Mandy
New Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Mandy on Jan 23, 2003 18:07:41 GMT
hiya all i have a 2yr old son and a 9 month old daughter and have been on anti d's for about 3 months i am on 40mg of prozac it has just been increased but feel like it is not totally working does anyone else have this problem? i feel really fed up and feel i am missing out on my little ones baby years i think the worst thing is i feel so lonely i don't have any friends where i live as i am not from here and my family are not supportive i fear this will ruin my marriage as all my husband comes home too is a moaning wife but i don't think he understands i get no rest at all during the day so please some mums send a message back so i feel someone understands love mand
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Post by Julianne on Jan 26, 2003 14:06:46 GMT
Hello, I completely understand how you feel. I too feel that i am missing out on so much. My husband works away so when he isn't here I too feel isolated however I believe that it will get better. I have been on anti d's for nearly 3 months and like you have just doubled them. I feel that maybe they are starting to work as i have bad days but I am starting to have good aswell. Do you get out of the house at all during the day? As I find I don't wanna go out but if I force myself, even if it's just a walk to the park then I do feel better later on. Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel? I felt i couldn't speak to mine but eventually did and it was a great relief now if i'm low I just say i'm having a bad day and he seems to understand more. All we can do is take one day at a time. We will get better.
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Post by Veritee on Jan 29, 2003 23:41:23 GMT
Hi Julianne
It just rang bells in me when I read 'my husband works away' so I jsut had to write to you.
I do not think anyone who is not in this position understand how it can be when your partner/husband works away and you have PND. Mine is a merchant seaman and worked away 7 months out of 12 all the time I had PND and in fact still does. I also live on a moor in rural Cornwall with a 300 metre unmade track from the nearest small lane to get to my house - I know what it is lke to feel isolated!
The fist time my husband went away after she was born, when she was about 3 weeek old I just could not describe the unexpected panic that came over me.
In some ways I often felt I would be better off single as it was as much the disruption to my delicate psyche of him coming and going than the fact no one was with me. At times I felt that if I had no partner I would be in a better position to do something to deal with my isolation than being someone with a partner who worked away. Anyway I am sure these are my issues - not yours - but I still want to send you my support. Like you say it will get better and I suppose my daughter and I are proof of this as we are both fine now
All my good wishes Veritee
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Post by Jo on Jan 31, 2003 16:29:01 GMT
Dear Mandy,
Please try to talk to your husband, he may surprise you as to how understanding he can be! I do understand how your feeling, I was depressed for ages, and on my worst days, I couldn't get out of bed.
the turning point for me was when my little girl got taken into hospital for a hip operation, it made me realise how much I loved her, and that I had to beat the depression. I finally asked my GP for some help, and had some counselling which helped me no end. take each day as it comes, and don't be too hard on yourself if you have a really bad day. I also found that keeping really busy helped me, as I had no time to think about things too much.
write back if you want to talk some more - I have been there and come out the other side - and am more than willing to help you if I can, or just offer my freindship.
love Jo
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Post by Adi on Apr 1, 2003 20:12:58 GMT
Dear Mandy, I want to strengthen your hands and to tell you that it will get better. I had my daughter 2 years ago and I was PND. What helped was to become friendly with other moms in the same situation as you, ie to same age babies. You need to break your day up into portions so that you can get through the day. And break the week up into days. Allocate a friend a day and do something together: go to the park, have tea together, go to the baby clinic,go for a walk. See other mothers even if you don't think that under other circumstances you would have been friends. You'd be suprised how your life would change for the better and that you strike friendships that become very meaningful. Just sitting together and being busy doing the same things with your babies and exchanging stories and complaining to each other makes the lonliness disappear and makes the day go by so much better. It also makes you feel validated that what you feel and go through is NOT just you and that there is nothing wrong with you for feeling that way. Also, try to have an hour a day just for yourself. To take a bath (Hot baths with salts are very soothing). If you can get your husband to look after the baby so you can be alone with yourself and go out to do normal things from your life "before'. That way you are also 'fresh' to be good to him and not just 'needy'. Another tip I assure will change your life and help restore sanity into your life is to ALWAYS sleep when the baby sleeps. The lack of sleep after 3-4 months builds up to make any saine person loose their marbles. So if you are disciplined and get a nap every time your baby sleeps, you'll find more strength physically to cope with everything better. Finally, don't give yourself a hard time over how clean the house is and all the chores. Put aside the image of the 'good wife'. Istead prioritise: you, your baby and your relationship with your partner are MOST important. Don't try to be perfect, just survive through this tough time as best you can. It's OK. Also, write a diary. That helps to vent all the angers and frustrations onto paper instead of onto your partner. And it's out of your system but not 'out there' to cause trouble between you two. Also you'll be able to record your progress if you keep a journal. I can't believe how miserable I was and how far I've come. I am so happy to say that...believe me, you'll get through this and you'll feel ready to take it on again, just one day at a time. It will be OK. Good luck, Adi
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Post by Haze on Apr 11, 2003 18:29:35 GMT
Hi, this is my first time on this forum but I know just how you feel. I was on Prozac to but didn't feel it was doing me any good so GP changed it to another of same type. I did start to feel better but then got "stuck" and he changed them to a different type of A/D which made a difference. Unfortunately I got "stuck" again and he increased the dose whic again helped but after a few weeks I was getting so many side effects he stopped them completely. (BAD IDEA!!) Please talk to your GP and ask if perhaps a different type of tablet would help as they don't all work in the same way. There are lots of differents meds out there which can help, don't give up. NB If you change your meds do it gradually as even though I hadn't been on them long term comming off them was hell and I gave my GP a real ear bashing for it! (and I should have known better as I'm a nurse!) I also am feeling isolated as my closest friends don't live nearby any more and so have to keep in touch by email or phone. Am seeing GP next week but think I will have to go back onto something as need to get back to work and just can't until I feel a bit better. Good luck. I'm sure we will feel better soon. Pixie
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