bAD PANIC

[JDM as guest]

hI

i JUST WONDERED FOR reassurance really a few things. Today when I have been talking I felt like my tongue was too big for my month and I was talking funny. Tonight I got really wound up about it and was convinced my tongue was twitching and I could ot speak, every time I wanted to speak it made me feel physically sick, my Husband has tried to re-assure me I sound fine and my mouth is not twitching but it feels real to me like under my chin is really heavy and my tongue wont work properly. I have been really manic for the last two hours and panicky feeling like I am going to di and I just wanted to know if anyone else has acute anxiety for long periods such as 2 hours solid with no real break. I managed to sit down on here and talk to you sll snd grdually I am caliming down. But I am starting to worry again re the brain mtumors etc causing it and what if I cant speak tommorrow at work? Any support would really help tonight x

JDM

[cheshire]

Hi JDM,

Sorry noone got to you last night - how are you this morning & did you manage to sleep?

I've experienced panic attacks that can go on for quite a while - and with me, my breathing is affected. I think it must affect us all in different ways, the anxiety and panic, but not really sure.

I just hope work is ok for you todayxxx

[JDM not logged]

Hi Hopeful

Slept not bad but woke about 5 with butterflies in my stomach and an overwhelming urge to run!??! So got up and did a few things breathing was quite rapid for a while but eventually calmed down. At work things not so bad still think my tongue feels funny and I am not talking right but no one else seems to think i so will keep quite. To make me feel even worse my son cried when I left him at day care (I am sure he picks up on my mood) and that also really upset me this am so had a few tears on the way to work. I have been thinking a lot about the effect my mental health will have on him, and if he will remember me this way, my Husband says he is too yong (nearly 3) but just wondered what you guys thought and if it worries you at all.

Thanks for the support Hopeful, you always seem to be there for me when I have posted and for that I am very gratefulx

[monica]

Hi Jdm

I used to have what I thought was a prob with speaking and I used to panic at the thought it brain tumour, but I think it's a form of panic attack/stress. And a sort of vicious circle - the more you think about it, the worse it gets and on and on.

I found that a distraction can really help - just anything to stop you thinking and dweeling on it. I know that's so hard at times. I also used to have numb patches, tingling and a few other symptoms liek that which would make me think that in a few days time I would not be able to walk - but I always did and it's prob the same with you. You said that 'what happens if I can't talk tomorrow?' , but you'll find that you will. Go and see your dr to reassurance if it's worrying you.

My kids have always loved their childminder but even then there always had the occasional time where they';ve cried when leaving them and that's what kids do.

Love

Monica

[Veritee]

Dear JDM

I wanted to say something re:

will your child remember your PNI or be affected by it

I believe I had recovered pretty much by the time my daughter was 5 but I did suffer severely for the first three to five years of her life at least..

I was talking to my 17 year old daughter today about how my PNI affected her ( when I was ill I thought that she would be acutely affected by my PNI and indeed severely damaged by it - or perhaps even hate me for it )

She says she has no recollection about my being ill in any way and the only reason she knows I had PNI was because I run this site and as she got older she has taken an interest in what I do.

She says my illness affected her not a bean all she remembers was a 'normal' mum who did what she needed and she had a perfectly 'normal' life.

In fact the only way it has effected her is my latter constant worrying that it has affected her and in her older years - since she was about 15 ,my referring to it and asking her if the fact of my PNI has altered her in some way??

This she admits has got on here nerves and as also has my occasional guilt that sometimes when she is 'being a teenager' as she puts it and being uncooperative or difficult - that I get guilty and put it down to my PNI when in her opinion it has nothing to do with it.

She feels is just behaving like the teenager she is and wants to have the freedom to do so without feeling she has to protect me from feeling guilty about it and blaming my PNI - when she can not even remember my ever having had PNI....

So in my case I feel I have to believe it from the horses mouth and at 17 my daughter is old enough to know her own feelings

And her feelings are that my PNI did not affect her and she does not even remember it - but sometimes my guilt at having had PNI does

All the best

Veritee

[JDM not logged]

Thanks for that Veritee, it is very re-assuring to hear that. I really hope he does not as it could be very distressing I think when he is older and he has a partner who is having a child then I will tell him about it in order that he can offer support and ask me for support, who know by then the treatment of women may be very different for PNI I certainly hope so.

Can I just say thanks to everyone who replies to my posts, the reason it takes a while for me to reply is that we no longer have a pc at home so I have to wait until I am at work mostly to log on.

You are as ever my saving grace

JDMxxx

[jemma]

I GET THIS TOO! THANK GOD THERE ARE OTHERS AND IM NOT GOING MAD IT IS A ANXIETY ATTACK I FEEL LIKE MY TOUNGE IS TO BIG FOR MY MOUTH AND THAT SOON I WONT BE ABLE TO BREATH ANY MORE I GET IN A RIGHT STATE THAT DOSNT HELP JUST MAKES IT WORSE NO ANY THING THAT MY HELP THIS TO PASS

JEMMA X

[matty]

Hello JDM

I had this twitching of mouth and tounge whilst in mother and baby unit and I was told that it's a side effect of the anti-depressant I was on at the time. Are you on any medications? Occasionally I was also dribbling...another side effect!
But when I had these panic attacks before I even realised that I had PNI, I also felt as if my tounge was too big for my mouth. I also almost suffocated and felt physically sick with fear and panic.Nightmare
Question: were anyone's panic attacks related to a fear of something specific or did they just seem to happen for no reason? Mine were always about the same thing : I thought my partner hired someone to kill me so that he could have our baby all to himself..I honestly believed that.I was convinced I was going to die

Matty

[melly]

just bringing this post forward as i get mad panics for a few hour where im high, usually first thing in the morning. Also i thought i was feeling so ill and dying coz my partner was putting poision in my tea.

[winegirl]

I wake up with bad panics every morning that can go on for hours, sometimes all day. Its cack to wake up to, but know it will get better x