Post by ingleby on Mar 6, 2009 12:44:20 GMT
It took me about 18 months to get pregnant. I was desperate for a baby. I suffered a miscarriage when I was 21 which made me obsessed with getting pregnant again. Before I got pregnant I had a really unhealthy relationship with alcohol as in I needed to function on a daily basis but I decided to go tee total when I got pregnant with my son Caleb.
I think I just had totally no idea what pregnancy was going to be like in reality. In films and on telly they make out it's great and you are blooming with only a bit of morning sickness for first few months. Was I in for a shock!!! I got really bad dizzy spells and sickness for six months, all day not just on a morning!!! I basically just felt like crap 24 / 7 for nine months. I had real problems with work not doing risk assessments and my job as Assistant Manager is really hard work physically and mentally. I really struggled but carried on until I was 8 months then had to go off as I just couldn't cope anymore and they were worried about Caleb cos I started getting contractions and he was really small. I can definitely say that those were the hardest eight months of my life up until that point. I had some many problems random things like my breasts were bleeding and they thought I wouldn't be able to breastfeed, had a horrible experience when went to the breast clinic!!! I was in so much pain with them I couldn't sleep from about five months into the pregnancy and I was still working 10 hour shifts 5 days a week. I started getting really bad back pains and pelvic pain but I went to see the physio she gave me a support belt and said it was just pregnancy so I just coped with the pain. I kept lifting and doing stuff I shouldn't have at work cos I had no choice really I was there on my own or with lazy staff and I had to do it. I later found out I have Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction.
I went to the two classes that were offered in pregnancy one on breastfeeding which was crap and one ante natal class which was for two hours. The ante natal class was basically about don't have drugs cos it's bad for the baby, everyone has a vaginal normal delivery except in very rare cases so they didn't go into any other kinds of delivery. There was about 50 couples there so wasn't really a chance to ask any questions got given leaflets about natural pain relief methods and that was that. So of course I was all like I can do it I'm going to have a natural birth. I wrote my birth plan and was all set to do it the natural way!!! I read some books on births and they were all like birth is painful but bearable and even that some women found it a turn on!!! So as you can imagine I was totally unprepared for what birth was really like.
My contractions started naturally well I mean Caleb was already a week overdue and I had been trying all the things possible to get him out the usual raspberry leaf tea etc.. The pains started at 5.45am and they were bearable at first I did what they said at the class and thought this isn't so bad and rang the hospital when the pain started to get really bad. I went to the hospital after travelling over to the city to my mums first and staying there for an hour or so. The journey over was unbelievably painful as soon as I leaned back or sat down the pain was uncontrollably horrible I was screaming in the car and didn't know what was happening this was my first taste of things to come. I now know it was cos of the SPD.
Once I got to the hospital with my mum and boyfriend they examined me and said I was 2cm. The midwife said I should have some pethidine as I obviously couldn't cope with the pain and I was only at the beginning. So I discussed it with my birth partners who agreed and I have to admit I was so glad when it kicked in!!! The midwife asked me for a urine sample but I told her I couldn't wee for some reason she said this was normal and nothing else was said about it.
I was mostly happy pottering about and they tried to get me to go on the bed but every time I tried to sit or lay down I was in unbearable pain so they let me walk about and tried to get me to eat but I kept throwing up cos of the gas and air. Then they changed midwives and I was examined and they said they were taking me to early labour ward because I wasn't progressing quick enough and I could have a bath there. Then we moved me and all my stuff over there and ran the bath and another midwife came and examined and said I was 8cm and needed to quickly get back to delivery!!! I never gone my bath and things started to go down hill from there. I was happily on the birthing ball and then the midwife said Caleb was gonna come out soon and I was knelt on the floor ready and pushing. But then she said something wasn't right I started losing a lot of blood and she said I had to lay on the bed and put the monitor on. I tried to get back up again but I wasn't allow cos the monitor kept falling off. After that I am a little confused about what happened the pethidine started to wear off and I was in so much pain been laid on my back. Then they found Caleb had turned and my contractions stopped they put me on a drip and I was losing loads of blood. Caleb went into distress and they said they needed to get him out now so I had a choice of forceps or caesarean. I didn't want either and didn't really know the consequences of either. Knowing what I know now I should have had a caesarean but I didn't know about the SPD and so had forceps. Oh my god I can't even put in words how much pain I was in when they put me in the stirrups I kept thinking I'd rather be dead then be experiencing this level of pain. It seem to take forever to get Caleb out and the midwife said I wasn't trying hard enough and then they found out he was stuck behind my bladder so they had to empty it and then he finally came out. I think because I was pushing and they kept making me when he was trapped my insides have got damaged or it could be from the D & C I had to have 7 weeks later. I was in labour for 22 hours in total.
