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Post by Alison on Oct 28, 2003 17:27:39 GMT
I was diagnosed with postnatal depression 4 months ago, when my son was 3 months old (it started earlier though). He is our only child and I love both him and my husband so very much but I am so unhappy. My G.P. and Health Visitor are very supportive but they have not been able to get me any help so I'm just wading through this terrible unhappiness and I feel like I'm drowning. I went to see a psychiatrist who refused to help me because I don't want to take antidepressants until I have stopped breast feeding so I am getting no help whatsoever. My Health Visitor thinks she may be able to get me some counselling through MIND but there will probably be a waiting list. I feel like I am being punished for not wanting to take the medication and for wanting to breastfeed my baby and I am sick to death of people telling me to bottle feed my son when I am adamant that I don't want to do that (my husband and I had decided this when I was pregnant). This is putting such a huge strain on our relationship. I keep asking my doctor and anyone who will listen for help but all they do is say how hard it must be and how well I am doing in the circumstances. I feel like all the hope I had of getting better has gone and that I am just being thrown on the pile until I've stopped breast feeding no matter what the consequences. No-one seems to care that I feel so bad and that my marriage is going down the pan and my husband is going to have a nervous breakdown dealing with this.
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Post by Kate on Dec 1, 2003 15:15:23 GMT
Dear Alison I too was diagnosed with PND when my (only) daughter was 3 months old. Mine had also started earlier but all the signs only became clear later. You say your GP and Health Visitor are supportive but surely there must be other avenues to follow. I have recently moved house and have been allocated a CPN by my GP - she visits me once a week. Although I am on medication (i'm not breast feeding) she is just someone to talk to each week, she discusses anything I wish and is there to support and listen, she is also helping to find PND support groups in the area as I live in a small town and would probalby have to travel to the nearest city. Can your GP organise you a CPN? Maybe you could try the www.apni.org website where you can speak to councellors via e-mail, telephone or letter - they can contact you if necessary. Please don't give up on getting better as you will and there are people who care - I care for one as I know what it is like to suffer from this terrible debilitating illness and I am sure your marriage will get through this, your husband will be a lot stronger than you think. Best of luck with everything.
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Post by Wendy on Dec 2, 2003 3:44:56 GMT
Dear Alison
I care too. Good on you for being so determined to breast feed your baby. I appreciate your concerns with anti-depressants/feeding. I went through this too. It was an easier call for me though because I had been having big hassles with breast feeding. A friend said to me don't forget to look after yourself too, because if Mum's not well and happy no-one's happy. Good luck accessing the counselling. It sounds like you feel that this will be helpful for you. I hope they don't keep you waiting long. The sooner you feel better then the sooner you can get on with enjoying your life again.
Wendy
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Post by JOANNE on Dec 5, 2003 14:32:34 GMT
HI ALISON,I WAS IN THE SAME POSITION AS YOU APPX 3 MTHS AGO,I STARTED WORRYONG ABOUT EVERYTHING AND ANYONE AND BECAME VERY ANXIOUS.I STARTED HAVING PANIC ATTACKS AND WOULD OFTEN BURST OUT CRYING AND WAS FEELING VERY LOW,I WENT TO THE DOCTOR WHO SUGGESTED ANTI DEPRESSANTS,BUT I INFORMED HIM I WANTED TO CARRY ON BREAST FEEDING SO HE GAVE ME AN ANTI DEPRESSANT CALLED LOFEPRAMINE AND SAID IT WAS SAFE FOR BREAST FEEDING I ALSO SPOKE TO MY FRIEND WHO IS A PHARMACIST AND HE LOOKED INTO IT AND SAID IT WOULD BE FINE.THAT WAS 3 MTHS AGO I AM STILL BREAST FEEDING AND MY DAUGHTER IS FINE,IT HASNT COMPLETLY CURED THE PROMBLEM AND MY DOCTOR IS STILL URGING ME TO GIVE UP SO HE CAN GIVE ME SOMETHING BETTER FOR THE ANXIETY.I AM HOPING TO RETURN TO WORK SOON SO I AM STARTING TO INTRODUCE FORMULA MILK,BUT IT IS MY DECISION TO DECREASE THE BREASTFEEDING AND NOT MY DOCTORS,HOPE THIS IS OF SOME HELP
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Post by Lisa Nurse on Jan 14, 2004 21:01:19 GMT
Dearest Alison I hope by now you have found avenues to help you but listen, when I was at my lowest ebb and guess what I would not take anti depressants and I was not breastfeeding I tried Raiki and Tapping. Raiki is an indian treatment and tapping is chinese (I think). These certainly did help in the short-term but eventually I thought the only way the illness was going to go away was, naturally. Please please understand that you are going to get over this and the illness is always temporary. I think one of the main reasons I got PND was sleep deprevation but the other was because I could not breastfeed. You continue to breastfeed girl and don't worry, the illness will unfortunately take time because it has to but a little help of alternative treatment did me the world of good. One of my biggest helps was talking to my husband every day about how I felt, each horrible thought that entered into my head I told my husband about and it made me feel that tiny bit better each day. Your husband is a very strong man, do you know how I know this because men are, when faced with these things they get through them and you will get through it too. Keep talking to your husband and telling him every step of the way what you are going through (even if it frightens the hell out of him, just say it because we have all gone through it) and don't worry about his reaction - let him know what you are going through and this may help him too. Hey love you will get through this I did and now I am back working and loving my little baby every second of the way. One thing that my husband constantly said to me when I was very ill was 'if God had said to no baby and no illness or illness and baby - what would you have chosen?' well my answer was the baby of course. Please feel free to email and I will give you more details of the alternative treatments. I am waiting for your email. lots of love Lisa, Leigh and Jessica xxxxxxxxxx P.S I went on this site 9 months ago and what a life saver, I have met a wonderful friend who I email every day, you could email us both too!!!!! keep up the good work - every second, minute of the day is a step closer to getting better !! ;D
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Post by Elaine on Jan 15, 2004 12:27:06 GMT
Hi Alison
So sorry to hear you are feeling so low. This illness really is a nasty so and so but as Lisa explained above, it really does go away. I bet you are sick of hearing that - I know I was when I was really bad, all I could see ahead of me was gloom and doom and never getting better. Well 12 months on I am feeling wonderful, love my daughter to bits and have such a good time visiting friends and just being with my little girl. Never in a million years did I think I would feel like this. I did take anti-depressants but only because I could not breastfeed. I fully understand how you feel about not taking these tablets and well done for being so strong. It's a very personal thing as to whether you take anti-d's and obviously they work really well for some (me) and not for others.
