SPD and labour

[flobob]

Hi
I am 29 weeks pregnant and have SPD. Last time I had to have a c-section at 38 weeks because of a haemorrhage, so don't know anything about labour.

I am in so much (constant) pain from the SPD that I'm beginning to consider having a c-section again, this time elective.

But I did so want to go through labour and childbirth.

And I'm wondering whether opting for a c-section will damage me mentally. And wondered if others could advise?

Really I've always been scared of childbirth since being a teenager. And when I had to have the c-section last time I was secretly relieved that I wouldn't have to go through the labour. But had so much guilt - not guilt that I'd had a c-section as there really wasn't much of a choice - but guilt that I was relieved. And I don't want to have all that guilt again because I think it contributed to PNI for me.

And then again, what I wanted for this birth was to have a water birth at home ... but OH was dead against a home birth because of the fear of problems and I've given in to his anxiety, mostly because he just would drive me mad and I'd be stressed by him during labour. So then I thought I could have a water birth at the hospital - water birth is supposed to help with relief of SPD pain, and it helps to have a bath at the moment so that figures. But my MW has told me that I can't have a water birth as the birth pool is in the mid-wife-led birthing centre (right next door to the main maternity bit at the hospital), but I'll have to be in the main bit because of having had a c-section before and really they would want to have me constantly monitored so wouldn't be able to be in water anyway.

So it just feels as if all my options have been taken away. And that I am being punished for having had a c-section before. And I don't know what to do. I know I don't need to decide now but I don't know how to get any clearer on this.

FloBob

[southerngirl]

These are my opinions completely.
If you want a homebirth you will have to be prepared to fight as you may meet with resistance. I had a section and have also had 2 wonderful homebirths.
With a homebirth you are the one in control, this can make it a much less stressful event. If you want to hide in your bedroom and shut out the world you can, you cant have that in hospital.
Waterbirth in itself will help with SPD as you can float around. I had my pool 3 weeks before and used to spend most evenings in it
SPD is awful and I really dont envy you that bit. If you do decide to go through labour then make sure everyone that comes near you remembers not to force your legs to do anything due to the damage they can do.
It is scary giving birth no matter how many times you have done that so your fear is natural. Even with number 10 I was still scared so nothing to be ashamed of.
With a good team then a natural birth may help as part of the healing process but only you can decide that.
www.homebirth.org.uk is a great source of information for you and your OH.
I think that the only damage to you mentally will be done if you do not make the choice (unless its a medical emergency of course).
Liz
x

[caterina]

Hi flobob
I had an assisted vaginal delivery last time (ventouse) and I'm still scared about labour this time round despite having been through it before.
As for SPD and labour my trawling of the internet has turned up some hints and tips. No epidural (boo!) as you won't feel damage if your legs are placed too far apart, as little intervention as possible, examinations etc and keep those legs together! No stirrups (yay!)
Don't feel guilty about feeling relieved you had a section last time, why go through labour if you don't have to? Don't get me wrong I realise it's a major op and complications can arise but as long as you and baby are healthy at the end of it all then that's the main thing. Some women have no pain relief and sail through it (not me!!) and some go for an epidural as soon as it's on the cards, there's no medals for bravery, you just have to get through it as best you can.
My pain relief choices last time were gas&air (marvellous stuff) and the water pool (which I got for 30 mins until my temperature went up and they ordered me out!) But it was great during that time. It's a real shame they won't let you even try it out at the hospital. Whatever you decide try to focus on the outcome rather than the journey..you and baby healthy whichever end the baby comes out of! xx

[southerngirl]

Caterina you reminded me about a tip.
Get something to put round your knees that will only allow you to go as far apart as is comfortable. This means that nobody can force them by accident as there will be something there to stop it.
As has been said a healthy baby and mum is the important bit. A good birth though no matter if its natural or a section will help in how you cope emotionally afterwards.
Make sure the midwives are aware of your wishes and your worries, that is what they are there for.
Liz
x

[winegirl]

I think I have already posted some stuff about SPD as I suffered myself. But cant remember if I meantioned to put a pillow between your legs and lie on your side when you sleep. Really helped me (and hubby) get a few hours sleep without me yelping...

