Getting past baby blues with 2nd baby after PNI with 1st

[HA]

Hi everyone,

I used this forum with my first baby. I had postnatal anxiety and depression and recovered. I’ve just had my second baby just over a week ago and I’ve been hit by almighty baby blues since getting back from hospital. These manifest themselves as waves of extreme anxiety and a grumbling unease and overwhelm and it’s made everything from last time come tumbling back. I planned quite hard for this time to be different and was/am hoping for a very different experience. However in these moments of anxiety I’m convinced I can’t go through it again. I had these waves last time and everyone told me they’d go away that it was just the baby blues but they didn’t and even though I talked about it and sought help quickly I fell into a horrible horrible place that took quite a while to get back from.

Everyone is saying the same this time, that things will be different that these feelings will pass but I’m finding it so hard to believe as it all feels so familiar... I could have almost set a clock by it! I wondered whether anyone had any experience of getting past the initial overwhelm having had PNI with a previous baby and went on to hats more normal time or whether it looks like I’m just set on the same path.

Thanks

[monica]

Hi HA

Welcome back and hugest congrats on the birth of your baby! I’m sorry you’ve been hit by these feelings which have brought back the painful pnd memories .

It’s a very vulnerable time for you - hormones going crazy, tiredness, soreness.

Please please try not to panic - you can get through this - you’ve done it before and you know what to do. Don't look ahead just focus on the here and now.

Have you spoke to dr /midwife? X

[HA]

Yes I’ve spoken to my MW and HV coming today, I’m also trying to seek out some CBT which I hope could help me get through the early weeks/months.

I’m finding it so hard to separate last time and this time and everything feels so similar, except in reality everything is totally different. I’m hoping the fact that it’s different means that as time moves on it’ll get easier and I won’t fall so hard/I’ll get better quicker but right now I just feel very anxious and obsessive about it being awful.

[monica]

How did you get on with midwife today?

It is a difficult time which has brought up familiar feelings from what a very tough time for you. I got Pni after my second child; when I had my third I used to watch out for every little sign that I was falling ill again quite obsessively in fact so you’re really not alone.

It’s really great you’re looking at having cbt - that should sharpen those techniques to help combat the thoughts and worries .

Your baby is young but maybe getting out for a daily brisk walk and other distraction techniques might help you dwell less on whether you’re falling ill or not .

Do keep talking - it’ll be ok! X

[HA]

Unfortunately there’s a 70+ day wait for CBT which isn’t so great for what I need.

That’s reassuring to know, what helped you get beyond the worry/obsession of getting ill again. I’m definitely resting and getting up and busy trying to distract myself, sometimes this is good and my head clears, other times the chatter continues no matter what I do.

[monica]

Agh 2 month waiting is frustrating! Do you have to call a hub to organise this? If so maybe give them a call every so often - there might be a cancellation . I had a quick look online and found the site below - it’s free too so maybe it’ll help in the meantime. I ha e no personal knowledge so can’t say whether it’s any good - might give it a go myself!

www.therapyforyou.co.uk/courses/online


It’s great that you’re trying distraction techniques. Your experience that sometimes it helps and at other times it doesn’t is quite normal but keep trying.

How has the weekend been? X