Are we not all equal as mums?

[banana]

Hi all,

Just wanted to express my feelings about something.

Last wednesday I went to an open day for this baby/toddler music workshop. Recommended age was from 6 months to about 5 years. Isabelle is only 4 months but she is so responsive to music and singing etc that I thought I would take her anyway to see if it would be worthwhile signing up for a course so that she could interact with other children and play with the instruments etc.... even if she couldnt sing along. Anyway the problem was not her age, despite her being at least a year younger than the any of the other children.

MY PROBLEM WAS THE OTHER MOTHERS!!!!!!

I mean to cause no offence to anyone but why is it that some people feel that they have the right to look down their nose at you? I thought that it would be a good way to meet other mums, an activity Izzy and myself could both benefit from. I just felt that with being a young mum I was looked down upon by a few mums who thought it was their god given right to think they were better than me. I tried to start a converstion with one of them and she just sort of smiled at me and gave me a look of astonishment that I dared speak to her.

I was, needeless to say, a bit hurt. I consider myself to be a very presentable, down to earth, friendly young woman - I was made to feel like I wasnt good enough to be in the same room as these other mums. I swear they were all sat there thinking i couldnt possibly afford the £90 fee for the course.

Anyway, i just wanted to vent my anger on this as i decided against joining because of the frosty reception from some of the other mums. Maybe next time i decide to try a group like this i'll remember to turn up in my strech limo, prada handbag and gucci shoes......... just to make sure i fit in!

anyone else experience anything like this?

lana

[supernature]

oh yes, I've had that, very clicky group, I went a few times, but gave up, they never spoke to anyone else but each other and if I tried to speak they would listen and then carry on with their own conversations. Its not looking down their nose at you they are just ignorant and rude. At least you can say your better than they are, at least you spoke to them, they should be grateful!!!

I gave up, but that was when I was feeling really bad, now I wouldn't, I would go to spite them. After all you are doing it for your child, just smile nicely and ignore them.

Jude

[time]

Hi Lana

I felt a little like you when i first started taking my eldest daughter to toddler groups. It does seem as though everyone alredy knows each other and sre not going to talk to you. BUT, i carried on going and one woman - who was there with her great-granddaughter - spoke to me and included me in her group. Well, i have been going to that same toddler group now for 4 years and everyone talks to everyone else. We do try to make an effort to talk to others because it can be very nerve wracking going into a group, but my advice is to stick with it. It will benefit both you and Isabelle to mix with other mums and their babies.

I found that taking my children to the tots group taught them about interacting with others in a way that i could never teach them. they learnt from their experiences which granted were not always good ones but i know that my eldest is now a very popular little girl.

Anyway i hope that this helps
Time

[monica]

Hi Lana

You know when you read the mags and they say join a mother's group etc you'll make loads of friends. Well, a couple I went to were really cliquey, it was so hard to join in and I'd feel so stupid just sitting there. At least before PMI I was a very outgoing person with lots of friends and never had probs making friends, but suddenly found it difficult to join in asif I couldn't be accepted.

I always now make the effort to speak to new mums as I know what its like.

[Vikki]

Hi Lana

I think we are about the same age, and i always feel that other mums look down on me because of my age.

I avoid everything where there are other mums, I always think that people will think i am a typical teenage mother, although i'm not a teenager now, but that i am a bad mother beacause I am young.

I know it's paranoia, but I just cant help,well done for trying a group, maybe a local toddler group might be better?

Don't let them put you off, I know that sometimes there are womwn at these places who want to be better than everyone else, but like you say, we are all created equal, so we should be able to feel secure wherever we take out children!!!