So after Caleb finally came out they put him on the breast to feed and I was so out of it cos of the drugs and so was he. Oh I thought he was dead at first cos when his head came out but wasn't totally out they said to me he is out now and I said why isn't he crying then. But noone explained to me that his head wasn't totally out yet and I couldn't see what was happening so I thought they were lying and he was dead then I thought I just want to die rather then live after this nightmare.
The aftercare I received at the hospital was shocking. They took me for a bath eventually there was only one chair in the room and my boyfriend was sat on it with my Caleb my mum had gone home. I was wandering around totally out of it. My blood and sick was all over the place. When I gone out of the bath the woman never came back and I didn't know what room I was in I ended up wandering round the ward. Someone eventually found me and sent me back to the room which still hadn't been cleaned up. We were there for hours until finally someone came to take us to maternity ward. The midwife on the ward was horrible to me and spoke to me like I was a child. Caleb had jaundice and they blamed it on me not feeding him enough. I just felt like I'd been hit by 10 trucks and could hardly walk. I just wanted to go home but they wouldn't let us leave cos of the jaundice. I eventually kept on at them and they did some tests on Caleb and watched me feed him then said I could go.
Since the birth we've both had some many health problems. Caleb has reflux and really bad colic. I've had so many infections had about 20 courses of antibiotics. I had to go for a D & C cos had retained placenta which wasn't discovered for 7 weeks cos no one believed how much pain I was in with contractions, thought I was having another baby it was that bad!!! I was finally diagnosed with SPD and PND when Caleb was about 6 months old and am currently waiting for an appointment to come through for an ultrasound as I think my insides have got badly infected with the damaged I have sustained. Everyday is a fight and a struggle some days I don't know how I even get out of bed I'm in that much pain but I take comfort in the fact me and Caleb went through it all together and he keeps me strong and fighting!!!
I think I just had totally no idea what pregnancy was going to be like in reality. In films and on telly they make out it's great and you are blooming with only a bit of morning sickness for first few months. Was I in for a shock!!! I got really bad dizzy spells and sickness for six months, all day not just on a morning!!! I basically just felt like crap 24 / 7 for nine months. I had real problems with work not doing risk assessments and my job as Assistant Manager is really hard work physically and mentally. I really struggled but carried on until I was 8 months then had to go off as I just couldn't cope anymore and they were worried about Caleb cos I started getting contractions and he was really small. I can definitely say that those were the hardest eight months of my life up until that point. I had some many problems random things like my breasts were bleeding and they thought I wouldn't be able to breastfeed, had a horrible experience when went to the breast clinic!!! I was in so much pain with them I couldn't sleep from about five months into the pregnancy and I was still working 10 hour shifts 5 days a week. I started getting really bad back pains and pelvic pain but I went to see the physio she gave me a support belt and said it was just pregnancy so I just coped with the pain. I kept lifting and doing stuff I shouldn't have at work cos I had no choice really I was there on my own or with lazy staff and I had to do it. I later found out I have Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction.
I went to the two classes that were offered in pregnancy one on breastfeeding which was crap and one ante natal class which was for two hours. The ante natal class was basically about don't have drugs cos it's bad for the baby, everyone has a vaginal normal delivery except in very rare cases so they didn't go into any other kinds of delivery. There was about 50 couples there so wasn't really a chance to ask any questions got given leaflets about natural pain relief methods and that was that. So of course I was all like I can do it I'm going to have a natural birth. I wrote my birth plan and was all set to do it the natural way!!! I read some books on births and they were all like birth is painful but bearable and even that some women found it a turn on!!! So as you can imagine I was totally unprepared for what birth was really like.
