Some Men jokes think we'll all get a laugh

[kirsti]

A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

"It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

[kirsti]

I remember back in 1995 i went over to my neighbors house. He was a blonde and for some reason he was mad at the world. He was in the bathroom and the door was locked. I said, "Come on, you know you don't want to do this!" He said, "I damn well do wanna do this, nobody wants me alive anyways." For some reason i actually beleived him and pushed through the door.He had a rope tied to his ankles. I asked "Aren't you trying to hang yourself?"

"Yes, whats your point?"

"Well, usually when people hang themselves they tie the rope around their necks"

"Yeah well, I tried that, But then i couldnt breathe."

[kirsti]

A man walks into the doctors office and says, "Doctor I hurt all over."

The doctor says, "that's impossible."

"No really! Just look, when I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts. When I touch my leg, ouch!, it hurts. When I touch my head, ouch!, it hurts. When I touch my chest, ouch!!, it really hurts." he replies.

The doctor just shakes his head and says, "You're a natural blonde, aren't you?"

The man smiles and says, "Why yes I am. How did you know?"

The doctor replies, "Because your finger is broken."

[kirsti]

A Blonde Man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.

He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the Blonde Man hands over the keys to his new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.

Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Blonde Man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.

While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Blonde Man replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"

[kirsti]

Back in the old Wild West, there were two blonde cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sarsaparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his arm.

The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'll give him one thousand dollars."

The two blondes looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head.

The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.

Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take a look at this." Dave replied, "Not now, I'm busy."

Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you should look at this."

Dave said, "Look, you can see I'm busy. There's a thousand dollars in my hand."

But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave, take a look at this."

So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians.

Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh . . . my . . . God . . .. we're going to be millionaires!"