Has anyone else experienced same or similar please

[TurtleLover]

I’m a first time mum n bay is now12 wks.
I don’t know what my diagnosis is but been referred to councillors who have now gone an assessment n honna get back to me.

I’ve been on tablets in previous years no1 understood then what was like of feeling but had n opinion of how or what I shoul fo with my life.

It’s not been an easy journey, I don’t know for certain but believe it’s a trauma related issue Thtough my birth wasn’t traumatic events leading up to and or surrounding have been.
As I didn’t know was pregnant or having her until October 2021 and she was delivered by c section in November 2021.
my x gp/ receptionist kept fobbing off, not seeing me face to face, diagnosed her as ibs, covid, long covid down the phone, though I was trying to report changes every month? Throughout 2020 and now previously found out before that too.
Erm…. When I finally got posative pregnancy test(s) & appointment with the (x practice) nurse, she all but gave me flu jab there n then and piece paper with number on and nothing else. I had no idea what I was doing or who to turn, which services I should go to? Online things too you in circles a hold you to go yo your GP? But they’d not helped before then?
Had to ring hospitals , midwives,labour suits, switch boards myself in tears to get any where in small time and space I didn’t know I had until my very first scan on 29th October was told 37wks +2 n the a doctor in labour suit finally took charge of my case n made a birthing plan.
But not before we found out that the x gp has made even more errors and possibly neglect - to something yo do with my heart n whether I could give birth naturally or my worst fear - the c section
After tests n results the best way to go forward safely for both of us was the planned c section in November.
There’s more but I dunno how much to share an if ppl will understand?

[monica]

Welcome Turtlelover

Congratulations on the birth of your baby! Wow - what a huge surprise! It does sound like there were a catalogue of failures by so many - I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience with that which I'm sure made a life changing situation which was suddenly arose so very traumatic. At such a time you need support and kindness and not everyone you come into contact with , dismissing you and ignoring your situation. Unfortunately, the whole covid situation and lack of face to face appointments has only compounded the situation.

I'm sorry you've had a difficult time in your past (you mentioned taking medication) and it sounds like you don't feel you've been listened to then, either. Unfortunately, your experiences are common... though overall, I think there is more awareness now and there are amazing health care professionals out there and organisations that really do their best to help you in a way were you feel you have control over this help.

Please share you story with us if you feel you want to. For many, just offloading it can be very cathartic. you will not be judged here at all and we do understand.

Can I ask how you are now? You said you've had an assessment done - was this for post natal depression/illness? Have they discussed a treatment plan for you?

Please keep talking

Monica

[TurtleLover]

Yes, I’ve been assessed by “insite”, I went to them after I noticed problems on myself and scored high on the health visitors assessment so j used the leaflet she left with Mayo contact them.
However, because there’s so much going on in lots of different areas of my life, they didn’t know what was best but have suggested cognitive behavioural therapy and sent a letter to gp as they t sure about medication for me.
One of the gps at my new practice has er…” taken me under her care”, so to speak, after my birthday and a big family blow out/ argument(s) my sister had yo get my mum yo realise that it wasn’t that I didn’t want to celebrate or get things like nails done 💅🏼, it was more I needed reassurance of where we were going n doing it coz I was even more anxious, nervous, upset, trying to avoid it more than I ever have before. My sister seem to understand more than mum though mum, and I find that strange because she’s been diagnosed at some point with ptsd. after the family discussion flowing arguments. mum contacted gp on my behalf on the Monday to explain I needed help I hadn’t been offered, provided by x gp, midwives service and I couldn’t l ring myself coz I was up at 6/7with baby as would always fall asleep before I could ring gf normal service at 8.

I’ve been on medication before and it seems to make things worse rather than better. I started to drink on it after I lost Dad in 2017 n then we lost his mum in 2019 so it threw me into doing it more to get away from family, coz of feeling like they understood, they’re telling how or what to do with life when I just wanted them back 😢.
It wa only when my mum was diagnosed with ptsd last year that mayb they understand but she doesn’t always act like it. She’s on medication fr it and lots of other and watching her, I don’t wanna end up like that.

Sorry rambling
Long story short - I on insite list and another for councillors but until they spoke to me properly nhs because if previous time being on medication they have not put me on it - which I’m happier about
I just need someone to talk to that understanding more as thoseatound me don’t seem to- whether intentional or not

[TurtleLover]

Yes, I’ve been assessed by “insite”, I went to them after I noticed problems on myself and scored high on the health visitors assessment so j used the leaflet she left with Mayo contact them.
However, because there’s so much going on in lots of different areas of my life, they didn’t know what was best but have suggested cognitive behavioural therapy and sent a letter to gp as they t sure about medication for me.
One of the gps at my new practice has er…” taken me under her care”, so to speak, after my birthday and a big family blow out/ argument(s) my sister had yo get my mum yo realise that it wasn’t that I didn’t want to celebrate or get things like nails done 💅🏼, it was more I needed reassurance of where we were going n doing it coz I was even more anxious, nervous, upset, trying to avoid it more than I ever have before. My sister seem to understand more than mum though mum, and I find that strange because she’s been diagnosed at some point with ptsd. after the family discussion flowing arguments. mum contacted gp on my behalf on the Monday to explain I needed help I hadn’t been offered, provided by x gp, midwives service and I couldn’t l ring myself coz I was up at 6/7with baby as would always fall asleep before I could ring gf normal service at 8.

