devastated by my cpn

[lazytown]

ok so i bit the bullet after really losing it yestersay and left a message for my cpn to call me back so I could tell her things are a lot worse than they were and pls can i have some help - i was so frightened that thi smeant my son would be taken away from me but i took the chance and called.

I have just heard from the cpn that was going to call me and basically it was a complete waste of time. She asked what was going on and I explained in brutal honesty - she said she didnt know what else to with me because im on the list for psychology. I said I have been on that list for 2.5years. I asked where I was on the list and she said she didnt know but would hopefully there was a a team meeting next week so she would mention it then to see if they could find out where i am on the list and that was it?

but now I feel so stupid why did i eveen bother phoning and letting my defences down andbegging for help when all i get told is what i already knew?

Im so sorry to go on im just so devestated - I was hoping the cpnshe would have found out where i was on the list before calling me then at least she would have something to tell me?

whats the point anymore

[winegirl]

Hi Lazytown

Appauling that she didnt even come out to see you! Next time you feel at crisis point i suggest you ring someone like the Samaritans who might initially be more helpful.

On top of that I would go back to the GP and lay it on for him/her too telling them that you cant go on like this, it seems you have been waiting way too long for your appointment to me and they need to understand how badly you need it.

Would you not consider the meds again in the interim?

WG x

[lazytown]

Yes but the gp's surgery feel i dont need them and ive seen 3 there so obviously im must be making it up or completely mental

[sianyc]

Did you tell the GP exactly what you're feeling like?

Failing them prescribing meds for you lovely, you're always welcome to talk to us here and perhpas consider alterntive therapies? I had very bad mood swings and take Evening Primrose, Vitamin B complex and agnus castus. They took about 2 months to kick in for me but really levelled my moods and improved my PMT. They by no means got rid of anything but I have noticed a marked difference in my moods.

St John's Wort is also a natural herbal anti depressant and there is some info on her about that.

Don't let the medical professions attuitude to this drag you any further down. You can get over this and we will help in any way we can x

[gilly]

hi

i am so sorry you have had this experience but i am not really suprised. i tried to tell mine i wanted to die and she said to me

"the worst thing that can happen to a child is to have one of there parents commit suicide!!"

i was so vulranable and depressed how could she say that and of course i vowed never to mention that to her again i would just deal with it myself. at the time she was the only support i was geting too so like you i had to turn to this site and i am so pleased i did.

sorry you are feeling so poorly i think i would keep at the GP and try to see the same one everytime you go that way they can see how bad you are and you are not getting different opinions.

some one told me to eat bananas, pumkin and sunflower seeds they are all ment to have a positive effect on depression or something.

take care Gxxx

[zoe hicks]

so so sorry for you when they want to crack down on you society will ie social services etc but when you ask for help they deny you when will it stop , i feel for you so much and i dont know what else to offer except ultimate support xx you didnt let your defences down at all! you asked for help thats all and that is good it shows you are aware of how you feel xx you are strong for knowing those feelings so keep fighting xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[rachelk]

Lazytown,
This is really bad. I know exactly how you feel, but ultimately you have asked for help and been honest and they have failed to respond. You need to try and use your anger positively. Store it up and save it till you feel better then make a formal complaint.

I have just started a thread on this site about the NHS failures. I know it's not exactly the same, but I am approx 5 monts into PNI and feel that I am starting to make a recovery. It is now that I am looking back and feeling very, very angry and resentful about how appaling the whole system has been. I had my boy in Aug, HV gave my PNI questionnaire at 12 weeks and told me I may need to see GP as I scored very high. She was right and within a few weeks of that I went into total meltdown and basically fought each day to stop myself from committing suicide. My son is now 7.5 months and I saw HV last week at his 7 month review. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE SEEN HER SINCE 12 WEEK QU WHEN SHE TOLD ME SHE THOUGHT I HADS PNI!! How wrong is that? I have never been to have him weighed etc...Don't you think they should be checking on people like us? Crazy system.

Anyway, as I said, I am feeling better and am sure that I will use this anger for positive reasons at some point in the future.

Rachel
x