Post by flobob on Apr 19, 2008 20:30:30 GMT
Hello
I am feeling OK, but I just want to get something off my chest and thought I'd put it here as it isn't a real problem and just "chatting" to my friends.
My OH has been ill today and it has made me furious with him. He works away all week so if I'm ill in the week I just have to keep going for LO because there is no-one else here to take over. But he comes home on Friday night and if he feels grotty at the weekend he just expects me to deal with LO and disappears off to the bath or bed. He doesn't even ask if I am OK to look after LO!
But I feel guilty for moaning on because actually we all went out this morning because I had an opticians appointment and I wanted him to come with me to give his opinion on new glasses - I hate choosing glasses! So he did come and didn't moan about all that hanging round. Then after lunch I went out to maternity yoga class (which I started last week). Now normally he'd be looking after LO at that time, but LO was asleep, so he just laid on the sofa the whole time. Oh bliss! When LO sleeps in the afternoons in the week, which is such a rare thing anyway, I always feel SOOOOO guilty if I don't get on with chores that I rarely just lie down - maybe I should? But the guilt!!!!
LO slept for 3 hours this afternoon! Then got up about 20 mins before I came home. When I got home OH was giving LO his tea in front of the TV - which I have asked him not to do, because it drives me mad when kids take hours to eat because they're so engrossed in the TV - my friend's little boy used to do that! Yes, yes, it's not important. Anyway I know it aint important so I didn't say anything or moan about that.
OH was telling me how bad he was feeling - it's just earache. But I told him that I have real difficulty feeling any sympathy for him because of what I said earlier about no-one taking over from me in the week. And as soon as he starts telling me about how bad he's feeling I just know what's coming - that he'll soon disappear to rest - and that just gets me riled instead of sympathetic.
LO has been ill with a cough for a couple of weeks. The first week it also made him physically sick. So I was dealing with sick boy and clearing up sick on my own. Completely gross and difficult because LO wants holding but the sick needs to be cleared. He was generally sick in bed at night so of course that involved change of pyjamas and bedclothes. And because he's ill he's been waking in the night.
Friday night was the first night that LO slept through the night for a fortnight. But OH bl***dy woke me at 3am to tell me that he was feeling so bad and was going to have a hot bath to make him feel better. Gee thanks! Actually I didn't go mad in the night, too dopey to even be angry at that time. And I even managed to say "have you taken some painkillers?"
Then this morning LO woke at 6am with lots of crying and wanting milk. Normally he's a ray of sunshine when he wakes up! I went downstairs to get him milk, but I didn't fill the bottle enough for his liking and he moaned and cried about that too. All through this OH slept - or pretended to! And that drives me mad too? When he did wake up I asked him why he didn't help me earlier and he said because he hadn't slept in the night. Welcome to my life! I don't sleep at night - proved by how often I'm on here at 3am - and yet I still have to get up with LO at whatever time he graces the world.
But after all this moaning, in fairness to my OH, he did look really dreadful this afternoon. And I should be more sympathetic but I just can't be in my head. And I can't even pretend to be sympathetic outwardly when my head is so angry. Because all this time whilst I was ill - our LO has just turned 2 - he didn't give me the sympathy or support I needed. So why should I care about him is what my head shouts at me! And the answer is of course because I love him. But that doesn't help because he didn't support me because of love.
Last Thursday night, after LO being ill for 4 days, OH came home from work a day early. That is the first time in 2 years that he has taken a day off to come home to help me. And then he was great on the Friday ... but I had to do some work myself so didn't get any rest. And then on the Saturday he turned in to moody sod and moaned on about the fact that there was no food in the house - yeah, like when was I going to go shopping with ill LO and all my own work to do? So I get one day of support and sympathy and then back to being moaned at.
God, haven't I gone on? I would love to hear from you as to whether I'm just a moany cow or what. But please be gentle with me.
FloBob
I am feeling OK, but I just want to get something off my chest and thought I'd put it here as it isn't a real problem and just "chatting" to my friends.
My OH has been ill today and it has made me furious with him. He works away all week so if I'm ill in the week I just have to keep going for LO because there is no-one else here to take over. But he comes home on Friday night and if he feels grotty at the weekend he just expects me to deal with LO and disappears off to the bath or bed. He doesn't even ask if I am OK to look after LO!
But I feel guilty for moaning on because actually we all went out this morning because I had an opticians appointment and I wanted him to come with me to give his opinion on new glasses - I hate choosing glasses! So he did come and didn't moan about all that hanging round. Then after lunch I went out to maternity yoga class (which I started last week). Now normally he'd be looking after LO at that time, but LO was asleep, so he just laid on the sofa the whole time. Oh bliss! When LO sleeps in the afternoons in the week, which is such a rare thing anyway, I always feel SOOOOO guilty if I don't get on with chores that I rarely just lie down - maybe I should? But the guilt!!!!
LO slept for 3 hours this afternoon! Then got up about 20 mins before I came home. When I got home OH was giving LO his tea in front of the TV - which I have asked him not to do, because it drives me mad when kids take hours to eat because they're so engrossed in the TV - my friend's little boy used to do that! Yes, yes, it's not important. Anyway I know it aint important so I didn't say anything or moan about that.
OH was telling me how bad he was feeling - it's just earache. But I told him that I have real difficulty feeling any sympathy for him because of what I said earlier about no-one taking over from me in the week. And as soon as he starts telling me about how bad he's feeling I just know what's coming - that he'll soon disappear to rest - and that just gets me riled instead of sympathetic.
LO has been ill with a cough for a couple of weeks. The first week it also made him physically sick. So I was dealing with sick boy and clearing up sick on my own. Completely gross and difficult because LO wants holding but the sick needs to be cleared. He was generally sick in bed at night so of course that involved change of pyjamas and bedclothes. And because he's ill he's been waking in the night.
Friday night was the first night that LO slept through the night for a fortnight. But OH bl***dy woke me at 3am to tell me that he was feeling so bad and was going to have a hot bath to make him feel better. Gee thanks! Actually I didn't go mad in the night, too dopey to even be angry at that time. And I even managed to say "have you taken some painkillers?"
Then this morning LO woke at 6am with lots of crying and wanting milk. Normally he's a ray of sunshine when he wakes up! I went downstairs to get him milk, but I didn't fill the bottle enough for his liking and he moaned and cried about that too. All through this OH slept - or pretended to! And that drives me mad too? When he did wake up I asked him why he didn't help me earlier and he said because he hadn't slept in the night. Welcome to my life! I don't sleep at night - proved by how often I'm on here at 3am - and yet I still have to get up with LO at whatever time he graces the world.
But after all this moaning, in fairness to my OH, he did look really dreadful this afternoon. And I should be more sympathetic but I just can't be in my head. And I can't even pretend to be sympathetic outwardly when my head is so angry. Because all this time whilst I was ill - our LO has just turned 2 - he didn't give me the sympathy or support I needed. So why should I care about him is what my head shouts at me! And the answer is of course because I love him. But that doesn't help because he didn't support me because of love.
Last Thursday night, after LO being ill for 4 days, OH came home from work a day early. That is the first time in 2 years that he has taken a day off to come home to help me. And then he was great on the Friday ... but I had to do some work myself so didn't get any rest. And then on the Saturday he turned in to moody sod and moaned on about the fact that there was no food in the house - yeah, like when was I going to go shopping with ill LO and all my own work to do? So I get one day of support and sympathy and then back to being moaned at.
God, haven't I gone on? I would love to hear from you as to whether I'm just a moany cow or what. But please be gentle with me.
FloBob