My contractions started naturally well I mean Caleb was already a week overdue and I had been trying all the things possible to get him out the usual raspberry leaf tea etc.. The pains started at 5.45am and they were bearable at first I did what they said at the class and thought this isn't so bad and rang the hospital when the pain started to get really bad. I went to the hospital after travelling over to the city to my mums first and staying there for an hour or so. The journey over was unbelievably painful as soon as I leaned back or sat down the pain was uncontrollably horrible I was screaming in the car and didn't know what was happening this was my first taste of things to come. I now know it was cos of the SPD.
Once I got to the hospital with my mum and boyfriend they examined me and said I was 2cm. The midwife said I should have some pethidine as I obviously couldn't cope with the pain and I was only at the beginning. So I discussed it with my birth partners who agreed and I have to admit I was so glad when it kicked in!!! The midwife asked me for a urine sample but I told her I couldn't wee for some reason she said this was normal and nothing else was said about it.
I was mostly happy pottering about and they tried to get me to go on the bed but every time I tried to sit or lay down I was in unbearable pain so they let me walk about and tried to get me to eat but I kept throwing up cos of the gas and air. Then they changed midwives and I was examined and they said they were taking me to early labour ward because I wasn't progressing quick enough and I could have a bath there. Then we moved me and all my stuff over there and ran the bath and another midwife came and examined and said I was 8cm and needed to quickly get back to delivery!!! I never gone my bath and things started to go down hill from there. I was happily on the birthing ball and then the midwife said Caleb was gonna come out soon and I was knelt on the floor ready and pushing. But then she said something wasn't right I started losing a lot of blood and she said I had to lay on the bed and put the monitor on. I tried to get back up again but I wasn't allow cos the monitor kept falling off. After that I am a little confused about what happened the pethidine started to wear off and I was in so much pain been laid on my back. Then they found Caleb had turned and my contractions stopped they put me on a drip and I was losing loads of blood. Caleb went into distress and they said they needed to get him out now so I had a choice of forceps or caesarean. I didn't want either and didn't really know the consequences of either. Knowing what I know now I should have had a caesarean but I didn't know about the SPD and so had forceps. Oh my god I can't even put in words how much pain I was in when they put me in the stirrups I kept thinking I'd rather be dead then be experiencing this level of pain. It seem to take forever to get Caleb out and the midwife said I wasn't trying hard enough and then they found out he was stuck behind my bladder so they had to empty it and then he finally came out. I think because I was pushing and they kept making me when he was trapped my insides have got damaged or it could be from the D & C I had to have 7 weeks later. I was in labour for 22 hours in total.
So after Caleb finally came out they put him on the breast to feed and I was so out of it cos of the drugs and so was he. Oh I thought he was dead at first cos when his head came out but wasn't totally out they said to me he is out now and I said why isn't he crying then. But noone explained to me that his head wasn't totally out yet and I couldn't see what was happening so I thought they were lying and he was dead then I thought I just want to die rather then live after this nightmare.
The aftercare I received at the hospital was shocking. They took me for a bath eventually there was only one chair in the room and my boyfriend was sat on it with my Caleb my mum had gone home. I was wandering around totally out of it. My blood and sick was all over the place. When I gone out of the bath the woman never came back and I didn't know what room I was in I ended up wandering round the ward. Someone eventually found me and sent me back to the room which still hadn't been cleaned up. We were there for hours until finally someone came to take us to maternity ward. The midwife on the ward was horrible to me and spoke to me like I was a child. Caleb had jaundice and they blamed it on me not feeding him enough. I just felt like I'd been hit by 10 trucks and could hardly walk. I just wanted to go home but they wouldn't let us leave cos of the jaundice. I eventually kept on at them and they did some tests on Caleb and watched me feed him then said I could go.
Since the birth we've both had some many health problems. Caleb has reflux and really bad colic. I've had so many infections had about 20 courses of antibiotics. I had to go for a D & C cos had retained placenta which wasn't discovered for 7 weeks cos no one believed how much pain I was in with contractions, thought I was having another baby it was that bad!!! I was finally diagnosed with SPD and PND when Caleb was about 6 months old and am currently waiting for an appointment to come through for an ultrasound as I think my insides have got badly infected with the damaged I have sustained. Everyday is a fight and a struggle some days I don't know how I even get out of bed I'm in that much pain but I take comfort in the fact me and Caleb went through it all together and he keeps me strong and fighting!!!
