Was getting better ... then he stopped sleeping...

[Em]

Hi, hoping someone can offer me some advice.

Had a really rubbish year but I was well and truely on the road to recovery, but things have taken a bit of a turn for the worse.

I think the main reason is my son (aged 21 months) has decided he won't go to sleep at bedtime. I'm well and truely at breaking point. I've cut out his daytime nap so now I have a grumpy baby from about 3pm onwards. I've put thick curtains in his bedroom. Don't know what else to try.

I have not changed his routine at all, bath, milk, books then bed. But, now I put him to bed and he screams and cries and cries and cries. I continually put him back to bed doing all the usual things - no eye contact, no fuss etc. But this goes on for hours and I'm exhausted. On top of this he's started coming into our bedroom at 2am and it all starts again, and then he's up at 5.30.

What can I do??
I'm starting to feel like I don't like him again and I'm getting really down.

[winegirl]

Hi Em

My LO is 2 and still has her daytime nap. If she didnt she would be awful in the afternoons and get over tired. Perhaps your LO is getting so tired that he is getting wound up at bed time and a little nap at lunch time might put him in a better frame of mind and settle more easily at bedtime? I might be completely worng but it isthe only suggestion I have as everything you are doing at bed time is exactly right to me!

WG xx

[Scarlet]

Hi Em,

Is your son in a bed now?. My son is as old as yours and still in a cot, and I have no trouble with his sleeping now. Upto him being about 18 months he was waking about 10~15 times a night.

I have got him into a strict routine now where I play with him then give him his milk, nappy change etc. then I put him in his cot in the bedroom at around 9pm and leave him, and he sleeps until 7.30am with the odd time of waking up. Before this I used to rock him to sleep, and would run to him every time he woke up. When I started this new regime, at first he would cry when I left him, but after a few nights (perhaps a week) of ignoring his cries (checking but then leaving the room, and then just listening at the door and not entering), he got used to it and now sleeps like a log. Nap times are the same and he sleeps for 2 hours, 12~2pm.

For my son his own bed at this age would be a nightmare, because I could imagine him running around the house in the middle of the night when he woke up, and I wouldn't know what mischief he would be upto.

Could you revert back to a cot for a while hun? this would certainly stop him wandering into your bedroom at 2am.

xxx

[AnxiousMum]

Hi Em,

I dont think I can add much to what the other girls have said. However, if you feel putting LO back in a cot would be a step back ,and he may climb over anyway as mine did from about 2, one thing that we did was to put a stair gate on his bedroom door.

Some may not agree, but it worked for us and stopped LO getting into other rooms when we were busy. When he was getting overtired, I used to put him in his room to chill out and more often than not I would go to check on him and he'd be asleep.

Have you tried taking him out for a walk after dinner? Maybe some fresh air and light exercise will help get rid of that last bit of energy? Mind you - he'll probably be like my LO and end up asking for a cuddle half way through the walk and you'll end up carrying him!

Good luck and hope things improve for you!
Kx

[Scarlet]

Anxiousmum,

I like the idea of the gate on the bedroom door. I will certainly consider it for my LO in the next 6 months.

xxxxx

[monica]

Hi Em

Kids not wanting to go to sleep can be a nightmare especially when it encroaches on the only time you probably have for yourself.

Both my kids went through phases of playing up just like your son and I found it best, when they were in the cot, to just leave them. It would disrupt them even more if I kept on going in. Initially, they would scream for 30mins to 45 mins and it would be this blood curdling type of scream, but over a couple of days they'd get the message and would settle down quickly. I'm sure it's just a phase and your little one will get the message - he's just pushing you. I liek the gate idea if your child can get out the cot or is in a bed.

As for the night time wakening - I've always given into my two as I can't stand the idea of being awake at night, especially as both my bf and myself work shifts and to be up for an hour or so doing the controlled crying thing when you have to be up at 5 is no fun. Funnily enough, my lo is very good and it's my eldest (who is 8) who keeps coming in. Not an ideal solution but maybe something to consider if you're desperate for kip.

All the best - I hope things pick up soon.

Monica

[Em]

Thankyou ladies for your ideas and support.

I've tried a few things - stair gate - he got so cross and shook at it so much he pulled it down! I guess my OH's diy skills or lack of helped him.

I'm letting him have the daytime nap again but earlier and shorter than I did before - think you were right WG that he was getting over tired.

After this I started pulling his door completely shut and after once he realised he couldn't escape he has started settling really well. We've only had one night where he has cried in the middle of the night so much I've had to go to him. He's much better in the mornings too. He's started to entertain himself in his bedroom with his books and toys - and occasionally emptying his wardrobe untill we go to him about half 7.

So, things much better with LO and I'm finally getting my evenings back to myself and its helped get my mood back on track.

Thanks again everyone...!

[winegirl]

Hi Em

So pleased things have got better for you babes! Bet you're really relieved!

Keep in touch

WG xx