Night-time problems

[flobob]

Hello
My boy is now 22 months old. And he's been a good sleeper for most of his life ... he'd be happy to be left on his own in his cot and if he woke in the night he'd settle down again on his own.

But since the end of November he won't go to bed unless I'm in the room with him - generally lying next to him on the bed. And when I try to creep out of the room he gets upset and I have to go back. If I wait until he's asleep then creep out the creaky floorboards or my creaky joints wake him and he cries. If I do get away when he wakes later he cries again and gets out of bed.

I think I've done everything wrong because we've had a few changes recently. Firstly we moved house in October. Then in mid November he started climbing out of his cot and because we thought that was dangerous we converted it into a bed. For the first fortnight he was fine with that - he would be happy to get into bed and happy to stay there on his own until he fell asleep. Then a week later we started potty training. And a week after that he got a cold and that is when he started getting upset and difficult at bed time and in the night. The cold has gone now. But also he's teething now with molars so that might be affecting him too.

Last night I ended up driving with him at 4am just to get him to sleep after nearly 3 hours of him being awake and unsettled.

He doesn't really need a sleep in the day time any more.

On New Year's Eve we went to a party and he stayed up until 9.45pm and then fell asleep within 15 mins.

What can I do? Should I let him stay up until he just is so tired that he won't argue and falls asleep really quickly? Or will that mean it is really difficult to get him to sleep at a reasonable time when we want him to again?

If you have any advice it would be great. Thank you.

FloBob

[flobob]

Oh and the other thing I meant to say was that he's now eating and drinking loads. I'm OK with that because he's hardly likely to become overweight! But when he wakes in the night he wants a drink of milk, which isn't a problem as such, I'm just worried that there's something wrong with him which is why he is so hungry and thirsty.

Yesterday he had 2 weetabix for breakfast and then at my parents he ate 3 bowls of stew and 2 yoghurts for lunch and then bread and cheese, cereal bar and raisins for tea. Then 2 bottles of milk at 5.30pm. And still wanted a drink in the middle of the night. Maybe he's having too much and that is why he's awake in the night - tummy ache?

Thank you again
FloBob

[Scarlet]

Hiya Flobob,

Sounds like there's been a lot of recent changes and this has affected his sleeping pattern. That and maybe his teeth.

My LO is teething (16 months old) with his back ones, and is waking up loads during the night at the moment, but he's never been a good sleeper like your LO.

With my eldest I used to keep him awake until late, and then when he was around 3, I started putting him to bed earlier and he adapted really well and there was no problem, so you could try this. Just a thought but is he getting enough exercise during the day that will tire him out hun?

It could be that your son is waking up hungry, and is used to having a middle of the night bottle and so expects it. I stopped my LO's night-time drink because of this, and also becasue he would wake up with a leaked nappy. Maybe you could try cutting it out and seeing how it goes.

Have you tried the controlled crying technique hun? It can take a week or two, but I have heard other mums swear by it...not me yet though have to say, it did work for a while, but these blooming teeth after a cold have thrown him out again. I most definitely will try it again though when his back teeth have cut.

Scarlet
X

[flobob]

Thanks for your thoughts Scarlet.
If you say that getting an earlier bedtime for your 3 year old was fine then maybe we'll try later bedtimes for a while and change back in the future. But I am reluctant as I need my rest in the evenings!

He's not used to a middle of the night bottle - he hasn't had that for so long I can't remember when! He has just started asking this week.

Exercise! Yep, he gets that. He doesn't stop moving all day. We go out places - for walks or to somewhere indoors to play or to the park or in the garden. And he is so busy running about at home even if we stay in. I'm exhausted just thinking about all this activity. On Tuesdays he's with my parents and they say he's the same there and on Weds he's at nursery and so has plenty of outlet for his energy.

I'll have to look up the controlled crying thing - not sure of what I'm supposed to do ... I obviously haven't tried it yet. I'm not very good at structure and give in easily because I'm so tired.