Don't take the blame for your hubby feeling so bad. Just remember you are not very well and cannot help it -as Lisa said talk to him, tell him when you feel really bad, have a cry if you want just share it with him. He will probably feel more helpful if he can share your feelings. My other half said the worse thing was he just didn't know what to do for me. But just by cooking the tea, bathing baby and letting me have a sleep now and again were the best he could have done. He was a real star.
I agree with Lisa that this site is a real tonic. Just knowing that you are not alone and that other women are feeling just as bad is a real help. No one can understand PND unless they have experienced it. I am the friend that Lisa mentioned in her posting and I have to say I don't know what I would have done without her. We have talked on the phone and emailed each other and I swear this has helped us both in our recovery. Knowing how poorly Lisa felt 9 months ago, it is wonderful to know how fanstastically well she is doing. And this will be you too Alison, give it time, take it slowly and remember there is always someone on this website who will understand what you are going through and be there with a reassuring posting.
Take care honey and all the best.
Love
Elaine
PS Hello Lisa - will email you shortly xxx
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Post by Elaine on Jan 15, 2004 12:41:51 GMT
Me again
Forgot to mention I have also met a lovely lady in New Zealand called Wendy who I also email. Sorry Wendy.
Bye for now
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Post by Veritee on Jan 18, 2004 22:18:38 GMT
This issue of anti depressants verses breastfeeding comes up time and time again. It seems cruel to deny women treatment unless they stop breast feeding. (I was a victim of this as I breast fed until Caja was 3 and so took no medication and thus took a very long time - years - to recover) but it is only the opinion of some doctors it seems.
Some GPs will prescribe the older anti depressants which may not be as effective as quickly- but are tried and tested, have no record of affecting the baby through the milk, (according to some older posts from qualified sufferers in the past i.e. a midwife with PND some of the older type anti depressants do not cross the blood brain barrier).
But still many GPs will not prescribe anything and insist that the woman stops breastfeeding which in my experience can be just as destructive to some women’s mental health as not taking medication. It seems certain to me that much more research needs to be done on this and proper guidelines drawn up.
I will endeavour to see what the current guidelines on this are. Anyone else got any info or thoughts on this?
Veritee
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Post by Anna from NZ on Jan 19, 2004 2:26:26 GMT
Hi I was diagnosed 18 months ago with PND my youngest is 2 next week. I had untreated PND after 2nd baby also. I have also recognised bouts of depression all my adult life. Problems with breastfeeding, a baby that wasn't gaining and that feeling of being hopeless. i can recognise them all. I've been on anti d's for 18 months and am now in a place where I am ready to sort out my life. I agree with Lisa talk openly with your husband, keep those communication lines open. I always said he doesn't understand and then a friend said to me "if you don't let him into your thoughts, feelings how can he understand?" Since then we talk every day about what's been going on good or bad..it has helped a huge amount.
I am about to start counselling and have begun meditating which is helping also. Having a very close friend who has been thru depression is a huge bonus as I can talk to him openly about all the 'black stuff'!
Realising you are not alone and there are people to talk to is important..sometimes perfect strangers make the best people to open up to.
If you ever want to chat email me a-warnock@clear.net.nz
Anna
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Post by Lisa Nurse on Jan 19, 2004 14:06:59 GMT
Hi Alison - hope you are feeling better, bit by bit - forgot to put my email address - sorry it is llnurse@supanet.com Hi Elaine my little pal !! ;D
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Post by Dana on Jan 29, 2004 22:32:03 GMT
I don't know what your GP is on about, I was told definitely that there are some anti-depressants you can take which do not affect breastfeeding. Get in touch with MAMA. They allocate a supporter for you who has had post Natal Depression, it was a great help for me. Good Luck!
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Post by Anne on Feb 2, 2004 0:00:15 GMT
Alison it's sad to read your story - it is so similar to mine. I was diagnosed with PND when my daughter was 6 weeks old - she is now 21 months. I really wanted to keep breasfeeding because it sometimes felt like the only time she was quiet and I could try to like her. Your GP can definitely prescribe some of the older anti-depressants like Fluoxetine (Prozac) whilst you are breastfeeding so get on to him girl. I did and am proud to say that I never give my daughter a bottle and I still feed her at bed time.
You can get through this - i am still wading through the mud and darkTEXT days - but i look at every other mother on the planet who are all happy with their children and think 'one day i WILL have that' and you will too.
e mail me anytime anne.wood3@virgin.net
Anne x
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