Can't go back to work yet

[anita123]

I thought by the end of Jan that i could maybe go back to work but my PNI is getting worse and i can't face it at the moment. Problem is we need some extra money comming in so it looks like i haven't got a choice no matter how i am feeling. What can i do??? It is making me feel extremly anxious and upset!

[Scarlet]

Anita,

You are getting better hun, but because it's a very slow process and we are constantly up and down during recovery, it can sometimes feel as if we are getting worse and aren't recovering, when this is not the case. What is your job Anita? and is it possible to go p/t for a while? Sometimes it can actually help to get back to work and can take our minds off our PNI and thus we recover sooner, having less time to dwell on our symptoms.

The end of January is a month away and a lot can happen in a month. Some of the other ladies who went back to work can perhaps give you more reassurance. What does your OH say?

Love and hugs

Scarlet
X

[anita123]

I work as a veterinary nurse, my work won't let me go back to wqork part time and they want me to carry on with shifts which is just impossible

[Scarlet]

Anita hun,

I can understand about the shift work, do you have to work nights? or is it just day time? If you don't feel well enough to go back, you could always go to your GP and ask for a couple of months extended leave due to ill health. Would your employee mind this and would the sick pay be enough for you to live on for another couple of months Anita? Have you spoken to anyone about this? Could you talk to your employer and ask if you could start off by going in a couple of days a week and build it up, would this be possible?

Please try not to stress yourself out about this (I know it's hard), and remember that you are recovering. Are you taking any ADs? or having counselling (sorry of you've mentioned this before). Sometimes it's helpful just to talk things through.

Hugs

Scarlet
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[anita123]

Yes on Prozac although have stopped councilling at the moment as have moved and need to find a new gp and councillor. No don't have to do night but do have to do weekends and bank hols as well as being on call. My employers really don't understand trust me i have been through hell and back with them.

[Scarlet]

Anita,

Sorry to hear that your employers are less than understanding. Maybe you could go back to work at the end of January and give it perhaps a month and see how it goes, and if you don't feel well after that time then sign off on sick leave for another month of two...would that be possible? You are doing very well, and you have had a couple of good days, so you are recovering and sometimes thinking too much about something when we are having a blip can make us feel worse and we dwell too much and worry unnecessarily, so give it a day or two and re-evaluate hun, I should.

I hope some of the other ladies who have experienced going back to work will respond to you and give you better advice, but know that we are always here for you.

Love and hugs

Scarlet
X

[anita123]

Thanks Scarlet XX

[Bobyn]

Hi Anita,
For me returning to work was helpful as it gives me some time out from being a Mummy, but I can understand that if you don't feel happy at work or comfortable with your employer then you might not feel that way! Have you asked them formally to consider you for flexible working as per the government legislation? Sometimes a well worded letter helps! Try looking at www.workingfamilies.org.uk as I know they're helpful in things like that.

If not, and you need the money, then you could go back whilst whilst looking for another job, or try a few days and then go to see your GP to have some time off. What's your situation with sick pay like?

Sometimes the thought of things is worse than the reality, I feel like that alot when I have a day ahead with no plans and the 2 girls at home, but often the day turns out ok. If it doesn't then when they go to bed at least I know that day is over, perhaps you could just count the hours when you're there if possible to get through the bad days.

You might feel better by the end of January, not fully recovered but well enough to return at least a few days a week. Can you afford to stay part time long term? And what childcare do you have in place as that stress doesn't help sometimes?
Love, Bobyn x

[winegirl]

Hi Anita

I was due back to work in October 2006 and managed to put it off till Jan 2007. I wasnt ready and did nothing but come on here panicing about it for months in advance. I had no choice, I had to go back for financial reasons. I cried most days at the the fear of going back when I was still so ill. i would get sick and dizzy all day every day with nerves and didnt know how I would manage at work.

I wont lie to you, the first week was sooo hard. But it started to get easier, and I now realise it was the best thing I could have done. I really feel it has helped my recovery speed up, and whilst there are days that really arent easy, I do manage and know that tomorrow is another day.

I knwo you will be ok, and if you ever want to chat about your concerns re: returning to work please feel free to pm me anytime x

Take Care

WG x

[carol]

Hi Anita,

I came back to work when my little one was 6 months old 4 full days a week, and was diagnosed with PNI when he was 16 months old. After a month off work and returning half days for two weeks I was able to build up. I am lucky that I work for a brilliant company who puts work life balance and employee welfare high up on its list of objectives. I have a childminder and I fly off in a panic though when she cannot take little one, even though I can work from home. Anything from my normal daily pattern makes me panicky, but I find work helpful. Good luck xoxoxoxox Carol

[anita123]

I have decided not to return to my old job, couldn't even if i wanted to...they refused my flexitime (9-5 full time) they thought it wouldn't be fair on the rest of the staff and wanted me to carry on working shifts which can start as early as 8am and finish as late as 8pm or sometimes later!! Its a shame as i trained so hard for my position there, but they just not willing to budge at all. Work was really stressing me out and are still making me very stressed as soon as i think about it i panic....meant to be going back next week but due to the reasons above and the anxiety i get (even now when i am typing) i really can't go back. Will see the doc next week and see if she will sign me off and maybe i will stop feeling anxious about it....but overall i am feeling better and once this is off my mind i think i will be able to cope a little better.
So I decided that it is a new year and new start and so I would find a new job in a different field. Sent out my CV today for a possible job comming up in the future so cross fingers that works out. I think going back to work may be the best thing, adult conversation and actually getting out and about may do me some good. Very nervous about a new job but i suppose everyone is.
Sorry about bleeting on thought i should write it down and get it all out of my head and also see what other people think. Am i doing the right thing??

Anita xx

[anita123]

Got a reply to my CV and they want me to go in on the 29th for a discussion of what the job involves and guess what i am actually looking forward to going!!