Thank you thank you thank you

[Scarlet]

Hmmm it's difficult isn't it Flobob getting a baby into a routine, and part of me thinks it's impossible anyway, as they are unpredictable little urchins normally

Yes I did let my eldest stay up til we went to bed until he was 3, and then he adapted well to going to bed at 8pm and this coincided with pre-school anyway. Mind you I imagine it would be very draining having to occupy a toddler until 11pm. My LO generally goes between 8-9pm at the moment

Re the controlled crying, I used to watch House of Tiny Tearaways and this is the method they used. Here's the technique

raisingchildren.net.au/articles/controlled_comforting.html


Hope you get a good night sleep tonight.

when I wake up around 4am, I'll be thinking of you driving round in your car, trying to get your LO to sleep but will hope you are tucked up in bed having lovely dreams instead. ;D

Scarlet
X

[flobob]

Hello Scarlet
Thanks for the link - I've had a quick look and will read it properly soon. It does say not to do it if baby is ill so I won't attempt it this week as I do think he is teething. But if once the tooth arrives he is still behaving like this then I'll give it a try. God it sounds hard though.

Tonight LO is asleep already ... after just 30 mins, phew!

I'm off to bed too so at least if he is awake in the early hours I might be a bit rested.

FloBob

[flobob]

hehe, I may have solved this problem.
Yesterday we were out until 6.30pm and when we got home LO went in the living room which was all dark but that was OK because the hall light was on. Then I finished in the hall, turned the light off and went straight in the living room and put that light on. But LO was upset on his own in the dark. Got me thinking ... so I left the landing light on all night and although I heard him wake around 11pm and 1am he didn't cry and get up. So seems as if he has just started to get scared of the dark. We'll see how it goes with the landing light on but I'll be so pleased if that is the end of the sleepless nights.

He woke and got up at 3.15am and did a wee on his potty and then went straight back to bed. I told him I was going to the bathroom to empty his potty and that I'd be back. But when I got back I didn't go in - thought I'd wait until he cried for me - but he didn't cry at all and was asleep again quickly.

So I've also slept last night - probably 6 hours and feel so much better for it. Fingers crossed it will continue.
FloBob

[Scarlet]

oooo Flobob, glad you may have put your finger on the reason. Fingers crossed that's all it was and that you get a good night sleep from now on. Why don't you get one of those little night lights that you can plug in, I had one for my eldest.

Love Scarlet
X
BTW you were up early though judging byt he time of your post, couldn't sleep yourself hun???

[flobob]

I think a nightlight would be too tempting for my little curious boy and he'd be up investigating and playing with it! Might stick with the landing light.

What happens is that I get up with him when he wants a wee and then I just can't get back to sleep. I did try and stayed in bed until 4.30am but knew by then that I wouldn't get any more sleep so just got up. But as I say I had slept maybe 6 hours and that is about what I would have way-back-when before I was pregnant, so made me feel fine and quite normal ;D

FloBob

[carol]

Hi FloBob sounds like you cracked it. Never easy is it. If only they came with an instruction manual. I am very routine based I'm afraid. it doesn't help though when on holiday or times you want to bend the rules, however it works for me. Bath at 6pm - In the Night Garden with a cup of milk and then when CBBs closes down he picks up his favourite toy and thats a sign he wants to go to bed. Its then a little play in his cot, a story and lights out. He's nowhere near to potty training yet and I'm reluctant to convert his bed yet (OK yes I'm a coward) Fingers crossed all continues to go well. Love Carol
PS when he did wake in the night when he was younger for a drink I gave him water. He soon got fed up and stopped waking for a drink.

[stevensmummy]

Hi flobob,

Glad to hear you are getting on better, my eldeat waent thro a spate of beng afraid of the dark, but he seems ok now.

We had an app with a sleep therapist for my eldeat (he has night terrors) and i put in the basics of what was said to us in Scarlets post in the 'babies and children in general' section, I think she headed it daytime naps or something like that. If you are interested take a peek. The advice really helped us.

Sarah x

[flobob]

Hello Carol
Thanks for the tip on the water. I have stopped giving him milk in the night now and am only giving him water if he asks for a drink - but for 2 nights now he hasn't asked so that might be working.

We had to convert his cot to a bed as he was climbing out of the cot. Scary thoughts of him falling and hurting himself!

And thank you Sarah. I've replied to you on Scarlet's post. What you said did help me and LO is easier to settle back to sleep now even though he is still waking and crying out. He used to settle himself back so I'm finding it hard to adjust to him being this needy now.

Cheers everyone, FloBob