High risk test results

[stevensmummy]

Hi Guys,

How are you all?
Hope you are all well and your lives have not been as manic as mine. This last month I've barely even had time to sleep!

Just over a week ago now I had blood test results for my triple test. I got a letter through the post saying I had a slightly increased chance of having a baby with spina bifida and was booked for an app at the ultrasound dept for this coming monday for an early detailed scan.

I cant say I was overly surprised, what with the epilepsy I had an inc chance anyway. But when it comes to the crunch the letter sort of made me think. Today I let myself think the worst casr senario, and what would we come back to out parents saying. It brought on the tears and I had to sit down coz it made me feel like passing out.

There are a few things in my head which make me think its just a precaution and a false result. 1, i'm further by my dates than they think, they need the test 15-18 wks and I'd hav been verging on 19wks by my dates. 2, Can my medicine affect this. 3, when i got my suposed 12wk scan, which they then stated it as 14wks, the baby was very active and the scanner actually pointed this out, I feel it moving and i'm about 18wks now by their dates.

Am I just being hopeful?
What if?
Can I allow myself to think what if?

Thanks again (in advance) girls, I love you all just for being there

Sarah xx

[winegirl]

Hey you!

Have been thinking about you and wondered where you were! x

I am sorry the tests werent as you would have hoped for. But I think you are right to be totaly hopeful at this stage. An increased risk is just that, and it is probably increased to like a 1 in 100 chance or something. How much detail will you get from the scan on Monday?

Yes, allow yourself to think what if. I always knew in my pregnancy that whatever my test results were it would make no difference, but everyone is different and it would be good to think about what if for a couple of days before the scan just in case.

I think everything will be fine, and will be thinking of you on Monday! Let us know how you get on mate. Have you still got my email? Really missed you and should keep in touch.

Sending you all my hugs and strength

WG xxx

[littlelotty]

Hi

I have a friend who has been through very similar to you. They key is to wait until you get more information - the scan, i know i would be the same as you but you cant think straight until you known for certain or have more information to make an informed choice. I dont think the meds would of made any impact otherwise they wouldnt let you take them. I know as mothers we feel guilty for everything but this is not something you have caused, it might be worth asking them about your dates if you believe you are further gone than what they are saying.

Let us know how you get on, hang in there you are doing soooooooooo well.

Littlelotty
xx

[stevensmummy]

Hi WG and LL

Thanx for the replies.

I know WG I feel terrible about not being around but things have just been so soooo hectic. I find its the kids bedtime b4 I get time to think and thats the whole bedtime routine into action, b4 you know it its 9 at night, i'm exhausted and OH is coming in the door in about an hr wanting his supper on the plate and I've no idea how or what I'm going to do!

Not sure if i still hav ure addy WG I had problems with my mail account so had to sweep things out and lost a fair few. Send me a PM with it again and I'll send you a mail.

Right now my brain is mince. Totally not working at all. I'm having to look after OH's workmates cats am and pm as they are away, he should be doing it but hes working away and leaves at 7, home anything between 9 and 11 so left to me. Oh lucky me! Hols here so kids not at playgroup creche toddlers etc so their routine mince and being extra hard work. My best mates Oh has been offshore, he moves rigs, and shes not coping too well with the bad weather its taking a long time to shift them, hes usually only away 3 days and the prospect was 10 but he got back in 5, lucky for her. bn with her alot, shes a good support to me and would do the same so bn making time with her as she has 2 kids same ages as my 2.

On to the scan, well like you say LL its a case of waiting for more info. This could b a complete falso alarm and there is nothin wrong, my dates out or the spine just closed late. I'm a trained biologist so I have bn in 2 minds to go searching some online journals to see what it really is and the aspects and factors involved.

Worst case its hydrocephalcus (? spelling) fluid in the brain, baby dies b4, during or soon after birth. Next down severly mentally handicapped and almost complete paralysis. All relates to the location of the open in the spine. In short the further up the hole, the worst the damage. Mildest case gap in the spine at the base and civered with mole type skin, sometimes very few abnormalitites, one leg shorter and a twist in spine. Almost completely normal life as a result. The range is emmense and all in relation to if and where.

Worst case I'm almost certain I would abort, for the sake of my eldest, nearly 4 at birth time, for it to die alraight away. I would struggle to cope but when i'm full term and he really knows its here, i mean he does already, i couldnt put him through that. At least now we could say something, what i dont know, but it could 'go away' in his mind realtively easily. Is that wrong?

