe to take them daily
It's best to discuss this with GP. Antids gave me my life back and were the best course of action for me.
If you're having good days/bad days perhaps give yourself a month - try to implement changes like regular exercise, eating well, sleeping as well as you can, talking about how you feel, finding a little time for yourself. See how you get on by keeping a diary. If you feel the improvements are insufficient or not existent think about meds?
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Post by EC on Jun 1, 2018 8:31:52 GMT
Started taking meds. Feel awful at mo. If I sleep its fitful and I wake with anxiety coursing through me. I'm so stressed about work. I think part of the problem is my expectation that all would be sorted before going back. Just feel like such a failure. I'm so physically and mentally exhausted and I've been lucky this week as my husband has been off work. Next week he's back to work. I feel like I'm ruining his and my children's lives. X
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Post by monica on Jun 1, 2018 14:46:59 GMT
Hugest hugs EC!
You're not ruining anybody's life. This is a terrible debilitating illness and just like if you broke your leg you wouldn't be able to run, this illness atm prevents you from firing on all cylinders. You are an amazing mum and wife with so much to give and WILL recover from this.
How long have you been on meds and which ones are you on? It's normal to feel worse initially and hopefully this feeling will lift soon. If you can try to distract yourself from the doubtful feelings .
Keep talking x
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Post by EC on Jun 2, 2018 11:55:17 GMT
Have been taking sertraline for 4 days. Saw the doctor today and she said she'd never heard of physical symptoms with PNI. Was it your doctor who said it was PNI? X
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Post by monica on Jun 2, 2018 21:22:06 GMT
That's a common response by GPs. Mine got me tested for various things and ultimately agreed it was probably Pni related. In my case I recently heard of adrenal fatigue and in my case I ran myself into the ground which seemed to trigger these strange inexplicable symptoms but over the course of my 13 yrs on this site many woman have suffered with these similar symptoms postnatally .
Hang on in there with the sertraline if you can - hopefully in a week or so things will start to improvex
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Post by leanneh on Jun 5, 2018 21:20:12 GMT
I agree with monica - try and give it a month for them to get into your system and for the symptoms to calm down as it can take a while and it's quite common to initially feel worse!
The first ones didn't do much for me so I did end up switching but my CPN changed me onto sertraline and it made such a difference to me once it had got into my system - you definitely need to give it a while to know for sure how effective they are.
In the meantime try and distract yourself. Find things such as colouring or journalling to keep yourself distracted in the really hard moments. I used to find this was either last thing at night or first thing in the morning so used to try and keep myself busy in the evenings. Try to just accept the moments you feel really low - don't think about them too much or over analyse them in any way! Just get through them by distracting yourself or just going to bed early to stop yourself feeling that way. In the morning things may be a little brighter! I know that's easier said than done though! X
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Post by EC on Jun 17, 2018 6:47:24 GMT
Felt better physically over last week and then yesterday had a return of bad head pressure. I keep trying to remember that everything isn't going to get immediately better but then I have thoughts of, what if I get worse again. I know that my focus of attention is then in my head feels so that is probably making worse anyway. X
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Post by monica on Jun 19, 2018 16:27:26 GMT
Hi
Symptoms ebbing and flowing is quite typical and it can really knock you for 6 when they come back especially initially with a retirn of doubts, anxiety. In time you'll feel confident and start to see this pattern but it can be so horrible when you're in the midst of it all.
How are you doing on the sertraline ? X
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Post by EC on Jun 19, 2018 17:50:16 GMT
Sertraline has evened out and I certainly feel better than when I first started it. My current anxiety is that my daughter and husband have a sickness bug and I feel like I have stomach cramps but don't know if this just anxiety. When I had a bad sickness bug last August that's when symptoms kicked off for me so I feel like I have a phobia of them. I worry that I'll become ill, won't sleep well and never get better like what's happened to me this year before I realised it was PNI. I felt I was just starting to get into a better place and now this has happened. I know it's my mind thinking that everything's against me but a few months back (before I found out about the PNI and physical symptoms) I had just started to feel like things weee improving and then I started to get tingles in my arms and legs and was freaked out that I had something awful. I can't go through life anxious about every illness especially with children and I know I'm catastrophising but I just feel so traumatised by this last year. X
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Post by EC on Jun 23, 2018 8:34:54 GMT
I feel so achey and exhausted at mo with a heavy head. I had a good nights sleep last night so it's not to do with that. Did you get these symptoms with PNI? I'm really enjoying being back at work and although I feel a bit low I'm ok, I'm just sick of not physically feeling healthy. I just get scared that maybe I'm going to feel like this for a long time. It's coming up to my babies birthday and although I only found out this is PNI 6 weeks ago, I've felt unwell for nearly 11 months. X
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Post by leanneh on Jun 23, 2018 9:53:02 GMT
It is a long journey, certainly longer than I appreciated! Try not to think about how long you have felt unwell as that can just be overwhelming. Try to look at how far you have come with things! Medication won't make everything better overnight but the way I used to try and make myself look at it was to think when I was really unwell there was no chinks of light but when you start to feel a little better there they are. This sounds like where you are now. Yeah those dark moments will come but just try and remind yourself that it will never be too long until the light moments will be there again. Live for them and eventually they will be more and more frequent until you don't notice the darker moments.
Also do remember that life does sometimes throw things at us. You would have had days where you felt crappy pre PNI and you will afterwards. I remember spending a long while obsessing over those days and worrying it was coming back! Xx
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Post by EC on Jun 24, 2018 7:43:53 GMT
Thank you so much for your reply. That is a really good way to look at it. I know there are chinks of light now whereas before there were none. I think sometimes I get frustrated as it feels like I'll never feel back to my normal self and I worry I will be left with residue symptoms forever. I know in these moments I need to to follow your advice. It's funny the way that once you make some progress you want to see more and more improvement. It's a hard lesson learning to be patient. Xx I
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Post by monica on Jun 24, 2018 15:56:41 GMT
Hey EC
I remember those days - when you start to get better and you want it back normal - all at once and right away! There's nothing wrong with wanting that and you deserve it but rarely does Pni work that way. It's a cruel illness .
I like Leanne's advice - try to focus on how far you've come as opposed to how far you have to go. Sometimes it's hard to do that but it'll make life easier if you can x
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