I’ve been on medication before and it seems to make things worse rather than better. I started to drink on it after I lost Dad in 2017 n then we lost his mum in 2019 so it threw me into doing it more to get away from family, coz of feeling like they understood, they’re telling how or what to do with life when I just wanted them back 😢.
It wa only when my mum was diagnosed with ptsd last year that mayb they understand but she doesn’t always act like it. She’s on medication fr it and lots of other and watching her, I don’t wanna end up like that.

Sorry rambling
Long story short - I on insite list and another for councillors but until they spoke to me properly nhs because if previous time being on medication they have not put me on it - which I’m happier about
I just need someone to talk to that understanding more as thoseatound me don’t seem to- whether intentional or not

[monica]

You have been through so much in quite a short space of time - I'm so sorry. Often having a baby - and such a surprise one so late in pregnancy - can bring past events to the fore. A combination of hormones, vulnerability when having a baby and past experiences can be a difficult mix and bring on post natal illness.

Definitely having professionals to speak to who should be impartial, support you and give you guidance will help how you feel. It's up to you whether you take meds or not. I would say it's good to have an open mind. sometimes it can take a few attempts at different meds to find ones which work, but ultimately it's your choice and they should respect that.

I had cbt earlier on this year. I was quite low due to perimenopause in my case plus lots of recent difficult and painful events in my life. It was brilliant. I clicked with the therapist and it was good too have someone impartial to listen to me and help me sort out what was going on in my head and give me strategies to help me cope. I hope it's the same for you.

It can be upsetting when those closest to you don't 'get it' - that's very common. My ex partner, who had had quite severe depression/anxiety in the past was awful to me when I was ill with pni- I thought he should know better. Maybe your mum just can't, but it sounds like she's stepping up by contacting gp for you. Sometimes giving those closest specific practical tasks to do to help you might be more successful that expecting them to understand you. As long as you have people in your life who do get you - whether that's therapist or close friend etc, that's the main thingxx

[TurtleLover]

I thought my reply went through but it appears not

[monica]

Can you retype it?

[TurtleLover]

Sorry had to put phone down and I can’t even remember what I wrote in it, lol
Least I’m laughing

[monica]

That’s me all over! Haha!

[monica]

Hi Turtlelover

How have the past few days been for you?

Monica x

[TurtleLover]

Sorry I lost the tread
Erm…not good.
Has two more low outs with mum, 1 over giving baby dummy and th other coz she moved her mosses basket in living room.
What seeemed lik nothing resulted in loads of shouting a her telling my partner of me to get out th house.
And of course if has anywhere else to jo is wouldn’t b here anyway- the local council application we don’t qualify for? She knows all this n could help us with a letter but she won’t write it.
Sorry rambling

Er…I’m still no further forward with counselling, other than pre-natal don’t think they’re tight for me n sent same letter to gp? But I think they’re wrong or there wa a too much to ho through n only saw my past not wha I need now with baby
N gp has once took step back so I’m left on my own just trying to deal with wan day how I can n it’s not always good

[monica]

Hi

I'm so sorry you had that argument with your mum. When you're not in a good place, that's particularly hard. Can you and/or your partner get some advice on housing? Perhaps citizens advice could help or could signpost you to someone who could? If you're having serious arguments with your mum it's not going to help your mental health. Could you perhaps talk to your mum about how these disagreements are affecting you?

It's awful to here youre not being supported by your health visitor and gp. Your baby is little and regardless of what caused the pni - whether it was issues which preceded baby or not, the fact is you have a baby and having one can complicated preexisting issues you may have had and you need help. Is there another dr in teh practice you could speak to? Maybe even consider changing practices as this is simply not good enough.

There are also charities which can offer counselling and often free of charge if you're on benefits etc. Mind can help. Also there is APNI where you can call and get email support. (the latter is for women with pni).

www.mind.org.uk/

apni.org/

Keep talking x

[monica]

Hi Turtlelover

I was just wondering how you were doing?

Monica

[TurtleLover]

Sorry again I lost this thread
The I lost the whole forum to talk to yiu
Erm we’ve tried everything, housing will not rehouse us as technically weqhve a roof over our heads
Family members will not help or aid by saying in letters we need our own place coz we can’t ou up baby gates as we restrict othe family members mobility ( lik burying head in sand, won’t admit problem
I can’t even get on housing list because apparently according to files/records I’ve not live in this area long enough to qualify so I have to wait til November n daughter will b 1
I’m stuck here, I’ve tried everything
And I’m beginning to resent my family members for doing this to me

[TurtleLover]

And I’ve replied the wtong answer to you now as i can’t keep up