Abortion now would mean delivery, ok i know i would choose c section. But even tho. It would totally screw you up wouldnt it. Knowing you had killed it intentionally. Could I cope with that? Could i cope with the trauma of full term, birth, then die in my arms? Whats the lesser of the two evils?

None of that seems reality just now. I feel sort of in limbo. Iike i'm talking in the 3rd person. To be totally honest I havent even really felt preg. I have this huge bump, and i can feel it lightly moving around but its not really real feeling just yet. I guess it gets that way the further on you go. I seem to remember this feeling the 2nd time round. !st time you are so excited you do nothin but think about it, after that you have so little time! terrible isnt it really.

I'll keep you informed and make more of a point to be here more often. I really must. i'll make some me time!

love and hugs xx

[winegirl]

Hi Hun

God dont feel bad about being around! I know what its like being up to your neck in it babes!

I really will be thinking about you on Monday. Nothing you can do till you know the facts. Whatever the results, you know where I am (will pm you email addy now)

Sending you all my love

WG xx

[littlelotty]

Hi Hun

I so feel for you at the moment and dont know how you are coping. I certainly couldnt. I said before my friend went through a similar thing - they had all the extra tests and it was confirmed that the baby did have spina bifida and they aborted - think she was 20 weeks and she had to give birth. I have no idea how they coped but they have some how and they are now talking about trying again.

Try and keep positive and wait until the results and then you can decide what you are going to do. We are all here for you hun and as you say this could be a false alarm.

Sending you lots of hugs and let us know when you have the results.

Take Care

Littlelotty
xx

[winegirl]

Thinking of you today with your scan Sarah x Hoping for the best for you and let us know when you can.

Sending you all my love xx

WG x

[littlelotty]

Hi Hun

Thinking of you hun, let us know when you get a min,

sending lots of hugs!

Littlelotty
xx

[winegirl]

How'd it go Sarah??

WG x

[Scarlet]

Sarah,

Thinking of you hun. I had test after test during my last pregnancy, nuchal scan, every month an ultrasound (which they do in Europe anyway) and I worried sick after each one. I rememebr getting results for Downs and the risk was low for my age (I'm older LOL) and I still worried and analysed all the possibilities and what I hdn't been told. During the nuchal scan he measured the femur and told me it was on the short side, and I worried about that...all this added to my anxiety most definitely, and in the end I gave birth to a healthy little boy, and he isn't a dwarf either. Please try and not analyse hun, I know it's hard waiting for results...an elevated risk doesn't mean a sure thing. My sis has epilepsy (I think I told you) and she took meds all through her pregnancy and her daughter was born fine, she never worried wither, mind you that was in the days that they didn't test for this that and the other...

Huge hug sent your way, and let us know how you get on, thinking of you.

xxxxxx

[stevensmummy]

Hi Guys,

I can finally get on the site. I dont know why i couldnt get on. I tried a few times yest too, kept moving to another random site when I tried to get on. Oh said comp was playing up with him too so maybe a gremlin!

Anyway!!!!!

After about an hr of poking about they have decided that they are 99% sure everythin is ok. The relief of it! To be totally honest i couldnt imagine going in there and them teling us something was wrong, but i also couldnt settle myself tha nothin was wrong and it would be ok. U get what I mean?

But anyway, its spine is perfect and the skin covering is full all down to the bottom. They were checking the cord attachment site too and its fine too. I was sore after and still a little today. It was in a breech position and had its little legs over its bum hiding the important bits so they pushed about at me to move it. Eventually after a cold drink it did move and they got to see what they wanted.

I feel pregnant now. It was nice to see it moving about so much and for such a long time. It was a relief and I feel like I can settle now.

Thanks guys for being there and Hi auntie Scarlet hope you are well too

xx

[winegirl]

Great news Sarah xx Now its time to relax and enjoy it hun (and of course keep us up to date with all teh developments!) When is your due date??

WG x

[stevensmummy]

Thanx WG

Due 22nd march. I already look like I have swallowed a pumpkin and found it impossible to hide at all. I'm about 18wks now. I'm actually allowing myself to feel excited about it.

I'm considering that 3D scan too just to find out the sex. I soooo want to know this time. Is that terrible, lol

xx

[littlelotty]

So glad it is good news, make sure you put your feet up and rest - you deserve it!

Littlelotty
xx

[stevensmummy]

Cheers LL but with 2 menace little boys its very hard!

xx