anxiety and depression

[michellelouise]

Hi everyone - I am new on here but have found this site really useful. I would like to tell you my story quickly and wondered if anyone else feels the same way. I had my second baby back in October and for the first 6 weeks or so was OK - really tired but I obviously wasn't OK as I started to worry obsessively about my health - convinced I had this that and the other. My father in law died in the August of secondary brain cancer and an old friend of mine also died from cancer not long after my son was born. Anyway because I saw what my father in law was like when he was ill I kept thinking and still do that I am having those symptoms. I did see my GP and she put me on anti -deps and I am a lot better. I am also seeing a psychiatrist. I just wanted to know if anyone else feels not quite right sometimes - nothing specific but a bit heady as though you are going to keel over - this then starts me worrying and the anxiety kicks in that I am really ill. I have had blood tests/chest x-ray/scans of liver due to various pains I had but they were all clear. I have felt funny today and coincidentally have started my period today, so does anyone know if hormones can make you feel like this? I felt earlier today a bit unco-ordinated but can't tell if its anxiety or something else! I normally feel better in the evenings for some reason? I'm just fed up of being like this - I just want my old self back when I wasn't continually thinking there was something wrong with me!

Michelle

[cheshire]

Hi Michelle,

Welcome to the Forum

I'm sorry to hear about all that has been happening to you..

Like you, I was fine for the first 6 weeks..and also like you, there were a series of traumas (which include my nan dying of cancer and my huband having a serious cardiovascular incident) around the time of the birth..And like you, I started to compare my husband's symptoms with my physical symptoms of PNI - and concluded that the same must be about to happen to me ..but of course it didn't..

I too had the fuzzy head - so much so, that I thought (like you) that I would keel over or accidentally drop my son down the stairs - or something similar.

I have also had heart and lung scans - during pregnancy and PNI - all clear too.

I only wish I knew what caused PNI - but feel sure hormones must play a part - my symptoms were so severe and so fast in the onset - I find it hard to believe that they don't!

Anyway, just please be reassured that this does get better and that you are not alone with this illness/ these symptoms. Post whenever you need to, to offload, ask questions or just to chat..

Take Care

Love HopefulXX

[hannah457]

hi michelle.
sorry to hear about what you have been through.
my heart goes out to you.
my illness started to rear its ugly head when my son was 4 weeks old but didnt tell anyone until he reached 3mths.
i have moments throught the day when i feel so out of it.
i find having 10 mins to myself helps to clear my head.
keep in touch and let me know you are
love and thoughts
love
hannah xx

[sixfootblonde]

Hi,

Yes I too feel my balance is not right at times. Slow to right itself if I have tilted my head. My midwife, towards the end of my pregnancy, got diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour at the age of 42 I have had some really low days, and still sometimes think I have a brain tumour (the thought is always there in the background). I have some excellent days when I feel normal now, but still sink every now and then. I have not had further investigation as my symptoms are from all over the place therefore Drs. feel it is a generalised anxiety condition. This always makes me feel better, like a huge weight has been lifted for a few days. Then the anxiety comes back again. I am not depressed, just very anxious. Looking back, I was mildly anxious before I was pregnant, but am excessivly so now! Also, we thought my husband might have had cancer halfway though pregnancy (that was INCREDIBLY stressful).

Like you I just want to be normal again too

[jemma]

HI MICHELLE I FEEL LIKE THAT NOW I AM ON THIS SITE TO TRY AND DISTRACT MYSELF FROM THE ANXTIOUS STATE I AM IN I FEEL LIKE I CANT BREATH AND THAT I AM GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK . BEEN TO THE DOCS AND HE EXLAINED PNI TO ME AND THAT WHAT I AM FEELING IS ALL IN MY HEAD BUT THAT DOSNT HELP WHEN I FEEL LIKE THIS I NO IT PASSES AFTER A WHILE THEN I COYLD KICK MYSELF FOR GETTING SO WORKED UP BUT THAT DOSNT HELP WHEN ITS HAPPENING . I TO CANT WAIT TO GET MY OLD SELF BACK.

[monica]

Hi Jemma and others

PNI can hae shorrible symptoms. I always thought it was just depression (beofre getting it) but I've been plagued with loads of physical probs. Panic attacks are horrible adn frightening especially if you don't know what they are. But you won't die of them. It's just the flight or fight response. You;ve thought of something stressful or something is making you stressed and your body is reacting by getting ready to fight or flee. But of course you're not doing either so you get the pounding heart. It's good toget these things checked out by a dr, just to give you peace of mind.

have you tried breathing/relaxation techniques. Concentrating on long breaths - in and out - can take the edge of it. It can take practise. Or tensing up for several seconds then letting go.

My cpn recommeded rescue remedy. You can buy it at tescos, boots. It a liquid which you put a couple of drops of onto your tongue or add to a bottle of water. That' might help but it won't harm you and it's supposed to help with anxiety/stress.

Do you know what's triggering your anxiety attack? Maybe try and confron that fear. For instance, I used to (and still doa bit) obsess about illnesses. If I had a cold I'd thing it's something terminal. Try writing down evidence for your fear and against and more often that not you'll see that your fear has much exaggerated. I do this in my head and it does hlep.

I used to feel like you do. After they pass you feel almost stupid for not being able to control them. But they are horrible.

Monica

[jemma]

thanks monica think i will try rescue remedy anything is worth a try been ok this last couple of weeks only a couple of episodes , you asked what caused the attack not sure i was in a social environment that i had have not been in since the birth and with people i have not spoken to since the were asking questions and think it just brought it all back to me and now looking at it i think i must be quiet badly troumertised by it . normaly i set my self of by obsessing about my health thinking there is somtehing wrong with me .
oh well as i say not been to bad latley just taking one day at a time