supernature
Full member
on the meds and my edges have been smoothed
Posts: 76
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hello
Feb 18, 2005 21:42:58 GMT
Post by supernature on Feb 18, 2005 21:42:58 GMT
I'm Jude, I have returned to my doctor for the fourth time for depression since my son was born in April 02. I have also had counselling the last time which seemed to work, but here I am again. I am beginning to think that it isn't just post natal and that it could have been around for much longer, having a baby by elective cesarian a couple of weeks premature, seems to have made it a lot worse. I am a single parent, not sure if that makes it worse too, my husband and i split last April.
I'm interested in any feedback, does pni reoccur like this, has anyone else had it reoccur without having another child???
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collette
Senior Member
Jacob will be a year on the 1st September!!
Posts: 248
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hello
Feb 18, 2005 21:48:02 GMT
Post by collette on Feb 18, 2005 21:48:02 GMT
hi there please to meet you. i hope you will find this forum as useful as i have.
there are plenty of helpful women here who can help i am sure. i am unsure about the reoccurence etc of pni but i am sure someone on the forum will be able to help.
just wanted to hi.
love collette x
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hello
Feb 18, 2005 21:56:44 GMT
Post by wendabell on Feb 18, 2005 21:56:44 GMT
hello and welcome, well ive had this through 5 years and im not sure if i had it three times through the three pregnancys,or if it just continued from the first and just got worse. its my third time on anti dees but to be honest i was naughty and took my self off them each time i felt better as i thought they had cured me.should have known better that you need to take them for at least 6 months . hope this is of some comfort to you.Every woman on here has a different story,and we all have our own theorys to what might have done this to us but many of us did have a traumatic birth at some point. Try reading through some of the threads there are quite a few pages to read through but if you can identify with anyones post on here it might help you. In the mean time feel free to post in the main board for advice. Nice to see a new face/member. welcome again. love wendy x.x.x
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rach
Full member
Posts: 145
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hello
Feb 18, 2005 22:11:18 GMT
Post by rach on Feb 18, 2005 22:11:18 GMT
hi
pleased you have found this site as you can see i am a new member myself and already fell part of the family, im sorry you feel like this but as wendy says everyone has there own beliefs i do believe that you can get this back with having had another baby, i was refered to my local comunity mental health team and my doctor advised that although it has not been proven, he believed that pnd was caused mainly by a cemical or hormone inbalance along with many other life changes and situations,and he has advised that he believes that pnd is a more longer and sever term of pmt, as they have alot of simalaritys. This is only his opinion.
however i can see where he is coming from, he also advised that you should continue use of anti dep for a further 6 months from when you fell better this app reduces the risk of pnd.
hope this helps take care and hope you feel better luv rachel
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supernature
Full member
on the meds and my edges have been smoothed
Posts: 76
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hello
Feb 19, 2005 10:22:01 GMT
Post by supernature on Feb 19, 2005 10:22:01 GMT
Well, to put a little more detail into this, i think my depression began quite a few years before I had my child. My mother was long term ill (7 years) with diabetes mellitus, she had ulcerated legs, kidney damage and had gone blind, then she got angina, in the last year (she died in 1998) she had an infection in her leg which was what killed her because she refused to have an operation that could have saved her life. My father at the time was also ill, with angina, emphasema, arthritis and extremely stressed with taking care of my mum as the main carer, i still lived with them and shared the load when I wasn't at work. So I had no social life and was stressed too. Then I met my husband through friends and we moved in together in 1997, married in 1999. We discovered that i couldn't conceive a child due to polycystic ovarian syndrome for which i received treatment and fell pregnant. Then my husband seemed to go off the rails, he drank more and became agressive, I had steven and was diagnosed with post natal depression 8 weeks after his birth, my husband seemed to be suffering the same, but he wouldn't do anything about it except drink. I was working at time and he was signed off work, but i wouldn't leave my son with him so continued to pay and use a childminder. My work colleagues decided to be nasty to me too and accused me of 'smelling bad'. Acute depression was once again diagnosed and I was signed off work, my husband had lost his job abt this time too. My family and close friends said that my work colleagues were just being spiteful because I didn't smell, didn't make me feel any better, except that my father said I didn't and believe me if I had he would have told me so, he doesn't mince his words.... anyway upshot of that was I quit work.
Eventually I had to call the police and have husband arrested for threatening to kill me and i forced him to leave, since then he has had help with the drinking and depression and is remarkably well, good for him. We now have an excellent relationship where we actually socialise with each other on a fairly regular basis, but we have agreed that we cannot live together as it would put all the strain back on us and not solve anything. Due to all the problems of his drinking etc, the financial situation was such that the house he owned, where my son and i lived, has had to be sold, this is going through now, so i had to get a flat, the local council refused to help me because according to them I was making myself homeless, even though i didn't own the house. I have found a flat, we moved, my neighbours think nothing of playing loud music at 2am and shouting shut up to my son because he is running around at 8am.
So you can see why I am back on those anti-depressants again, I have been back on them for about a month now, and feel only slightly better. I still cannot cope with having my son around full time, he spends part of each week living with his nanny, grandad and father. I feel like killing him at times, but I love him dearly, worst of all I feel like I don't want him back ever, and I feel so guiltly about that. I dread him coming home after his weekends away and I feel guilty about that too. When he gets here it's not so bad.
So there's my whole life story as briefly as possible.
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hello
Feb 19, 2005 13:10:21 GMT
Post by wendabell on Feb 19, 2005 13:10:21 GMT
jude, i am so sorry that life has been so crap for you.Im not to sure what to say at the moment,but i just wanted you to know i have read your thread and am thinking of you. I hope you can find good support here,we are quite a friendly bunch and nothing shocks us.So if you want to write down your darkest moments ( it does help sometimes to do this as it helped me to put lots into perspective).
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hello
Feb 19, 2005 17:03:52 GMT
Post by lisa1234 on Feb 19, 2005 17:03:52 GMT
Hi Jude,
You sound like you have had a pretty tough time of things. You have been through such a lot & now having to cope with the pni as well, it must be very difficult.
It must be extremely hard caring for your son alone. Please try not to feel guilty when he spends time with family members, because you do need some time for yourself.
Love Lisa xxx
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hello
Feb 23, 2005 22:41:56 GMT
Post by catherine on Feb 23, 2005 22:41:56 GMT
Yes! Yes! Yes! As the saying goes - keep taking the tablets! Mine were affectionately known as my potty pills! Yeah 4 years on and I'm still on them only I'm not hung up about taking them. I simply need a full glass of water to take my potty pill, vitamin, cod liver oil, glucosamine and of course my HRT. Gosh, it's great getting over PNI and getting older isn't it!
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hello
Feb 24, 2005 21:45:21 GMT
Post by Louise on Feb 24, 2005 21:45:21 GMT
Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I felt the same way about my eldest son when he was little. He would spend weekends sometimes with his dad (we split up when he was around 18 months old) and I'd dread him coming home. One thing which helped me a little bit was to look at it as my recharging time. I would do my best to be there for him during the week but those weekends were my time. I would put the toys away and hide all trace of him so it would just be time for me. I still dreaded him coming home but it did help a bit. On the positive side, he's 10 now and we're incredibly close - it happened in it's own time and own way, just a bit more of a gradual process than quick bonding. Hang in there
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