Depersonalisation/derealisation

[gail]

Has anyone experienced any of these?

the sensation that you are not here and that nothing is real or looks real. People often say it feels like being in a dream or nightmare. its very scary and associated with acute anxiety.

[cheshire]

Hi Gail

I am really interested in this thread.
But I may not interpret it correctly...? So if I get it wrong, sorry!
But the things that came straight to my mind are as follows:

- walking through a crowd and feeling that I am not part of it, not part of the scene - like a dream or that I am a ghost or something? - Or even superimposed like a cardboard cut out and no one can see me - or the other extreme - everyone is looking at me.
- waking up in my own bed and for about 60 seconds not knowing who I am, who he is or where I am. On a couple of occasions I screamed a bit and then I slowly realised - it felt like I was piecing it back together..very very quickly
- feeling that this is not my life and this is not me, like a stranger in my own life
- I did go through a period where dreams merged with reality - and I couldn't disipher which was which...

I can believe it's associated with acute anxiety..
What have you experienced gail?

Love Hopefulxx

[Veritee]

Hi Everyone

Depersonalisation/derealisation is not that common as far as I know with PNI - but others have spoken about it and I had it a little in the early months of my illness.
I think 'Aussie Girl' was the last to mention it here:

veritee.proboards7.com/index.cgi?board=intro&action=display&n=1&thread=3427&page=2

and as you can see it is in fact a form of panic attack - strange as this may seem!

This is not a symptom that affects the majority of PNI sufferers who get panic attacks and anxiety as more usually PNI sufferers report full blown panic attacks ..

but of course this is a rarer forum of panic anyway and almost any mental or emotional disorder that involves a degree of anxiety can trigger Derealisation or Depersonalisation..

In fact while rare with PNI I did get it sometimes - I got the 'viewing the world through think glass' variety and a feeling that my own home was strange to me and I did not belong in, it and the feelings I had which were as if I had foggy or unclear vision when actually my vision was perfect was probably this too... as this can take many forms.

but it worried me less than the full blown panic attacks I also had. It was uncomfortable when it happened, but I suppose knowing what it is and not being scared of it is half the battle and because I had worked with people with mental health issues for so long I knew what it was - and this as far as anxiety and panic disorder symptoms is a comparatively mild one.

So perhaps like me now you know what it is and that it is classed as a mild symptom of depression and anxiety ( although I do know it can be very distressing) you will be able to cope with it better.

I found the best way forward with this was to just accept it was a symptom and that it would pass - and try not to focus on it as this definitely makes it worse.

Their are two ways I found of dealing with it - the first one is not to concentrate on the symptom but to try to focus on what is actually making you scared of anxious at this time, only try this when you feel safe because there is another adult with you like a husband, partner ,relative or friend who you trust.

Try then to list all the things that you are scared might happen - the what if's or what in your life is stressful at the moment ..

I would find that when this Derealisation was at its worse was when I was scared of really simple things, like my baby waking up and having to feed or change her, or that she would wake in the night and would need me ( even these simple tasks could throw me in a panic in the early days and sometimes I just would not let a full panic happen as I thought it so daft that a grown woman of nearly 40 should be scared of seeing to the simple needs of a baby) or having to drive to go shopping could mean I ended up with this feeling and everything the car, the journey would seem unreal

so I would try to work out what was frightening me, why it was frightening me and in my case because I had a private counselor - too scared to go to a NHS one and anyway they did not diagnose me probably because I hid it from them so I had to pay privately and I really could not afford this - I would store up my fears to tell my counselor and write them down in a PNI Dairy - if you sign on a s a member you could start one online here: veritee.proboards7.com/index.cgi?board=Journal

As you see I explained my experience of this on this thread too.

Its horrible isn't it , but worse when you do not really know what it is - you know what it is called so I guess you have some understanding of it

Below are the links I gave her:

www.npadnews.com/depersonalisation.asp

www.anxman.org/depersonalisation.asp

It is actually thought to be a form of panic attack!

I hope this is a bit helpful?

All the best

veritee

[gail]

thanks for your replies. they were very helpful and both of your experiences of it were very similar to mine.

it is anxiety related as im finding the less anxious i am the more normal everthing seems. its a vicious circle because the less real you feel the more you panic and then things seems even more surreal.

the turning point for me was after i had read something on the net. it said that all the weird sensations i am getting are only that. - sensations. i am creating them so i can stop them and the only way i can stop them is to try to ignore them. so now whenever i think that things dont seem real i dont panic but reassure myself that it is only a sensation- it will not and cannot harm me and think about something else.

[cheshire]

Hi Gail

I agree, fear of the fear made it much worse - and I didn't know what was wrong for ages. I don't know what the turning point for me was - probably my counsellor talking about the fact that it's only me at the end of the day 'in there', nothing to be afraid of , just to nurture and care for myself..? Not to see panic attacks, however they manifest themselves, as the 'enemy', just part of me that is scared for some reason - which might date back to a time I can't even remember. Does this make sense? And probably also learning about it PNI in general, like you did , on the net, helped loads.

Thanks
Hopefulxx

[gail]

things feel a lot more real lately, so if anyone else is experiencing this - it does subside! it takes time - like the other symptoms - to disappear.

gail
xxxx