[larsbars]

Hi Flobob,

I just wanted to mention that you don't have to be monitored throughout your labour. If they want to and you do to then fine but it's your body and if you don't want to be strapped up to monitors while in labour then so be it. It's up to you.

I had SPD but never had it properly diagnosed so I understand the discomfort you are going through. Unfortunately I wasn't careful about keeping my legs together as much as possible so afterwards I really suffered. Getting up out of a chair or out of bed took quite a while but I did find that the pain diminished very quickly, within about a week, to a point that it was very bearable. I think that hormones go into overdrive after pregnancy and help your body heal itself quite quickly so hopefully when the baby is born you'll feel a lot better within a few days.

Lara x

P.S. Southerngirl...did I read that right...you've got 10 children??

[southerngirl]

Yes you read it right lol
No more for me though, had last 2 at home one in water and one on dry land.
Had problems all the way through mainly with my back and hips with the last 4 so have every sympathy with anyone suffering.
The pillow tip is a great one. I found that a V pillow was ideal as you could curl up with it.
Liz
x

[flobob]

Cheers ladies
I'm no nearer deciding, but I'll have a think about what you've all said.
Thanks for the link, Liz, I'll check it out. Trouble is I don't think I have it in me to fight, because I'm so fearful that I'll fight for something that in the end will be wrong. And fighting with my husband on this is so difficult. He won't read anything - 3 weeks ago I gave him an article on VBAC, and he said he would read it. I asked him to talk to me about it once he'd read it. And he hasn't even looked at it. And then even if I do win the argument he will be the most stroppy, miserable for the rest of my pregnancy and through the birth and of no help or support to me.

Yesterday when I was driving I kind of decided not to have a c-section. But had a rotten day today so feeling all dejected and confused again.

I'll read a bit more and find out as much as I can and try to come to a decision.

Cheers everyone. FloBob

[monica]

Hi

Can your midwife or consultant not give you any advice? Even if you can't have a waterbirth I imagine you can spend time in a bath which can be v relaxing and jut get out to give birth?

Again, I'm no expert but if you opt for the vaginal birth, you may need more monitoring but I shouldn't think you need to be continuously montitored. If all is ok, then they can take the monitor off? Might be worth asking that.

Sorry your oh isn't very supportive. My bf is really against a home birth and always has been,as he wants to be at hospital in case of any probs. It's a shame he won't even look at the leaflet.

Take care

Monica

[flobob]

Hello Monica
Yes, my MW did give me some advice last time I saw her. But it all gets caught up in my head and I am confused afterwards. After the last appointment my OH said he was really shocked that she hadn't said no to a water birth outright. I've another appointment on Wed this week so I'll ask again about this stuff.

And my OH won't read any info either so know where you're coming from on that!

FloBob

[caterina]

Hi flobob
I agree with larsbars, it's your body and ultimately if you want to give birth swinging from the rafters then that's your call..personally I wouldn't recommend it though....
My recollection of labour last time is a bit hazy (gas&air!) but it was the midwife led unit (right next door to labour ward) and I although I wasn't continuously monitored, the midwife was in the room pretty frequently with the heart monitor they use at your midwife appointments listening in and as the labour progressed she was never really out of the room at all. I was certainly never left once the pushing bit started. My point is that I was probably monitored just as effectively as I would have been in labour ward and when there was a problem (at 4am!!) they had doctors, midwives and equipment in the room so fast and got my LO out in no time!
If there hasn't been an outright 'no' to a water birth then it's maybe worth asking when you get there, they might be willing to let you have a go with a bit of extra monitoring? If your OH can't/won't make your choices in labour known then write a birth plan, stick it in your maternity notes and hand it to the midwife when you get there, they will stick to it as much as possible providing you and baby are fine. I keep telling hubby new things I've thought of and almost turned his beautiful brown hair white the other night by telling him i wanted a home birth (think it's too late to organise at 39 weeks though!) I'm writing it all down though as I don't expect him to remember any of it! xx