ups and downs

[francoise]

i cant do that jennie , i told u eh on the phone , its never really been an issue for me , i want to live to much , thats why im upset today cause i cant feel normal in myself , i cant stay in control of my thoughts , it scares me to death and then i think im dieing and i dont want to scares me to , its all a bag of shit eh

[francoise]

dunno do u think i could get away with one

[francoise]

im going to go off for a while now , thanks girls sees ya later when im abit calmer


love francoise xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[francoise]

i have decided on not deleting my posts in this thread as i want the other girls and any new people to see how common these variations of mood are ,i suffered horrendously this morning with a very big downer ,
i have just come off the phone to nhs direct and i have been talking for must be an hour near enough to them, it was a lovely lady who said she herself had pni and she said it was hellish ,she described what was happening with my breathing and why my peak flow was good even though i thought i was being suffocated,she explained how the traumas of birth can affect us and the worries of the babies being carried on into worries of lots of things around us ,anyway after talking to her , which was great and a big THANKYOU to anna for pressuring me into phoning ,anyway afterwards i had a wash and got changed and fed the bab , had a play with him and had a full bottle of water nice n cold and i freel loads more better , just might warn you though i might talk about these feelings for some time to come as they gave me quite a big reminder of how pni comes back and bites us on the arse and its when we think we r getting better , but its usdually short lived as we know the ways to deal with it i think after a while but thanks veritee ,it did cross my mind that veritee hated me today n cokey and others , dont ask me why i have stupid notions sometimes ,well as long as i dont get kicked out i would like to keep this thread going as a kind of journal to show how things can change so quickly ,please girls add ytour experineces to as i think we could really benefit from offloading our scary times and then looking back at them ,
love francoise


still off the fags but almost had a brandy ,oh n the anti biotics dont mess with the anti d,s

[francoise]

yeah jennie im sorry about that hunny , i really am.,

[francoise]

yeah how did u know that

[francoise]

aw babe have a brandy and a chill hun , ive worn ure head out i think , yeah i will look at ure stuff babe loads and always be appreciative for sure ;D

[annag]

yeah me too you stink, you sound very attractive from the description you give Jennie

[Veritee]

Hi Fran

Yes keep this thread for yourself - to document your moods etc - I found I would go up and down so much with PNI.

why on earth did you think I hated you today - I do not hate anyone?

I did not see your posts earlier as Barry flew back to join his ship yesterday and I did not sleep much - never do for a few days after he first goes back - and could not concentrate much on the forum earlier.

But I do know also how easy it is to feel disliked when your mood swings like this - I used to find this and not only did I think everyone hated me -I hated everyone else!! My thoughts could be quite evil!

I am not suggesting yu feel like this - this was how I felt.

Anyway no one hates you and I am sure you like all of us?

The smoking or lack of it really will not help you to feel even at the moment. In fact if I was asked I would say that while not smoking is better for your physical health - it may not be the right time for you to try to give up right now.

I don't want to discourage you if you really want to give it a go. But there will be plenty of time to give up when you are better and you are goingto be better for a lot longer than you were ill.

As else someone said ( Wendy I think) ciggs are really very addictive, I have actually read stuff that said, more so than heroin, only it does not even make you feel good!*!*So you don't notice until you try to give up.

I found that this wwas true.

Are you using anyhting to help ie patches etc - this can help

I agree with have a brandy or two and relax now


Love Veritee

[susie]

Hi Fran,

I am so sorry I wasnt around this morning when you were feeling so low, I am glad ( if thats the right word!) that you phoned nhs and felt better for it, I remember when I was starting to recover that the lows were so awful when they hit in, I think its because you start to get used to feeling a bit better, so when you get a low it really hits hard. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you, I really do, and also no-one hates you, I think you are lovely and kind and caring take care honey

Susie
x

[francoise]

thanks girls
im way better now been shifting pc,s around the house ,of course jennie post some more im totally addicted to ure posts

im unsure bout the fags ,i had a few puffs just now ,made me quite dizzy but chilled to hmmmm tis a difficult one to conquer at the best of times

[wendabell]

oh fran im sorry i missed you when you were so low....sending you a personal message now.....

[francoise]

thanks wendy

it feels so much better today , yeah roll on the good days more eh